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My time has come

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Although I have no idea who you are and what you take, your avatar suggests to me that that maybe the substances you take could be adding to your depression. MDMA has been proven to cause depression and should NEVER be taken when you are depressed or frequently. Try straightening out all the bad habits which affect you then starting fresh. Easier said then done, but think of 5 years ago were you not happen then? In 5 more you will be in a better situation glad that you struggled through and pushed on despite your depression. Good luck, remember you can't undo suicide but you CAN improve your life.
 
neo coolboy said:
Although I have no idea who you are and what you take, your avatar suggests to me that that maybe the substances you take could be adding to your depression. MDMA has been proven to cause depression and should NEVER be taken when you are depressed or frequently. Try straightening out all the bad habits which affect you then starting fresh. Easier said then done, but think of 5 years ago were you not happen then? In 5 more you will be in a better situation glad that you struggled through and pushed on despite your depression. Good luck, remember you can't undo suicide but you CAN improve your life.
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Thanks man, i only have been doing in every few months. It has never been to escape reality like some people use it for, more of a euphoric state and meeting new people really. I have told my councilor about my usage and she suggested that at the moment it is fine as long as i'm not going on binges. I know what you mean it really is easier said that done, its going to be a long road to recovery and i am hoping i can make it
 
Believe in yourself. We all believe in you, you will be recovered once you start thinking yourself. If you need any assistance, like I mentioned earlier, feel free to PM me or add [email protected]

We can talk hours :)
 
Glad to see you didn't go through with it, and hopefully the support on this thread has helped you.
 
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Gohan has AIDS
Lawrence
Out of the millions and millions of sperm, you were the one to get in your mother's egg.

You were chosen for a reason, and you are not worthless. You are a champion. A winner.

Keep your head up!
 
Pretty fucked up right now, this happened saturday night at a party

Well let me set up what happened for you. Last night at a party with my girlfriend of six months(has been raped before). I told her i would never leave her side at this party and i broke the promise when she asked to go to the toilet, i asked her two times and she said she would be fine.

After about 10 minutes of her going i began to worry and my friend said i wasnt keeping the time properly and she just left us. so after a little while i said where is she she should be back. we went down to the toilet to have no trace of her at all we checked the dance floor, the fires and the cars(incase she was cheating on me). After that we had no trace of her again and decided to take it to the owners of the place to track down where she was. I was hanging back a little bit expecting her to be cheating on me and ready to leave and get the fuck out of there. I was sitting down and when my mate came up and told me she was raped, she was there in just her tights with nothing else on crying to herself.

The moment i was told i fell to the ground crying, and my breathing became really short and i felt like i was going to pass out and shaking all of my body kind of like a seizure but i was still aware of what i was doing. I began to start hitting my head agaisnt the ground in hope to wake up because i could feel nothing at the time i thought i would just wake up and get out of this hell i was in.

After i managed to calm myself down i went to the car where we drove to the hospital where she was treated (i was not aloud in) but her two friends where. When i saw her at the enterance all i said was i am sorry(i was speechless) i began crying and not showing her my face because i felt so bad. After this time we were transfered to another hospital where i was made to wait outside for 2 hours, when she was realeased she didnt want to talk to me or give me eye contact i just felt to empty inside. While i was waiting i saw i man which i had once met before for some reason i put my head to his chest and began to weep and hold onto him as tight as i could just because it made me feel like i was holding her or even just touching someone else made me emational, the harder i held him to worse i felt but i couldnt stop doing it.

We were taken home expecting them all to come home later but she was kept and her mum was asked to pick her up, i pretty much have had no sleep and she has deleted her facebook (no longer in a relationship? so facebook says) her mobile has been turned off and i rang her home phone which was on the answering machine, she has not said a word to me which i can't fucking deal with al all im not sure what is going on. This has happened twice i feel like i have failed i feel like i dont deserve to be here, i feel like it is my time, i cant deal with this stress i just don't think this world was meant for me. I am going to see friends because if i am alone i KNOW i will do something stupid please help me
 
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Easter 2014
I would try to reconsider the antidepressants, maybe give them a try? Even if you just have one to take as a PRN. I have xanax prescribed as PRN and it can help a lot at times, and take welbutrin and celexa daily. I deal with a lot of this stuff too, mainly anxiety, but a lot of anxiety meds and antidepressants are the same. I also work at an adult foster care home for adults with special needs, mainly paranoid schizophrenia, but we deal with a lot of different problems as well. If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to send me a message.
 
thanks guys, i have reached out to a lot of my friends recently to help me get through such a tough time. I am yet to sleep in my own bed just because of the memories surounding it makes me feel sick sinde
 
Skyline GTR said:
Pretty fucked up right now, this happened saturday night at a party

Well let me set up what happened for you. Last night at a party with my girlfriend of six months(has been raped before). I told her i would never leave her side at this party and i broke the promise when she asked to go to the toilet, i asked her two times and she said she would be fine.

After about 10 minutes of her going i began to worry and my friend said i wasnt keeping the time properly and she just left us. so after a little while i said where is she she should be back. we went down to the toilet to have no trace of her at all we checked the dance floor, the fires and the cars(incase she was cheating on me). After that we had no trace of her again and decided to take it to the owners of the place to track down where she was. I was hanging back a little bit expecting her to be cheating on me and ready to leave and get the fuck out of there. I was sitting down and when my mate came up and told me she was raped, she was there in just her tights with nothing else on crying to herself.

The moment i was told i fell to the ground crying, and my breathing became really short and i felt like i was going to pass out and shaking all of my body kind of like a seizure but i was still aware of what i was doing. I began to start hitting my head agaisnt the ground in hope to wake up because i could feel nothing at the time i thought i would just wake up and get out of this hell i was in.

After i managed to calm myself down i went to the car where we drove to the hospital where she was treated (i was not aloud in) but her two friends where. When i saw her at the enterance all i said was i am sorry(i was speechless) i began crying and not showing her my face because i felt so bad. After this time we were transfered to another hospital where i was made to wait outside for 2 hours, when she was realeased she didnt want to talk to me or give me eye contact i just felt to empty inside. While i was waiting i saw i man which i had once met before for some reason i put my head to his chest and began to weep and hold onto him as tight as i could just because it made me feel like i was holding her or even just touching someone else made me emational, the harder i held him to worse i felt but i couldnt stop doing it.

We were taken home expecting them all to come home later but she was kept and her mum was asked to pick her up, i pretty much have had no sleep and she has deleted her facebook (no longer in a relationship? so facebook says) her mobile has been turned off and i rang her home phone which was on the answering machine, she has not said a word to me which i can't fucking deal with al all im not sure what is going on. This has happened twice i feel like i have failed i feel like i dont deserve to be here, i feel like it is my time, i cant deal with this stress i just don't think this world was meant for me. I am going to see friends because if i am alone i KNOW i will do something stupid please help me
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Fuck man. The world is fucked up right now, but you need to be strong. Like you said, find solace in your friends, because they'll be there to help you.

You need to give your girlfriend time, but definitely let her know that you are there, and that you're ready to welcome her back with open arms. Right now, what she needs is reassurance, as well as yourself, it seems.

Stay strong, try and keep your anxiety levels to a minimum, and pray for the best. Good luck man. Please keep updating the thread!!
 
Skyline GTR said:
thanks guys, i have reached out to a lot of my friends recently to help me get through such a tough time. I am yet to sleep in my own bed just because of the memories surounding it makes me feel sick sinde
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Just make you sure you don't give up. That is good. Do whatever you can to get through it. Glad to see you are still staying strong.
 
I have stress issues to from genetics but remember that everyday brings on new opportunity, and i would hate to see you end your life just like that, move somewere new try something new find something that makes you happy and live life. For all we know this could be it.
 
Seriously, what the fuck is your problem just get the fuck out of there dont be a wuss. Move a house stop using drugs get a job dont get a girlfriend take a break of this shit seriously.
 
Kevin T said:
Seriously, what the fuck is your problem just get the fuck out of there dont be a wuss. Move a house stop using drugs get a job dont get a girlfriend take a break of this shit seriously.
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Hey dumbshit ban evader, go die.
Skyline always a pm away
 
Welcome to the cycle of life, my friend.

As they say, 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary phase'

Before you do anything silly, hear me out -- anger, sadness and excitement are all a powerful combination of emotions which consequently alter the conscience from thinking clearly or rationally, for that matter. Thus making us commit deeds of stupid shit. Once you've passed this phase of anguish and depression, begin to change your day-to-day life; do something that you have never done before - but remember to take it in baby-steps or else you'll crawl back into your little hell hole of despair and cry yourself a river.

I've been there and done this. It takes time. Time is a great healer.
 
just a bit of an update for you guys, life seems to be going alright i guess. Still having amazing times in my life meeting heaps of people. I am going for a world record in powerlifting in the coming weeks woooo! At the same time life is fucking shit i am still having huge downs in my life and still struggle with them, i may be diagnosed with diabetes type 1 and if i am its going to im really not sure how it will affect my sporting career, my girlfriend at the moment may have something wrong with her organs....:(
 
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You are doing great so far. I suggest you keep powering through.

It's like you're lifting a weight right now - you're in the middle of getting it up past your shoulder. The bad parts and pain will slow down in the course of time.

Talk with your doctor about the diabetes (if you get properly diagnosed). Support your girlfriend as well.

It may not mean much to you coming from a total stranger, but I'm proud of you.
 
Friends last forever. You find the right people to take your mind off things and you'll be okay. It's always tough seeing someone go through abuse like that, I grew up seeing my step-father beat my mother. It's never easy, everyone has issues, but we try and communicate with each other. You should just feel comfortable that you CAN talk to someone about it whenever you want (ie. counselor, friends, etc.).
 
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