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She constantly gives me mixed signals?

The Ract

The Ract

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So I've been crushing on my best friend for the probably 1-2 years now. We've hooked up a few times, mostly drunk, but the last time we did it was sober and ever since then my feelings for her have been so intensified. Also, just to clarify, we haven't hooked up while she's been in a relationship, however she's still talked to me how I describe below while she has been in it.

She got a boyfriend who just got outta jail but apparently she loves him or some shit, but she really confuses me. We're extremely close, so we talk about everything with each other, but over the past month it's been a lot more sexual than it has been. Like she's gone into graphic detail about us fucking and how she thinks about it to masturbate sometimes.. She'll ask me if I jack off about her and when and it's just really confusing to me. I want to be with her, but I don't know if I should tell her how much stronger my feelings have gotten.

She knows I have feelings for her, but in the past she said she doesn't want to lose our current friendship, because honestly we're really close and open and i'm one of the only people she's comfortable with.

What should I do?
 
Wow, I've been in this situation before. Right now it sucks to say but you're her "side" just simply have sex with her, she wants you and you have feelings. She will begin getting feels after both of you sleep together. You guys are best friends so she's used to you being a best friend so stop acting like it and own up to your feelings and tell her. Don't stand there just as a friend anymore. Tell her you want something with her.. If she says no then tell her to just try it out 1 day and see how it is.. If she says yes then it's a yes bro lol
 
cinddywavves said:
Wow, I've been in this situation before. Right now it sucks to say but you're her "side" just simply have sex with her, she wants you and you have feelings. She will begin getting feels after both of you sleep together. You guys are best friends so she's used to you being a best friend so stop acting like it and own up to your feelings and tell her. Don't stand there just as a friend anymore. Tell her you want something with her.. If she says no then tell her to just try it out 1 day and see how it is.. If she says yes then it's a yes bro lol
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I want to tell her how strong they've been lately.. I just don't know the line between sweet and nice and too strong / creepy. All I think about is her, and she keeps me up at night. I honestly feel like I'm in love with her. I know i'm not yet since I haven't been in relationship with her, but it's what it feels like. I just don't want to come off too strong.

Also she has a boyfriend right now.. I feel like she'd pick him over me as far as a relationship goes :/
 
In and out of jail or not, she's completely cheating on her boyfriend when you hook up with her? If that's the case, she doesn't seem ready for any committed relationship, including the one she's in.

You may want to try talking to her about what's going on casually. You may freak her out a little with an "I think I love you" or something because she doesn't seem too exclusive with anyone.
 
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I agree with Luke, if shes like getting so close with you while she has a boyfriend, it really shows shes not committed to serious relationships. So if u get into 1 with her, it might happen to you as well. Gl finding your path tho :)
 
She's playing you, if she's giving you these signs when she has a boyfriend, then she's trying to cause trouble
 
You said she didn't cheat on her boyfriend? And yet you're telling us she's asking you if you masturbate to her? No bud, that's cheating. It's even worse then physical cheating, are you so naive to think she wouldn't do that to you?

Come on, find a real girl if you have real feelings. Keep her as a friend/fuckbuddy because you WILL be let down and she WILL be gone. Don't try to lock down someone who's not ready, if you think you can magically change her then good luck but the above will come true.

Source: I did this, this is my past. Don't do it, it leaves you jaded as fuck.
 
Ow 3 Hit said:
You said she didn't cheat on her boyfriend? And yet you're telling us she's asking you if you masturbate to her? No bud, that's cheating. It's even worse then physical cheating, are you so naive to think she wouldn't do that to you?

Come on, find a real girl if you have real feelings. Keep her as a friend/fuckbuddy because you WILL be let down and she WILL be gone. Don't try to lock down someone who's not ready, if you think you can magically change her then good luck but the above will come true.

Source: I did this, this is my past. Don't do it, it leaves you jaded as fuck.
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I understand all that, and I've been thinking a lot. I go to college a few hours away and I don't really want a long distance relationship regardless. I'd love to have her as a fuck buddy though, and she even said when I asked her if we'd do anything when she was single and she said we'd probably fuck.. so. I guess I'll see how that goes.

I just wish she was single.
 
She wants to see how you react.

If you're alpha enough and show it, then she'll go with you.
If you continue to beta out with your "feelings," then she'll go for her current boyfriend.

You either take this opportunity and her to bed, or you find another woman.
 
SexayMistahBee said:
She wants to see how you react.

If you're alpha enough and show it, then she'll go with you.
If you continue to beta out with your "feelings," then she'll go for her current boyfriend.

You either take this opportunity and her to bed, or you find another woman.
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The only thing is I feel like she'll choose her current boyfriend over me regardless. And then she'll have to tell him what I said and what not, and that might end up causing stress on their relationship, which would make her unhappy and possibly mad at me. Plus, I leave for my spring semester in a week and a half and only gonna see her once or twice. Is it a bad idea to wait out her and her boyfriend? (They live like an hour from each other and hardly see each other, so I don't think it'll last)
 
The Ract said:
The only thing is I feel like she'll choose her current boyfriend over me regardless. And then she'll have to tell him what I said and what not, and that might end up causing stress on their relationship, which would make her unhappy and possibly mad at me. Plus, I leave for my spring semester in a week and a half and only gonna see her once or twice. Is it a bad idea to wait out her and her boyfriend? (They live like an hour from each other and hardly see each other, so I don't think it'll last)
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The three components of a relationship are emotion, sexuality and relationship. Guys get friendzoned because they've got the E and R, but no s; the girl doesn't look at them as a man. (note: sexuality doesn't always have to involve intercourse; it's whatever makes a woman look at a guy as a man. You know what I mean)

You've talked with her about sexual subjects, and she says that she masturbates to you. No doubt that you've got the ESR
If she didn't have a boyfriend, no doubt that she would have gone out with you without second thoughts.
You're either going to tell her that she should be your girlfriend, or live the rest of your life regretting the fact that you pussied out at a potential chance.

Waiting for them to broke up worked for me but I think that in your case, it would be too late.
I'm suggesting that you take action now
 
SexayMistahBee said:
The three components of a relationship are emotion, sexuality and relationship. Guys get friendzoned because they've got the E and R, but no s; the girl doesn't look at them as a man. (note: sexuality doesn't always have to involve intercourse; it's whatever makes a woman look at a guy as a man. You know what I mean)

You've talked with her about sexual subjects, and she says that she masturbates to you. No doubt that you've got the ESR
If she didn't have a boyfriend, no doubt that she would have gone out with you without second thoughts.
You're either going to tell her that she should be your girlfriend, or live the rest of your life upset at the fact that you pussied out at a potential chance.
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That... Makes a lot of sense. And I'm not gonna be seeing her again until either March or May, so even If she does get mad or upset or anything like that, it'll give her a long time to cool off. Thanks man, wish me luck.
 
The Ract said:
That... Makes a lot of sense. And I'm not gonna be seeing her again until either March or May, so even If she does get mad or upset or anything like that, it'll give her a long time to cool off. Thanks man, wish me luck.
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Good luck man, hope you will do great. Please keep us updated!
 
Shes trouble man...my buddy told me wayyy back when "They leave you how you get them".

If she's talking all that craziness to you while she has a dude, she'll end up doing the same to you. Don't think she wouldn't do it to you, old habits die hard. Speaking from experience...same exact scenario happened to me, ended up finally pulling the robbery on her Boyfriend, 3 or 4 months later she bounced on me for someone else haha.

Don't get too attached, and have your fun while it lasts is my best advice!
 
The Ract said:
I understand all that, and I've been thinking a lot. I go to college a few hours away and I don't really want a long distance relationship regardless. I'd love to have her as a fuck buddy though, and she even said when I asked her if we'd do anything when she was single and she said we'd probably fuck.. so. I guess I'll see how that goes.

I just wish she was single.
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Then tell her that, "I wish you were single."

That's all that needs to be said, if you don't want a relationship with her which is what I feel this talk trickled down too...

Then sweet, good for you. Someone to rail when you're bored, or someone to talk too. What will be cool, is if way down the road she's changed you'll be there to catch the girl that deserves to be caught.
 
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