Leaving Toronto

A bit of backstory:

So i just went through a tough breakup. I started dating this girl like 3 years ago and we've been through our up and downs. About a year ago we moved in together, we developed an incredibly close and almost codependent friendship as well as a relationship. She was literally my only friend.
I ended up moving away from her. This is where it all started to go down. I don't know why i guess i just didn't like the idea of spending every single day with everyone. This was not personal as i really enjoy my time alone sometimes.

Long story short. She took it personal, started talking to her ex behind my back for a couple months and broke up with me recently. Don't know if she cheated on me but i did catch her messaging this kid a couple of times.

It's only been 1 and a half months since we broke up and today she just let me know that she's gonna date her ex. (thanks for that)
This kinda puts my self esteem down because the guy is definitely not attractive, is a college dropout wannabe DJ. I seriously don't understand why.

But whatever i don't wanna make this about her.

I'm currently living in Toronto. I studied my whole degree here all alone, i just finished it. No family or friends to support me right now. I made some friends from school but it seems like people here don't care about other people. She was literally the only person i could always count on.

Anyways, i'm starting to think i might leave Canada for good. It's harder for me to get a job here and everything is quite expensive. I am nothing from buying a one way plane ticket back to Mexico City where all my friends and family are. I know that getting a job is going to be easier for me there as I am first world educated and there's a big demand for competent IT professionals.

Also, i hate winter here.

I seek advice people of Sythe. Should i leave?

 

I'm really sorry about your girlfriend man, I hope you find someone better for you although next time maybe try and communicate better with the person.

As for leaving Toronto it seems like you really hate it and that's not good. I say if you have the time and ability to move and you are for sure it's the right choice, then 100% get moving! If you have any thing that might be hindering you, ask if that's really worth staying.

 

It's the part of me that still loves her wanting to stay and wait for another chance.
And yeah i can move, for what i pay for rent here i could afford a room in a penthouse there.

 

If your waiting for her then like the old saying goes "If it was meant to be, you'll find each other again" and idk about u, but I'd looove a penthouse

 

Seems more like you're answering your own question with a small hope of someone telling you to stay.

From your post, you should work on your mental health as well as working on yourself. This isn't a shot at you, rather based on your description of your girlfriend being "the only person you can count on" which was most likely taking away experiences of making lifelong friends to where you wouldn't be in this predicament of a break-up causing a life changing event such as moving country to country. In situations as such, you have to remind yourself you're the most important person and that self-development trumps all. Break-ups suck initially, but it's what you do afterwards that defines you.

Plus if you hate the winter Canada isn't the place to be haha. Hope the best bud.

 

Sorry to hear about the girl but as I always say, there are others out there and if she was the one, she'd still be around. Sometimes people are just lessons. Honestly, go where the wind takes you. If you don't like where you're at and you feel like the people there aren't that great AND you've completed your degree, there's really no reason for you to stay. Venture outwards where it's financially capable for you and find yourself a better environment to live in, both emotionally and physically. Maybe you'd feel better without going through months of crappy winter weather - seasonal depression is a thing, revolving around holidays and the weather itself. Starting anew can also be a very good thing, meeting new people and finding new regular places to shop at. Move to a place that is known for something specific that you'd enjoy. Just research it, save some money, and go.

 

Thanks Charlotte,

I think that right now the best thing for me is to be around people that genuinely care for me, it's just that feeling of letting go of this place and all the memories i had around that was holding me back.

Either way i just bought my ticket. Au revoir Toronto

 

Crazy amounts of respect for you man. I know its tough, you're going to come out of this much more satisfied and stronger though.

 

If you end up giving Toronto another shot after spending time with your family, shoot me a pm and I'll buy you a coffee sometime.

 

If u need a friend feel free to pm me

 

Looks like I saw this a little too late, I was in a similar situation albeit living in Australia originally from the UK.

Moved home due to breaking up with a long term partner, cost of living being ridiculous, not having many friends and generally feeling isolated.

Now I'm back in the UK I'm missing Australia, and just trapped in a cycle of doing not much.

Your close enough to home for a holiday so I would definitely suggest going home for a few weeks seeing all your family and friends again and then giving Canada another shot.

I presume the jobs are higher paying in Canada, the experience you gain will be better and if you decide it's not for you a year or two down the line, move home/to the US when you have the Work Experience and are a lot more attractive in the eyes of an employer.

 

It's not too late. I gotta come back for my graduation so what you suggest is exactly what I will do. Thank you

 

Didn't know you lived here Bogla! I gotta come back for my convocation so i'll for sure hit you up. Thanks bud

 

Ontario sucks. Lived in Canada for my first 13 yrs. Come to the states man. A new environment could be really healthy especially if you've been there your whole life.

Just know that a lot of your problems will follow you.

Also don't fucking go back to her. I'm in a similar position and dated a literal sociopath for 2 years. It's an addiction and you have to go cold turkey man. You'll feel lonely, and want to go back to how it was when it was 'easy'. It's not worth it.

 

After reading this , as a female it's kind of sad because girls that run back to their ex it's just because they don't care about the other person's feelings at all.
You seem like a GREAT guy , and you obviously still love her , But she obviously doesn't deserve you if she can run back to her "WANNABE DJ" ex so fast.

I think you should buy a one way ticket , and go somewhere that has people you can depend on to show you love and give you good advice , because after all , you do deserve that.

 

I was dating the queen of daddy issues unfortunately.

 

Thanks man I appreciate your advice. What part of the states are you living in? I've always wanted to move to LA.

 

come to california , you can stay with me

 

Sorry to hear about your situation with your girl, but it happens to the best of us sadly. You live, and you learn, and you try to move on and become a better version of yourself. Do you like living in Toronto though? Assuming you said you have little to no friends/family, then obviously it's probably not as glamorous as for you. If there's no business opportunities down their either, and everyone you talk to is in Mexico City, then I'd probably give it a go, and see if you can make anything happen down there since you would have more connections through relatives, and friends down there. On the topic of no family/friends to support you... I know that feeling man, especially when I had to move at a young age. It was like my parents, and brother/sister, and I had no one aside from that. I wouldn't put your head down though, you seem like a very nice guy, and just because you don't go out as much, or don't have as many friends as anyone else doesn't make you worse. Some of us just prefer to be introverts, and if she can't accept you for who you are, then that's her problem.

 

Hey man - talked to you about this awhile back (the day it happened) I really hope all is well. Please feel free to message me if you need anything