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Shame.

T R 1 B A L

Grand Master

Retired Sectional Moderator
Joined
Jun 27, 2007
Sythe Gold
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2,726
Location
North London.
I hang my head with shame,
for i know your wish came true,
But where would i even be,
If it wasn't for you,

You told me that you loved me,
It was a claim that i believed,
A hope, that lived inside of me,
hoping to break free.

But then, the truth was told,
And your love seemed so sublime,
your glowing figure in my arms,
holding you the very last time.
​
..

(only sublime seemed to fit, don't ask...)
 
But then, the truth was told,
And your love seemed so sublime,
your glowing figure in my arms,
holding you the last time.

On the last line put a "very" before last, I think it would make it sound not only better, but would add to the dramatic effect.
 
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