Overcomin broken heart

Decided to make this thread, cuz im in the similiar spot right now. Its not my first breakup. Thought after the first breakup, second one going to be easier, but i guess i was wrong. Shit hurts like hell, but im trying to keep hittin the gym, work etc, but still i have time to look this stupid messenger and looking if she's online and hoping probably she writes to me or some shit. Would be great to hear other people stories how You managed to overcome broken heart whatever might caused it, feels like im not alone in this current shit.

Thanks for reading and sorry about my shitty english

 

Hi man. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it's really shitty. It's nothing but natural to feel like you're doing after a break up. Only thing that will help you heal is time and acceptance. Don't wait in hope for her to write back. Either you take the step or you don't, and then you might be better off with her deleted from your contacts/friends. Also talk to your IRL friends or family about it.

 

I had a rough break up almost two years ago. It’s was mutual but it still hurt pretty bad after four years. Talking to your friends is good advice, I have a few lifelong friends that kind of rallied around me and kept my spirits up.

I distracted myself by setting certain goals - saving up money to buy X, started going to the gym and eating better, and travel was big for me as well. Took a 5-6 week solo trip around Asia, felt like a changed man when I came back.

Basically focus on bettering yourself, take some time to realize whats important in your life and what makes you happy. It’s also important, after some time, to reflect on the relationship. Try to be as objective as possible and think about what mistakes you made, why you two didn’t work out, etc. Definitely made future relationships easier. Good luck


Also this might be better in the personal support section

 

One thing I can advise is NOT to look to drugs as a solution. Can't stress that enough.

 

Time heals all. Just try not to think about it or it'll become part of your daily life and get you caught up in shit you don't want to feel anymore. It's better to just move on, as hard as it is. Hope you're strong enough to move on, it's very hard and sad.

 

Sorry dude.

Unfortunately, there's no easy cure. Keep going to the gym, keep yourself busy, and don't look at their social media. As others have said, time will eventually help, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

 

Thanks for all the positive comments, trying to hold my head high!

 

I don't know how to stress it enough, and it's something that my first two breakups would have been way easier if I had internalized it sooner:

My mother had a variation on the cliche "let a thing go, if it comes back, it was meant to be."

Her variation is "let a thing go, if it comes back, it's where it WANTS to be", because ultimately the relationship might seem right to YOU, but to her, she might not want it whether that's her mistake or not. In the meantime, the more you look at her social media, wish for her back, check up on if she's happy or not, the more you'll forget that she didn't WANT to be there.

The second important thing I've internalized is that: it's not about you. If you are confident you gave your all, if you are sure that you were right to be together and she has so much to gain being with you, and she still doesn't want to, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, and you will be ultimately happier maybe months maybe years down the line to have accepted the way of the world and chosen to move on. If you gave your whole self, and she scorned it, played games, didn't reciprocate your affection, you deserve more.

All this advise is assuming you didn't fuck up and cheat on her, or fuck her over in some other way. In which case, you'll still be happier to move on and learn from mistakes and grow from the experience.

 

Your next girlfriend/wife will be better, life is trial and errors. Keep your chin high and move forward.

 

Emotional pain in my opinion hurts far more than physical pain. Really all that is needed is time bud. Time for yourself, time away from social media and things that remind you of her (or him for anyone else). Im going on 27 and have had my heart truly broken 3 times so far. Multiple break ups ofcourse but those 3 were really the worste. Everytime was the same. I felt like nothing would make me feel better. You always have to tell yourself "you have to keep your head up,even when you're fed up." Some things that help me cope and get over those heart breaks was getting outside ALOT. Hiking, sports,just being outside all together. Other things were working out, video games and talking with my brother. You will get through this bud. It just takes time.

 

Working to improve upon yourself is always what I recommend to people. I mean as bad as it is, look back on the relationship. Was it really worth it? Was the break up your fault or the other parties? Don't dwell on it, there's a lot more fish in the sea. Take some time for you, the more the better and when you find yourself upset do something you know that normally makes you happy.

 

Go out, meet your family friends, gym indeed is a good activity to do.

Try to get your mind of this, talk to people on sythe maybe?

Try to go game or sommething,

Go outside as much as you can!

And remember, everything will be fine eventually.

 

Honestly the only cure is too get back on the horse and ride it, even if you dont want to just get out there! I was in the dumps for 2 year untill I made the idea to put my self out there was crappy at first but you will meet someone who will make you smile again that's a promise

 

Hey sorry to hear about this man. I've been in your shoes. The only thing I can say now is that it takes time. If you have a good group of friends. reach out to them, stay active. Discover doing something you like doing. Eventually, you will think less and less about the person. For me, I haven't forgotten, but it doesn't impact my day anymore. I go to the gym, see my friends. Eventually, you will be able to move on healthily. Don't do anything you aren't ready for.

Feel what you're feeling and don't try to mask it, part of getting over it is taking the time to understand it hurts. But don't burden the people around you with your problems every time you see them. It's a delicate balance, I personally sucked at that. But I promise that as time goes on, it will hurt less.

Breakups suck, but you aren't alone in feeling shitty. It meant you cared.

My big suggestion to you is this - if you need to delete them from social media, or block them. Do it. You need to not have daily reminders of that person. Do whatever you need to do.

When you get to the otherside of this all, I'm sure you will feel relieved, I know I did.

 

I find it's easy to romanticize the good things in a relationship after a breakup, I recommend writing down a list on paper of the bad things, the fights, the reasons it may have ended, it can really ground you. It will make you realise what the next relationship may fix.

 

Thank you all for these kind words and advices! Since its been couple of months, then i just doesnt think about it. Just doing my thing and it was just another small chapter in my life, which had to happen i guess

 

Glad to hear brother, PM is open if you ever want to talk

 

Ik this post is old. I only just seen it. I was in a serious relationship for 5 years. We were highschool sweethearts. We went to college together and got our own place. Long story short I didn't treat her right, and now Im the one regretting it. 5 years I thought no matter what I did I would never lose her. One day we got in a fight and I told her to leave, not thinking she actually would. Fast forward 3 years now to today. I still miss her like the day I told her to leave. Ill never be with her again and I don't think ill ever get over her. They say time heals all things and I hope it heals for you. But for me it just don't get any easier :/

 

Sad story. Have you tried linking back with her like in a drama show since u miss her so mch

 

TWC lol almost as sad as you.