From a novel by Orlovitz,
"Love is not interpretation; love is not sensing another's agony, nor feeling it; love is compelling the object of one's love to do as he wants that object to do whether that object be agonized or gratified; love is not caring for the object of one's love's agony or gratification, an utterness of not caring; to love is to get one's pleasure out of the loveobject; love is ruthlessness."
I would say that love
sometimes is all of those things. Not always.
Love is far more complex than what Hollywood would have us believe (it's interesting that Orlovitz wrote Hollywood screenplays; go figure...)
In a sense, love involves what you've called codependence; it involves trusting someone to bear the weight of your life, with all the pain and pleasure there experienced. It also involves accepting the possibility that there are parts of your life that can't be shared - no matter how much you may want to. Maybe there lies the crux of the problem: you're must constantly figure out what can and cannot be shared. From there at least proceed countless questions and difficulties.
It's hard to say precisely what love is, in part because it means different things to different people. In my experience it's a very delicate thing, easily lost and desperately sought.
Try thinking about, not so much that you
need a relationship, but why you
want one at all. It may be that in order to be with someone else you first must learn a lot about yourself.
If you meet someone with whom you can be brutally honest about your fears and desires, it may be a good sign
.
