[Topical] Ryan vs Unb4nn3d

Topic: Love Is Gone
Bar count: 8 bars / 16 lines
Due Date: Right Now!
Votes to win: 5

Format:

There will be no poll, you have to post with that format in order for your vote to be counted.

Thanks,

Ryan

 

Here's mine.

 

My verse:

 

You may vote now. Please use the form listed in the OP.

 

Can't anyone ever rhyme more than two sentences?
Look up immortal technique, he can rhyme like the whole entire verses you just did.
No offence, but my friend thinks all of you guys are shit, that he can freestyle 10x better stuff. But i can't convince him to join the forums.

Anyway i'd have to go with Ryan. Unbanned's was good, but, the rhymes just seemed forced if you understand what i mean? And i don't listen to much rap so i don't know the technical terms for anything, hence why i just call it rhymes. And Ryan's seemed to have more emotion, like i see what sort of emotion Unbanned was portraying, but Ryan's just seemed to come across so much stronger.

Flow: Ryan
Central Idea: I'd say even.
Creativity:Unbanned (Ryan's was rather mainstream)
Emotion: Ryan
Multies: No idea what that means.
Overall: Ryan

 

Flow: Unb4nn3d (I love that style of flow, fast and fluent)
Central Idea: This has to be equal as the idea is the same
Creativity: Unb4nn3d, I like that kind of rap (fast and fluent)
Emotion: Ryan
Multies: Unb4nn3d
Overall: Unb4nn3d

Both of them were very good, and I think you both should write a song together.

 

Template = ew. What are we supposed to do with it - 1/10 for each? Comments? Simply Ryan/Unb4nn3d?

Anyway, I have to vote for Ryan overall as well. The flow is much more developed; Unb4nn3d, the rhymes are too forced - lyin and dyin, now and Ciao; you can tell the lyrics were weaved for the rhyme. Instead of just choosing two words and trying to end lines with them, pay attention to the syllable count of each line, and don't shy away from half rhymes - they'll make it sound more natural anyway.

Ryan, there seems to be a contradiction in yours though - you say "I don't know who's to blame," but throughout the rest of it, you clearly blame her. Love the last two lines though.

 

Multies is exactly what you said, rhyming several of the same word. I know what you're saying but it's not always the best option. Forcing rhymes together sounds bad, so I'd rather steer clear from it, but I do multi sometimes.

Thanks for voting ^_^

Thanks for voting ^_^ I can see the contradiction, but I wrote it in < 30 mins, so mistakes are bound to happen xD

 

Don't know much about rap so I'm not sure how much my vote means but:

Flow: Ryan
Central Idea: Unb4nn3d
Creativity: Unb4nn3d
Emotion: Ryan
Multies: Ryan
Overall: Ryan

Ryan's just seemed smoother and more connected, if that makes sense.

 

Yea, that's fine. Thanks for voting

 

We all gonna be like Drake now? Reminiscing bout stupid shit.

Flow: Ryan
Creativity: Ryan
Emotion: Ryan
Multies: Ryan
Overall:Ryan

DYLAN DYLAN DYLAN, RYLAN RYLAN RYLAN

I just wish the topic was realer.

 

Flow: Unb4nn3d
Central Idea: Ryan
Creativity: Unb4nn3d
Emotion: Ryan
Multies: Ryan
Overall: Ryan

 

Flow: unb4nn3d
Central Idea: Unb4nn3d
Creativity: Unb4nn3d
Emotion: unb4nn3d
Multies: unb4nn3d
Overall: unb4nn3d