Spending my birthday alone

My 18th birthday today has made me realise how much of a social failure ive always been. im not sure why i chose to spend my birthday alone and why i didnt go out with friends and i dont even know if i have social anxiety. the year before i only had 2 friends who went out to the cinema with me and i felt like shit when they asked me wher my other friends were. i stopped going out to parties at 13 and it really sucks having to spent your birthday alone with nothing to do but runescape and once i get off runescape i feel ever more guilty for wasting so many hours and having achieved nothing. no one in school today wished me or anything and its a confusing state of emtions for me im not sure if im sad or happy or anything its just i feel too empty and worthless. anyone else here had the same situation?

 

Well, I grew up with 6 older sisters and a brother 13 years older than me. So most of my childhood, I spent with my sisters. My brother was off in college doing his own stuff. I feel like I am more sensitive towards others then most of my friends, due to my experience with my sisters. I am the youngest. Also, my parents are highly educated and restrict me from drinking or partying. So I do feel lonely sometimes. And my family hates my gaming addiction. But they don't know how I feel. I mean, I was lonely as a kid, so Runescape was there for me. I'm sure theres people who can relate.

 

Definitely sounds like depression.
Trust me you are not alone.

I would suggest talking to your counselor at school.
Trust me, you need to talk to someone. Leaving and ignoring this will just prolong this and in the end you will have wished you dealt with it soon, because the more time you let go buy, the harder to bounce back it will be. Believe me, I would know. Wish I knew about depression back in highschool. I just bottled up shit in, and now Im really messed up.

Please talk to someone and you will get through this.

 

Your definitely correct there, spending your 18th alone is a MAJOR indicator something is wrong. Hitting 18th is a huge thing here in the UK and greatly celebrated with parties, clubbing, gatherings etc.

Its good you've started Step 1 and realised you have a social problem, this is not a negative thing, its good because now you can start moving forward.

Id highly recommend you stop playing Runescape, because of 2 main principles:

1.) Your right it inflicts guilt for achieving nothing via wasting countless hours working on it, when at the end of the day, its a video game.
2.) All those hours you spend grinding, you could be socialising with friends and family, or perhaps a girlfriend and be MUCH more happier and healthier.

When you quit Runescape or at least vastly cutdown on game time, you'll suddenly find you have all this spare time on your hands you never had before, don't use this time being bored, get in contact with friends and arrange stuff, going park, town, hanging out at each other houses, or pub/clubbing now your 18.

You won't be able to simply jump straight into this with a social anxiety but take it one step at a time, as you become more confident and comfortable.

 

I agree with Arto, I mean I spent my 21st birthday at Bandido's with my mom and dad and my Fiance at the time.. lol

But it sounds like depression which being in that situation, i understand why. You need someone to talk to. Sometimes a pixel screen just isn't good enough.. But really think about a councilor.. it might give you a 180 turnaround!