I know that high school isn't supposed to be easy, but it also isn't supposed to be impossible. I did fine freshman year, A's & high B's like usual. With sophomore year, it's a bit harder than I had anticipated; I got an A, a C, and 2 D's first semester. It's passing in the eyes of grading but B- is failing to me. I'm in all AP core classes, I always have been since they've been offered and I don't want to shift into regular grade-level classes. I feel as though it won't do me any good applying to Stanford, Harvard, etc. (hard universities to get in, typically). Second semester started once we got back from Christmas break (January 7th). Again, with AP classes, it's going to be hard; it's expected. Although, I'm doing worse in the classes that should be the easier of the bunch. English class. Well, we were required to remember Jabberwocky (poem) for an assignment and to recite it for a grade. I couldn't remember it at all, only the first two lines of the first stanza. I got a zero in the gradebook and still had a B. Now, we're required to remember another poem of our choice from a certain site the teacher referred us to. I've been trying to remember my poem for a week and I can't even remember the first line and it's due Monday.
After my dad got done yelling at me today, I talked to my mom. I've been telling her about how stressed and worried I've been about school and how the classes have taken a toll on me. Well, after the first semester, she said she thinks I have a learning "disability" because I cannot retain almost anything even if I study. That word doesn't seem like it should be for me. In AP World History, I learn the stuff but I can't remember anything unless I see it on paper with multiple choice (aka a quiz/test) and I learn a lot slower than the entire class (every core class I've had). I got a 72 on a quiz the first week to see where the class stood or whatever and everyone else got 90+.
I honestly feel stupid and that I won't get anywhere in life with the way that things are going. My mom wants to take me to a doctor but kids get misdiagnosed with ADHD, ADD, and stuff like that all too often. I don't want a fucking diagnostic.
I don't even know the point of this post, I guess I just needed to get my thinking straight and have it jotted down somewhere.
After my dad got done yelling at me today, I talked to my mom. I've been telling her about how stressed and worried I've been about school and how the classes have taken a toll on me. Well, after the first semester, she said she thinks I have a learning "disability" because I cannot retain almost anything even if I study. That word doesn't seem like it should be for me. In AP World History, I learn the stuff but I can't remember anything unless I see it on paper with multiple choice (aka a quiz/test) and I learn a lot slower than the entire class (every core class I've had). I got a 72 on a quiz the first week to see where the class stood or whatever and everyone else got 90+.
I honestly feel stupid and that I won't get anywhere in life with the way that things are going. My mom wants to take me to a doctor but kids get misdiagnosed with ADHD, ADD, and stuff like that all too often. I don't want a fucking diagnostic.
I don't even know the point of this post, I guess I just needed to get my thinking straight and have it jotted down somewhere.





























