I've taken the opportunity to make a more elaborate version of the Nine Satanic Statements, to avoid confusion and to kill off any possible ignorant who thinks Anton LaVey's version of Satanism is about perversity and evil.
It only confirmed perversion... and possibly evil. But I don't find it very relevant, I'm trying to dispute the logical flaws.
And
ignorant is an adjective, not a noun, fyi.
Anton LaVey's code of Satanism is NOT about worshipping the Devil or Satan - it's about worshipping yourself. Your body is a holy temple, and you reject the hypocrisy of religions. In the Satanic plea, you may NOT harm children, infants or innocent humans - you may only kill in defence or for survival.
Your body is a temple? Where is that coming from?
And they may not worship Satan, but they follow everything they think he stands for... so it's not very different.
And speaking of religious hypocrisy, what about your next statement? Why can you not harm innocent people/children? Personally, I'm fairly curious about the insides of infants' bodies. What's wrong with performing some kind of vivisection on a live infant to indulge in my curiosities, as I should be able to under the nine satanic statements?
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!
Another simple one, maybe you're all familiar with, "Do unto those as you'd wish them to do unto you", this is pretty much the opposite, respect those who respect you and have proven to be worthy of one's respect.
Why respect anyone? Doesn't make sense... what do they have to do with you? Unless you're referring to a self-deceitful pipe dream hope of friendly relations to be received in return by such actions. But of course, Satanism is against such things. Or wait... I'm confused.
5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!
Someone gets in your way, attacks you whatever... Annihilate them in return. A code of ethics that most people tend to follow when provoked. (Even Christians)
Most people follow? Don't make things up.
Countless people agree that "eye for an eye" doesn't solve anything, but many probably still follow it. I wouldn't say it was evident that most people do, however.
Through self-deception humans seem to have forgotten that we are indeed just animals...
No, it's through a belief in God and the Bible (where it says man is to have dominion over animals). I certainly hope you agree that not all believers of such came to their conclusion through self-deceit.
Very true statement, only the human animal is capable of waging war, mass murder and such, animals only kill for survival but we are somewhat sadistic in killing.
Yes, add that to the list of the practically infinite number of things humans can do that animals cannot.
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
Wrath is one of the seven deadly sins. It is synonymous with severe hatred, yet Satan also supports kindness to those that deserve it. Essentially making Satan only a supporter of things conditionally convenient.
Would Satan then be a supporter of irrational hatred of all black people (as opposed to my rational hatred of them

)? And do not such things lead to murder? And did you not say Satanism was against the murder of innocence? Try not to
self-indulge in your lying, even if just for a minute or two... I'd like to actually understand this instead of getting mislead by false representation :/
9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!
We all know this last statement is true, without the threat of brimstone and eternal damnation, the Church would be a cult instead of a world-wide religion.
Wait... this is referring to the Christian "church"? How is that even relevant? The 10 commandments do truly look divine compared to this unorganized nonsense.
Funny how Christianity has a history of rape, murder, violence, genocide, infanticide, homophobia, sexism, intollerance of other religious groups, "witch"-burning, animal sacrifice, etc. Hell, even Adolf Hitler was a Christian, and he is responsible for the murder of 5 million jews, 250.000+ soldiers, and 6 million humans of other ethnic origins than white.
Christians murder, so therefore Christianity condones murder.
My conclusion is brief: