Seeing a good friends chick/ex gf

[OrangeCounty]

So basically it went down like this: a guy who I've been friends with for several years has been feuding with his chick for the last two years. They both got heavy into doing blow and drinking heavily- during the day and all night every night. I admit I partied with them more than I should have, but after about 6 months his girl started making advances on me.

Normally in this situation you'd think she's just some homie hopping cokehead. However; she's been with him for 8 years and he's the first person and only person she'd ever been with and they've lived together for 6+ years.

We started seeing each other behind his back until she came out and told him which I encouraged her to do if she really hated him as much as she claimed.

Me being the sucker I am, I convinced myself I could help her get off the booze and Coke. That was two months ago. They still have a place together along with her younger sister and mom, but he's now dating other women and her and I are seeing each other regularly. Neither of us has dipped back into the blow for 2+ months and have switched to wine, but she still gets drunk regularly as do I.

I know I fucked over a friend, but from her account they've been fighting daily for two years, additionally he's cheated on her multiple times. I must also add that I've known her as long as I've known him and I ignored her advances until she came right out and told me she wanted to break it off with him and start seeing me.

To top it off, I'm moving in the next 6 months to go to a new college and she's about to graduate from a nearby college and start her career.

Do we keep seeing each other until we have to part ways?

 

[ShipTheFlip]

You didn't tell us the reason you're considering splitting unless I missed a part. Is it the college thing or is it the friend?

Sounds like you both know how to have fun, why not keep having fun for a couple months. Sounds like a sweet deal to me, the beginning stages of the relationship are the best part and you have an excuse to bail when it's time

 

[Fingy]

Part ways...if she's going to make a move on her "bfs" close friend, you don't need the heartache of being in college wondering what she's doing/is she being faithful and you yourself will be in college, have fun.

 

[OrangeCounty]

You didn't tell us the reason you're considering splitting unless I missed a part. Is it the college thing or is it the friend?

Sounds like you both know how to have fun, why not keep having fun for a couple months. Sounds like a sweet deal to me, the beginning stages of the relationship are the best part and you have an excuse to bail when it's time

Well she goes back and forth about it a lot because she knows I'm leaving soon. She gets attached because I'm only the second person she's ever been with even though she's 26

 

Switch her to a FWB or stop seeing her. You need to examine your drinking also, drinking in excess isn't a problem persay but rather it's your attempt at solving an underlying problem. Addiction will never solve a problem. You'll need to contemplate and work constructively on bettering yourself and addressing your issue and in doing so your life will improve drastically. Do you exercise regularly? If not, start.

Don't invest in trying to fix someone. She's not a special snowflake. There's only billions of other chicks out there, ones that don't have addictions. She's also cheated with you which means she's definitely willing to cheat on you monkey branching onto another relationship. Massive red flags dude.

 

[OrangeCounty]

Switch her to a FWB or stop seeing her. You need to examine your drinking also, drinking in excess isn't a problem persay but rather it's your attempt at solving an underlying problem. Addiction will never solve a problem. You'll need to contemplate and work constructively on bettering yourself and addressing your issue and in doing so your life will improve drastically. Do you exercise regularly? If not, start.

Don't invest in trying to fix someone. She's not a special snowflake. There's only billions of other chicks out there, ones that don't have addictions. She's also cheated with you which means she's definitely willing to cheat on you monkey branching onto another relationship. Massive red flags dude.

I get you but I figure it like this; I'm going to be going to either UCLA or Berkeley. Tons of beautiful, educated women everywhere. Worst comes to worst I end up picking up a new snowflake after I move

 

I get you but I figure it like this; I'm going to be going to either UCLA or Berkeley. Tons of beautiful, educated women everywhere. Worst comes to worst I end up picking up a new snowflake after I move

To get in a serious relationship with someone you have to be perfectly fine on your own and so do they for it to be healthy. You have shit to work out. Why not use this 6 month period as a time to clean yourself up so you're ready to make the most of uni from the get go.

 

[Dave]

I get you but I figure it like this; I'm going to be going to either UCLA or Berkeley. Tons of beautiful, educated women everywhere. Worst comes to worst I end up picking up a new snowflake after I move

If you go to UCLA in search of beautiful women, join a frat. It'll be damn near impossible to find said beautiful women if you don't.

Ps. Congratulations on either acceptance, message me if you have any questions about either school or the classes you should take.

 

[MrRob]

Honestly I think you should simply discuss this with her. If she is someone you want in your life then pursue this. But if it some passing fling then let it be that. You should simply say something like, " what are we trying to be?" If you know there is no avenue for anything more than just being her steady that keeps her from getting back into blow then I would also say you need to cut ties.