what do i do?

[Pushing Limits]

Before i start ill outline my problem,

im usually a strong minded person, never feel down, sorry for myself and i would never tell anyone this in real life..

6 Years ago my mum and dad split up, shortly after i was kicked out my mothers, moved in with my dad. My dads an indenile alcoholic, but i managed never to get worked up / upset over the sepearation.

In 2009, i hadnt heard from my mum in monthes, till i over heard my dad at which point i asked and he said "your stupid mothers moved to scotland" this was 2 monthes and neither of us had a clue! she took my 3 brothers and my sister,

anyways the oldest of them moved in with my dad, in march 2011 i was kicked out for failing my A levels, - due to arguments day in day out with my father most likely built up stress

in march of this year i moved back in with my dad, he looks unhealthy, has bad psoriasis, ddrinking when hes back from work, weekends... but not small amouts/ 2 crates a weekend + box of wine = 3 bottles)

on weekdays he comes home drinks again, i make tea for me and my other brother

we still have arguments when he;s pissed over petty things. im worried coz i go out frequently coz i cant bare all the photos of my brothers + family when we were together.. my mum tried to kill herself - slit her wrists (probily an act of attention, shes always been a drama queen" my 2 brothers and sisters are now in fostercare and my dad cant afford to house them all aged 9, 11, 12

My mum changed her number, deleted her facebook. and i know its not that important but thelast 3 years she could have atleast phoned me on either christmas or my birthday, every year i ensure i get her a card, and mention the kids.. i havent had 1 back

im worrried about my dad, sereously he looks so unwell as you can see in old photos. hes always been smart dressed, never drank as much. but his mates say they havent seen him since november and he refuses to go to the pub

i know that sounds daft but id rather him go to a pub with his mates, rather than him sit inside drinkin with the blinds closed he knows he looks bad, he wont go to the doctors,
my other brother is a lil shit, and just asks for money all the tym / takes out his room without permission. ive been doing everything, cooking, the washing, ironing house work as i just got layed off n i want him to be happier

its all got too much for me emotionally and i cant tell my dad as itll upset him more

my house has loads of photos around it and everytime i see a picture i get a lump in my throat. things will never bethe same my dads 44, and says he cant see himself living another 15 years (he doesnt want too)

what can i do... im usually emotionally stable but atm i cant look at anything, speak about my brothers, and whenever someone asks how my mum or dad are doing i can hardily speak about it and have to cut conversation short.

i just dont get why i have become emotionallyh unstable, i always front im happy to people, but on weekends i can see i take it out with agression... never on my friends, but they notice it too
ive never been like this in my whole life..

 

Seems like you're going through a rough time..
I don't really know exactly what your going through, but try and sort your dad out somehow.
I know you said you don't want to tell him how you feel, but try it and see if he listens.

 

[Cicak Mage]

Hey mate, looks like your having some serious issues. Sorry to say but, I don't think anyone can resolve this issue on Sythe. I think you should either try and sit your dad down to talk before he starts drinking and just talk to him, ask him why he's drinking, what he's doing to himself etc. If that doesn't help, I suggest taking it into your own hands to get him the much required help.

 

[hypeRAccounts]

Yeah, I kind of have the same issue dunno what to do

 

[Liight]

First of all, don't let your personal life get in the way of your education. Your education is basically your freedom from all this. I know it sounds stupid, but its true.

Second you just have to relax. You're still in high school (I am to). You just have to think of the good times their are. Seeing as you're the oldest, I figure you're around 14 - 17. Some things you just have to let go, you can't hold onto them forever or else its like carrying around dead weight.

You may not know this, but this is making you a stronger person. It's said by the Marine Core that Pain is Weakness Leaving The Body. You're going through all this pain, but in the end there will be something amazing and you just have to keep striving for it. You're incredibly independent, you care about your family, you have friends, and you can realize your problems. You're basically a grown person. You just have to utilize this and let everything that's happening now and in the past go away, and start a new.

You said you were failing your classes, well try not to. Believe me I'm in the 11th grade and I've NOW just figured out that I can escape my family and the annoying people BY PASSING HIGH SCHOOL.

Don't do anything drastic, and best of luck to you .

If you ever want to talk add me on MSN - [email protected]

 

[Pushing Limits]

nope im 18, my partents split up around 5 years ago, he wont accept my help, he doesnt eat during the day (works 50 hours a week 5 days), i made him sandwhiches coz he doesnt eat on lunch, and he left em... he comes back drinks... his boss said he smelt beer on his breath from night before i make tea every night but that night i slept out and he didnt make himself tea (frst time in weeks)..

 

[Pushing Limits]

p.s i failed the a levels, as i was kept up rowing in weeks up till my exam. and kept me up till 6am ish when i had to arrive to the exam hall by 9 :/ i got 3 U's
thats part the reason he kicked me out, but i cudnt help... i told him and tried explain but its taken him a year to understand

 

[Liight]

I hate to say it, but if your dad really doesn't understand the pain he's putting you guys through, then you have to make him realize it. Explain that his alcoholism is what made you fail. That everything he's doing is effecting himself and the ones around him.

He probably needs an intervention. You could ask someone to help you with that.

 

[Pushing Limits]

thanks for all the support, my dad isnt the type of person to go to a intervention, he's closed himself from most the world, ive been trying to speak to him, and i will keep doing this but he will never undertstand

 

[Liight]

Maybe you could get someone to talk to him about it, like his boss or maybe another family member. You always have to try, there has to be some way.

Just remember this isn't your fault !

 

[Pushing Limits]

thanks light, he doesnt go out the house to talk to :/ his boss = asshole too!