what do i do with my life

idk what to do with my life. like i legit dont really care about myself and im pretty sure ive been puking blood for over a year (not a daily occurrence, happens like once a month) but i just dont care enough to get it checked out. and even if that for whatever reason is nothing major, i have no motivation to really pursue a career in life - i just want to stay my own boss / self proprietor and the only reason im going back to uni now is just to have social interaction in life. normally i dont just vent out into public but im not close to a lot of people so theres not many people i can tell this shit to and i hate keeping things to myself because it just makes me feel shittier

 

The best thing to do is to talk to a professional in-real life. They can talk with you about your mental & physical situation and make a plan to better it.

I believe in you <3

 

Well you should definitely get that checked out because what if in a year you decide you wanna do x y and z with your life but whatever it is that's going on with you is super bad, and now you're sick and can't do what you want.

Going to uni for socialization is a good move, interaction really can help you out in the not caring about yourself situation, because when you make friends, they'll care for you and that can keep you in check.

Nothing's wrong with cruising life atm, but you should take care of yourself.

These things get more serious really quick even if you don't realize it or believe it's possible. For that reason, I'd recommend going to see a professional mental health care provider, they can talk you through these things and teach you how to change things to make yourself feel better.

Getting help is the right choice.

If you ever wanna talk, I'm open.

 

Same as me my dude, I attend university solely for the social experience. We share some of the same ideals too, wanting to remain self-employed (if you can call it that).

I'm just going to get my degree and see what opportunities arise after that. My college spams me with emails about job openings, work placements etc and I'm sure yours does too.

We'll end up with a lot of free time without school. That will provide us freedom to earn more money, or socialise more. Both of which being good avenues to pursue.

You could always travel with your dollars and see the world, maybe you'll find something along the way that appeals to you. I'll personally be travelling a lot and I want to learn more instruments, which'll give me something to do. I don't know if you're into that at all, but it's an idea you could think about.

Check the puking blood shit out though, that ain't good. I can't let one of my children be sick

 

There's a whole host of things that could be causing you to puke blood, but it is something serious and you should get it checked out.

 

Sounds like you are experiencing depression. Definitely get yourself checked out for your puking. You would be surprised how much even a minor comfort to your mind can help with depression.

 

i think you are experiencing depression. get some help from therapist.

 

Most definitely depression.

Go get yourself to the doc asap for the puking, is it stress related? Do you eat properly?

 

cheer up qtpie you got me

 

One thing I notice when I'm alone for large lengths of time is similar to how you feel, worthless uselesss and insecure.

Whilst social interaction at college/uni can take that away for a portion of the day or time, you need to think of after that as well. I would say take it day by day and gradually build yourself up to do something bigger but that's on you and you shouldn't have to stress yourself about it. The puking side of things can be multiple reasons, I used to have nose bleeds quite often (not really anymore) and that was partly due to how I felt about myself dragging myself down and then stress on top.

 

I sent you a pm man lets talk!

 

I assume you have no set schedule (not working/regular occupation)

Having no regular activity is incredibly stressful for you, and your gambling lifestyle doesn't help.

Stress has major mood impacts which people completely fail to realize. No one can stay sane and work full time, always alone, always inside, on their PC. Socialization will push you to a better place, then you'll be able to take more rational decisions without wanting to kill yourself 247

Try to apply for part time jobs, don't look at the pay just get something where you'll talk with people. If you have a free schedule + high school diploma, you should be able to get 2 days/week. Don't do it for the money, just do it to give yourself a reason to go outside.

 

It's pretty crazy that people here are telling you that you have a depression. Come on man, most people in their teens/twentys ask themselves what to do with their lives.

My advice is to try not worry about it, things will fall into place eventually. Keep having fun and stay positive.