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Oh My God.

 

Laugh Of Loud

 

Bluffing.

 

^ Spam forum ban please.

 

^ This.

 

Cool..

 

Cool..

 

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee276/Spray-GFX/10/alteranz.png

 

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...0/alteranz.png

 

Logical Scientist





Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.








The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit








Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.








Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.








Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!













The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet.








On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.








Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.










Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?







Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession







Dave: - Oh? What's that then?





Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?




Dave: - Er .... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!





Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?




Dave: - It's in a pond!





Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?




Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.




Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?




Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house .... built it myself!




Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? And with a family?




Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.




Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?




Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!




Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?




Dave: - Do what? Not me, mate!




Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!




Dave: - How's that then?




Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!




Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive. Thanks mate!









Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.









Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?




Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!




Stuart: - What's that then?




Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?




Stuart: - Nope




Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker !

 

I need to pee but...

 

1.7m views thats sick

 

One word, can make a grown man cry. You may ask what this word is, I'm here to tell you

*not for the faint of heart*

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

 

Lol'd!

 

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'

 

That joke was brilliant....
But you're such a fuck. Hahaha

 

Lol, I don't get it, is he saying the kiwi had sex with a sheep?

 

I've invented a remote control that makes your wife do whatever you want her to.

I call it a baseball bat.

 

Yes lol...

 

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