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The Guide To Life.

darkbow k0 u

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The guide to life!​

This is a quick Index of what you will learn:
  • Nutrition
  • Karma
  • Friends
  • Fitness
  • How to have manners
  • How to be yourself
  • Girls
  • Conclusion
​


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Chapter 1 Nutrition​

To live your life fully without unexpected happenings of health causing illnesses nutrition can be a very good prevention.
One thing that has to be watched out for is food borne illnesses.
Food Borne Illnesses can be bacteria growing on food or not being seperated correctly from other food. For Instance, Lets say you put meat a big juicy steak with a nice ol' red apple. This could put pathogens on your food and get you very sick!!!
Take a look at this Food Pyramid to look at your daily servings.​

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Your probably saying yah right that is what I have to eat every day?!?!?! Yes but no... In 2008 we as humans have something called daily supplements!!!! No not Vikiden Ambien or Menapause..but things that give you your daily nutritional needs in life.

Here is a daily supplement I use!!!

​
Once again these supplements have mostly all your needs and energy you need to get through your day. You also can take Pills for Veggies fruits hell and even Fats!!!
Try to stay away from coke!!! Only drink maybe once a week if not at all. Cranberry juice is your friend!!!



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Make sure you steer clear of dented canned foods!!! The reason things that are canned last longer is because there are no seams and its tight. If it is dented there could be slit somewhere and bacteria would be waiting for your stupidity!

Also make sure to get home in a hurry with frozen goods don't stop by game stop or your local porn store to waste time when your milk could be souring!


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Chapter 2 Karma​

No matter what religion you have there will always be karma! Karma is when you do something bad and it comes right back around and hits you in the ass unexpectedly!!!


Lets say you stole this dudes 80gig Zune mp3 player and you feel so happy and you go home put you illegal music on it and listen to it all night long.
Then the next day your computer suddenly has a short circuit and it dies forever and cant be fixed...or one of these where I know alot of you relate to is scamming on this website... when you come on here and scam you sum lil gps and then something bad happens to you back like a ban or someone coming to your house to kick your ass..
​


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Seriously watch out for it because it could ruin your life!!!

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Chapter 3 Friends​

Oh my favorite one..Mostly what some people need these days..Your never going to find the perfect friend, but thats just life.. Theres always going to be disagreements or one who has a different thought or political reasoning then another.
The definition of a friend cited from :
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Friend
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
–verb (used with object)
6. Rare. to befriend.
—Idiom
7. make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to.


As you can see there is nothing in there saying the perfect person... Dont be picky about your friends or you just won't have any at all..just be yourself as seen how to do in CH. 6


​

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Chapter 4 Fitness​

First of all since were close to summer and I am guessing most of the users on sythe are teens and go to highschool lets start off with running.
You school must have a cross country team.
I dont care if your fat tall and skinny or gay anyone can do mileage period.
Since its the summer most cross country teams have a summer workout.
Coaches welcome anyone to go running with them on trail runs etc. Go for a run start off with an easy 20 minutes your first week then build up 5 minutes each week. Sooner then you know it you will break 6 minute miles easily... Every 2 days of running lift or do some kind of lifting excerise like pushups and situps or weights if you have acces to them. Try to get down about 30 squat thrust jumps after running 20 pushups 20 situps and you will feel the burn!!!
Of course after working out like this for a couple weeks you will feel fit and feel like you can kick someones ass but dont overestimate yourself!
Make sure you stay disciplined with your workout routine you will feel some days like "Oh I will just workout tomorrow". No no you won't... You will be an epic failure!!! Make sure to run Not just lift and jackoff that does nothing for you. You must work your whole body!!! Steroids are not in the question because they strengthen your muscles faster then your bones can handle and can cause you serious injury and there illegal and give you a small dick!



​


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Chapter 5 How to have manners​

This is one of the most important chapters because this is what can piss people off and give you friends/girls at all!

1. Mouth Closed When Eating
2. Dont scrape your teeth against your fork
3. Elbows off the table
4. Yes ma'am no ma'am yes sir no sir
5. Don't act like king kong at the dinner table
6. Be polite say please and thank you
7. Don't make little saliva sounds that seem to piss people the fuck off.
8. Be cool.


That basically sums it up for manners =/


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Chapter 6 How to be yourself​

This is a pretty common topic because alot of people try to fit in with things.. I have heard things alot in life when people make up stupid shit to fit in with other people..
For instance lets say you saw UFC the other night and was talking about it with one of your buds and your like "Whoa I have never seen a Knockout like that before!!!". Then you buds like well one time I beat this kids ass because he kept messing with me and he was real big and I was in karate for 10 years and I beat his ass". NO STFU! Dumb piece of shit! This makes people not wanna be your friend when you try to fit in when your already "in". Lying doesn't get you friends being yourself does.
I can really stress to you what it is like to be yourself, but when you are around people just relax have a normal conversation and ACT yourself if you are gay act gay if your laid back act laid back etc..



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Chapter 6 Girls​

Where do I start hmm.
If you are one of those guys who sit back and wait for the girls to come to you and they never do then you basically need to get something immediately you cant live your life waiting for things to come to you especially girls.. I know theres some guys on here that go up to girls and act all shy and say Oh hey you can use my pencil... Dont be a lil fuckin bitch.. Just say no sorry dont got one... Play a little hard to get *nudge*.. Don't bring a damn cake to school or flowers the first time you see a chick you like and definately dont ask her out over email!
When a girl looks at you in class and you dont know if she likes you.. Then thats where fear kicks in to where you dont know if you should ask her out or not?? Then your head starts to tell you "Nah she doesnt like me I just wont ask her out". NO don't do that then one day she will see you picking your nose and she wont like you anymore or find some other guy to look at.. instead of your gayass face..
If there is grass on the field play ball!
DON'T BE SHY!
One thing most girls hate is quietness if a girl talks alot and you just sit there and listen to it and don't talk back your going to be a horrible date..
Bieng scared to makeout: One thing newbies are scared to do... Kiss..
I remember my first time my lips were shaking because I was a dumbass... Learn from my dumb mistakes relax and go with it or you will just make a fool of yourself dont slobber on her face and do stupid shit that you see in movies..
Remember your not getting sex on your first date so keep your dick in your pants and don't explain to her about your MMORPGS she doesnt give a shit and she will call you a faggot!


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Conclusion​
I know what your going to say after reading this.. I can't tell you how to live your life..I can only inform you of some things you should have heads up for and basically all of the challenges I have faced in only 17 years of my life -.- Please learn from these things. Thanks for reading and please post comments!!!
 
Its a joke, What can I say.
People might find use for it, especially the diet part with all these e-nerd.
 
Well I had to put humor in it or noone would be interested the whole way through the guide. Its not all jokes some is fact XD
 
:D I'd never use my time writing this anyway i prefer money instead of life / girls / time
 
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Funny as shit... :O... My life will now be great due to this guide. Well, it was super but it made my life go to hell and went down to great. :P
 
This is a pathetic guide and you did this all out of mockery. Most of this is incorrect and you dont know shit about anything.

You encourage people to take vitamin supplements but say no to coke? Coke isnt BAD, its got caffine which helps to boost metabolism and its not like it kills the kidneys like supplements.

How to have manners, "be cool" >.>

You treat friends and girls as if they were items. They ARENT ITEMS. They are actual people. Giving the definition of friend is about as helpful as telling us that most people on sythe are in high school.

A section on how to be "ourselves"? Thats just more mockery, and its stupid if you dont know how to be yourself. You obviously dont know the definition of "being yourself" then.

This guide is rediculous, and we dont need this stuff here.
 
This is a pathetic guide and you did this all out of mockery. Most of this is incorrect and you dont know shit about anything.

You encourage people to take vitamin supplements but say no to coke? Coke isnt BAD, its got caffine which helps to boost metabolism and its not like it kills the kidneys like supplements.

How to have manners, "be cool" >.>

You treat friends and girls as if they were items. They ARENT ITEMS. They are actual people. Giving the definition of friend is about as helpful as telling us that most people on sythe are in high school.

A section on how to be "ourselves"? Thats just more mockery, and its stupid if you dont know how to be yourself. You obviously dont know the definition of "being yourself" then.

This guide is ridiculous, and we don't need this stuff here.

Lmao and apparently you cant read conclusions very well now can you.
I hate when people think they know what they are talking about..

People can live without coke in there life.. The source of caffeine in coke is not a need to your body.. Excpecially if you drink diet coke its even worse..
Diet drinks have a form of aspartame wich is another form of fake sugar..
Sugar doesn't help the body in any way unless it is natural period.
What aspartame does is it makes it to where your nuerons cant function with your body making you do things slower.. Reaction time with things and can harm you mentally.
Cokes also have something called ethylene glycol in them wich is made from an ingredient in anti-freeze and is basically known as a poison if taken to much in.. Coke also has High acidities wich can harm your body..
The acidity of cokes are about 3.4 wich can dissolve body parts if taken too much in over time.

Why dont you do your research before arguing with someone who KNOWS what they are talking about before you make a mockery of yourself.
I haven't touched a coke in 2 full years and have reached a pretty high peak in my fitness in Cross Country.. Please don't argue about something that I will out argue with you any time and don't waste your life taking jokes anally get over it.
 
lol nice guide to life, runescapers don't have good manners
 
Lol, A long guide man!
Though it is really useless:p
I don't think someone will ever need it ^^
 
Lmao and apparently you cant read conclusions very well now can you.
I hate when people think they know what they are talking about..

People can live without coke in there life.. The source of caffeine in coke is not a need to your body.. Excpecially if you drink diet coke its even worse..
Diet drinks have a form of aspartame wich is another form of fake sugar..
Sugar doesn't help the body in any way unless it is natural period.
What aspartame does is it makes it to where your nuerons cant function with your body making you do things slower.. Reaction time with things and can harm you mentally.
Cokes also have something called ethylene glycol in them wich is made from an ingredient in anti-freeze and is basically known as a poison if taken to much in.. Coke also has High acidities wich can harm your body..
The acidity of cokes are about 3.4 wich can dissolve body parts if taken too much in over time.

Why dont you do your research before arguing with someone who KNOWS what they are talking about before you make a mockery of yourself.
I haven't touched a coke in 2 full years and have reached a pretty high peak in my fitness in Cross Country.. Please don't argue about something that I will out argue with you any time and don't waste your life taking jokes anally get over it.

Those factors are mere small factors, and coke and many other soft drinks are not life threatening, and can say are as bad as supplements are. You think you know all this fancy stuff? Oh, I can go google all the stuff I want, look at me, supplements are bad because of all these fancy words!

http://www.sportsguidemag.com/archive/Oct04/TrainFit-supplements.asp
 
gj on that dude, gimmi a bj?
 
What is the point of all this? ....I don't get it, is someone supposed to read this and change their life? Lol, life's pointless, god doesn't exist, boohoo.
 
haha i liked it a lot.. even though i do have to agree with macroman it was a joke. I liked the girl part how u said keep your dick in your pants lmao. I am usually one of those guys who isnt really sure about girls lol, but i guess u did clear some things up lol.
 
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