I was very amazed by reading this, the fact that, you pretty much felt death, but you pushed it away. I'm not religious at all, but if there is a god, he gave you another chance. Confidence? Hell, look at the pros of this, when you try and pick up girls you can say something to make them realize you're glad to be alive and they will like you better because of the confidence you have.
(Its 2 in the morning and I'm tired as hell, but I felt like the need to comment, you are extrememly lucky, I wish you the best)