The Bible (short version)

[varrasbelve]

Old Testament:
God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).


Then later, God gets super pissed about Pharoah Hitler pwnin the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.


Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.



New Testament:
God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some porn.


Later, Jesus became a hard core ska pink and trolled the old school Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit restart on his rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.


After that 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

olol?

 

[ssylass]

get rid of this bullshit

 

[varrasbelve]

Yea, I know, the Bible is bullshit.

 

[LegitNamesCo]

I lol'd..

 

[rs nechryeal]

I love you or something

 

[MegaMatt]

hahaha

 

[deadzone]

olol?

Complete truths ftw!

 

[syrianska]

of with this bullshit

 

[wowhamba]

 

[kinglo]

Yea, I know, the Bible is bullshit.

Look, giving your little pathetic version of the bible is fine, but what gives you the right to say the Bible is Bs?

 

[purple ak-47]

Look, giving your little pathetic version of the bible is fine, but what gives you the right to say the Bible is Bs?

freedom of fucking internet online foruym speech ya dig boi 305 opaloca hood ya dig boy dont vcome round this uuurea again ya dig

 

[kinglo]

freedom of fucking internet online foruym speech ya dig boi 305 opaloca hood ya dig boy dont vcome round this uuurea again ya dig

I usally prevent from saying this but... Fuck off and learn to type English and then come back? Freedom of Internet? WHAT THE HELL IS FREEDOM OF FUCKING INTERNET?!!!!!!!!

 

[purple ak-47]

I usally prevent from saying this but... Fuck off and learn to type English and then come back? Freedom of Internet? WHAT THE HELL IS FREEDOM OF FUCKING INTERNET?!!!!!!!!

it means i can call you a poonany mofaka short jammer, twit titty AND GET AWAY WITH IT

btw enjoy the spam forum ya feel me

 

[wowhamba]

I usally prevent from saying this but... Fuck off and learn to type English and then come back? Freedom of Internet? WHAT THE HELL IS FREEDOM OF FUCKING INTERNET?!!!!!!!!

Freedom of speech.

Even if not that, you can say and post whatever you want on the internet and normally get away with it.

Go away newfag. Bible is bullshit, religion is bullshit.

 

[kinglo]

it means i can call you a poonany mofaka short jammer, twit titty AND GET AWAY WITH IT

btw enjoy the spam forum ya feel me

Yeah ok dude go eat a donky dick.. You and womba or what eva the fuck his name is. You bunch of aethiest fucks.

 

[wowhamba]

Yeah ok dude go eat a donky dick.. You and womba or what eva the fuck his name is. You bunch of aethiest fucks.

tsk tsk.. I don't think Jesus would be happy with your behavior.

Also, happy 2 infraction points.

 

[jake__]

I usally prevent from saying this but... Fuck off and learn to type English and then come back? Freedom of Internet? WHAT THE HELL IS FREEDOM OF FUCKING INTERNET?!!!!!!!!

Trolled hard.



This has already been posted, numerous times... I've posted it twice at least...

 

[purple ak-47]

Yeah ok dude go eat a donky dick.. You and womba or what eva the fuck his name is. You bunch of aethiest fucks.

dont hate the player... hate the game

but in this case hate the bible

I saw a bible once with titties it was drawn titties but still

so porn bible

lol

shit ill be back when im not pui

posting under influence

 

[kinglo]

tsk tsk.. I don't think Jesus would be happy with your behavior.

Also, happy 2 infraction points.

You know, id like to say the same for you but, you dont follow anything, you have no morals, no ethics, infact i dont think you have a life. You on the other hand are a waste of sperm.

Like i care for infractions? You would think that the mods would ban you and every other dumbass who spreads hatespeech about Christianity for no reason, but you would be suprised.

 

[kinglo]

dont hate the player... hate the game

but in this case hate the bible

I saw a bible once with titties it was drawn titties but still

so porn bible

lol

shit ill be back when im not pui

posting under influence

I dont think it was a bible. I think you should go to sleep or something, and stop being such a waste of air.