What can I do better.

[Magic Arrow]

Hi guys.

This is another song I'm working on atm. The first verse has been recorded with my home mic. I was just wondering what I could do better. The lyric video is below.


[YOUTUBE]VCuYaM_RSoI[/YOUTUBE]

I'm looking for thoughts and criticisms. Please take a minute to tell me what you think.

Much love.

 

[surj]

flows not tight enough and you're slurring a lot of your lines

technical aspect: the mic you're using is bad and the sound quality is suffering.

 

[Magic Arrow]

Thanks champ, anything/anybody else

 

[Aggravation]

you need some better sound quality and better lyrics

 

The content and progression is good, just need to work on the flow of the lyrics... other than that, spot on ^_^

 

[Mmshadow]

ye the flow really needs something done.

 

[Magic Arrow]

So tighten the flow, and better sound quality. Got it. Anything else.

 

[nodnarbusn]

quit trying to sound like eminem man, find your own voice the lyrics arent bad and neither is the flow but the voice you are doing is very strained/unnatural sounding. not hating, just saying youll never be sucessful trying to sound like other people

 

[Magic Arrow]

quit trying to sound like eminem man, find your own voice the lyrics arent bad and neither is the flow but the voice you are doing is very strained/unnatural sounding. not hating, just saying youll never be sucessful trying to sound like other people

It is my natural voice, the quality is bad I think that's what makes it sound unnatural. I had a blocked nose too, so maybe that contributed.

P.S I was kinda doing it in a monotone voice without putting too much emotion into it.

But thanks for the rest of your post.

 

[AtTM]

you should totaly work on the flow, cause its always stucks and it ruins it, but its awsome.

if you need help recording or any thing talk to me

 

[Magic Arrow]

Thanks man ill redo this when I have time then re-upload.

 

[Shall Skill]

Put some emotion into it. The lyrics are great and should be pretty easy to put strong emotion into

 

[Magic Arrow]

Yeah it was night and the family was asleep had to keep as quiet as possible. Was just practising it an thought I'd put up a sample and get feedback.

 

[i do dew]

make it flow a bit better and it would be sick!

 

[the_dealer]

I quite like it. The melody is simplistic, and memorable, yet not overbearing on the actual rap.

The lyrics were good, and there was some clever phrasing within your song.

The only thing I can fault is the performance of it, and the execution, but most of it has been explained and pointed it out.
Good job ^^

 

[Market Sales]

nice song, but i dont know much about creating songs XD gl

 

[Magic Arrow]

My problem is I don't know how to record properly...and my mic sucks balls. If I put too much emotions in it there's a lot of static for some reason. Anybody got tips?

 

[JohnK]

you sound like a grime rapper.

all i can think of is better recording. what are you using atm?

 

[Magic Arrow]

I'm using a USB condensor microphone. It's called the Samson C01u. It's a decent mic, but the USB recording makes it sound shit. I don't have an amplifier either.

 

[Magic Arrow]

bumpy