When to ask a girl out?

[TheDarkExistence]

Hello, I'm a lurker, yes, but have been meaning to discuss a certain issue I've got with girls; I don't know when to make my move. Some people tell me to wait until I'm 110% sure that the girl likes me, but others say to do it whenever and however I like. Which is it? I don't think I'd have the balls to ask one out that I don't know if they like me or not >_< The concern comes from that I know a few girls who act flirty with me and stuff but I'm unsure whether or not it's something I should act upon, just in case they're the same with everyone.

Also, when I'm around girls I feel like I need to always be talking...Call it nervousness or whatever, but silences strike me as unappealing for girls so I try to have the least amount possible. Is this right, or should I only speak when I have something to say? Sometimes the things I end up saying are stupid, I've even caught myself making up stories that I pass as fact just to create conversation. If I don't talk enough, I also feel that a guy that comes along and talks more and is more interesting than me will snatch the girl I'm after :I

I've only ever asked out 3 girls in my life and 1 said no then the other 2 lasted no more than a couple days...For all 3 I waited until I knew they liked me and for 2 of them I had the talking issue (I was actually pretty calm with the third, but it turns out she was more of a party girl and preferred hookups) I don't know if it's just me or what

Heeeelp

 

[Drugs]

Ask them how they feel, make sly questions like, you inteseresd in a reletionship, who you liking, your hot as fuck, i would like (her reply you can base you your answer on)

 

[Iminess]

Yeah i've had a similar problem, but i found out that for me it's better to ask them after i am sure they like me back, just keep trying to make conversation, and see how it goes.

 

[Loyal 2 da game]

Make conversation. Who gives a fuck if you're making up stories. Just don't be shy and quiet. Girls want guys who are confident. Also, it was probably just by chance that the last two relationships only lasted a few days. You just gotta find the right girl bro.

 

[Drugs]

Boy - Oright x

Girl - heya x (replys with x = good)

Boy - upto much this weekend

Girl - going out

Boy - aye, where about lykes, gettin steamin?

Girls - Just about town

Boy - Aye, whos all out like, i might pop into you

Girl - blah blah blah blah blah, yeah you might hehe x

Boy - doing anything else apart from drinkin

Girl - Maybe(This could mean shes not wantin to get inabout u but another) Na (bail if ur wantin a quick one, but it u wana play the long game, be like "Just wana spend time with friends? Sounds good ") Yes (IN THERE)

Boy - Oh aye who you liking lykes

Then get it out of them be a bit cheeky, very flirt, let them know what you are after, that means they feel more comfortable cos there not making the first move.

Then its DRINK + PULL then bend her over a grit bin, job done san

Least this works in Scotland

 

[TheDarkExistence]

Boy - Oright x

Girl - heya x (replys with x = good)

Boy - upto much this weekend

Girl - going out

Boy - aye, where about lykes, gettin steamin?

Girls - Just about town

Boy - Aye, whos all out like, i might pop into you

Girl - blah blah blah blah blah, yeah you might hehe x

Boy - doing anything else apart from drinkin

Girl - Maybe(This could mean shes not wantin to get inabout u but another) Na (bail if ur wantin a quick one, but it u wana play the long game, be like "Just wana spend time with friends? Sounds good ") Yes (IN THERE)

Boy - Oh aye who you liking lykes

Then get it out of them be a bit cheeky, very flirt, let them know what you are after, that means they feel more comfortable cos there not making the first move.

Then its DRINK + PULL then bend her over a grit bin, job done san

Least this works in Scotland

I haven't a clue of what you just said

 

[Drrizzzy Drake]

I don't agree with either option. I know its hard to do but its almost always better to ask a girl out sooner rather then later. Only you know how you look/ if the girl could be attracted to you. I think that you should get to know the girl first and after hanging out successfully about 5 times ask her out. Girls are really nice and won't usually say no and even if they do don't sweat it. Your not a kid anymore so don't feel awkward or down on yourself life goes on. You won't get anywhere with girls unless you have balls or the girl is super controlling and asks you out. You certainly don't want to wait to long or you'll be "like a brother" and they will tell you they can't see you as a bf and only a friend/ brother. Hope I helped goodluck.

 

[xGRAVESx]

It's all down to your personal choices, personality and each individual case.

Me? I'm terrible at asking girls out, not going to lie. I'm with a girl now, but when It came to ask her our, I froze up, almost missed the opportunity and then as she was about to jump on the bus home it kinda all fell out. Luckily, it was all okay and she said yes.

But do not do as drugs said, that's a sure-fire way to piss off a girl, even if they like you. They're not dumb and they can see the sly questions as clear as you ask them.
When will you know to ask? To be honest you wont, you just have to take that little leap, it will more or less happen when it's right.

Just take her out for a movie, see her when possible and just generally get to know her, all these boys worry about acting cool, showing off. When all that matters is that you show you really do care for her.

Hope that helped

 

[TheDarkExistence]

I don't agree with either option. I know its hard to do but its almost always better to ask a girl out sooner rather then later. Only you know how you look/ if the girl could be attracted to you. I think that you should get to know the girl first and after hanging out successfully about 5 times ask her out. Girls are really nice and won't usually say no and even if they do don't sweat it. Your not a kid anymore so don't feel awkward or down on yourself life goes on. You won't get anywhere with girls unless you have balls or the girl is super controlling and asks you out. You certainly don't want to wait to long or you'll be "like a brother" and they will tell you they can't see you as a bf and only a friend/ brother. Hope I helped goodluck.

I don't see how you can ask a girl to hang out without her thinking it's a date...If I were to ask her to do anything, it would probably just end up being a date

 

[TheDarkExistence]

Do it when you think you both would benefit from a relationship. If you get along well with a girl, tell her exactly what you think of her and that you'd like to spend more time with her. You don't need to rush into it, but you don't need to be absolutely sure either. If you tell her that you like her in a mature way and give her some reasons, she'll likely want to pursue a relationship and, if she doesn't, it won't be embarrassing. What's to be embarrassed about? And what's to be nervous about? If you like her and you think she might like you, just give it a shot.



That's not the case at all. I'm naturally a very quiet person. A good guideline is that if you're comfortable, the other person is probably comfortable as well. So you just need to act in a way that makes you comfortable; be yourself. Again, I'm a quiet person. I'll listen to people for a long time. Just the other day I was sitting at a girl's apartment. I'd known her for a week or so, but she telling me all about a lot of personal subjects (including, oddly enough, her physical last week). She told me that she feels like she should feel weird telling me about it having known me for such a short amount of time, but she didn't. Be yourself and people will feel comfortable around you, whether you're a talker or a listener.



In my opinion, people put too much importance on one specific moment where you express your feelings toward the person. The best way is to express them throughout your relationship in small ways. When I was in elementary school I was fond of a girl. We'd sit on the sidewalk during lunch and talk about everything. I'd give her pictures I'd drawn and tell her that she means a lot to me. We were great friends for a long time. One day she moved. My point is that neither of us felt awkward because I was always honest with her and told her exactly what I thought of her. The most important part is honesty. You don't have to tell her everything about yourself, just be open about how you think of the relationship.

Thanks for the advice! One specific girl I've had an eye on insinuated she wanted my company in physics class because she sits all on her own, she also told me where she worked and suggested I go visit her after I work out at the same place

Going to see if I can ask her out for tomorrow night, wish me luck!

 

[Deveriski]

Just do it when the time feels right . Don't ever pretend to be someone else that you aren't just to get with a girl though. We hate that.

 

[isuckathalo1]

Whenever YOU are ready to ask the girl out dont listen to others listen to what your heart says but remember be confident but not cocky

 

[Exampe]

Spend more time with her as a friend, Hint that you like her and she if she catches on.. If she starts pushing you away you have failed, But if she smiles alot and stares at you, you should ask her..

 

Okay, I'm not going to sugar coat this. Your whole "asking out" thing reminds me of a Grade 7 relationship. Now, even if you are 12 years old, that doesn't mean you need to act like it.

Asking out = in a relationship? No. You're making it too black and white. Stop going for the kill before weakening the girl. If you really want a girl to like you, take interest in her and spend time with her. Be flirty and touch her now and then. Delay the whole "wanna be in a relationship with me" thing. Keep them guessing, don't focus in on her until she focuses in on you. Flirt with other girls around her.

Bottom line, stop living your life like Lizzy McGuire. Get some balls and realize that asking out shouldn't mean a relationship. Asking out should mean asking to hang out. There's a lot less pressure and more mystery to taking that approach, and it's the way any mature person treats it. Women enjoy maturity. Step your game up.

Good luck.

 

[AfterLyfe]

Find a girl you find it easy to talk to

 

[Way2Be]

You have to go for it when the feeling is right, you will know the time.

You can't really find an answer to this question from anyone, because every situation is unique.

Basically, just go with the flow, and things will happen if they are meant to happen.

I do agree with R2, "asking out" is a completely different thing, than asking to be girlfriend/boyfriend. Key is, don't rush it, but don't delay too long either.

They will move on if you wait too long.

 

[Snares]

if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell her you like her chances are you aren't ready to tell her. when i like a guy i make sure he knows it with subtle hints and some not-so-subtle gestures.

 

[Lushai]

Boy - Oright x

Girl - heya x (replys with x = good)

Boy - upto much this weekend

Girl - going out

Boy - aye, where about lykes, gettin steamin?

Girls - Just about town

Boy - Aye, whos all out like, i might pop into you

Girl - blah blah blah blah blah, yeah you might hehe x

Boy - doing anything else apart from drinkin

Girl - Maybe(This could mean shes not wantin to get inabout u but another) Na (bail if ur wantin a quick one, but it u wana play the long game, be like "Just wana spend time with friends? Sounds good ") Yes (IN THERE)

Boy - Oh aye who you liking lykes

Then get it out of them be a bit cheeky, very flirt, let them know what you are after, that means they feel more comfortable cos there not making the first move.

Then its DRINK + PULL then bend her over a grit bin, job done san

Least this works in Scotland

not even gonna lie but that is just pro.