Life's too soft? Makes me weak?

I posted a thread here " Fear of Rejection " a few days ago.

I realised i fear rejection and failure. I hate failing in things that i enjoy doing, and hate losing to others in something i value alot.

I fear to try.

I think i know the root of the problem, which is my life being too soft. From young i basically got whatever i wanted. The reason my phone's 5 years old is because i don't want a new replacement. If i wanted it, my parents would probably have given it to me.

I grown up in an easy and soft environment, and i'm too used to people ( parents ) getting me what i want.

It seems that that is the reason which is causing me problems now. I can't take hardship and my mind's really weak and lousy. Im in the cross country team and i find it really hard to push harder, and in an event of a race, if the person i want to beat overtakes me, i just give up, totally.

Im too spoilt i suppose, sigh.

I really dont know how to solve this and be stronger. I can't be this pampered weakling for the rest of my life can i?

Im not indenpendant at all and pretty useless . what should i do? i really hope i can go out there alone and experience the harsh reality so at least i can learn a thing or two, but im asian and our culture is very different from you people.

Any suggestions????

 

Well, first off let me say I'm suprised you were asian and raised this way. There are a lot of people like you, raised in a household where they are pampered. To be honest, it can go either way. Obviously, the first step to solving a problem is admitting your deficiencies. Your already on the right track bud.

Like you, I get frusted easily too like when someone beats me at something I'm good at. I believe that's just our competative nature. I don't think that's really anything to worry about. Also, if you want to learn how to be stronger, just challenge yourself. Set small, achievable goals which have a certain level of difficulty.

Really the mind is a wonderful thing and you can train it to do pretty much anything, you just have to know how. Like I said, I'd start setting small goals for yourself.

Tell your parents you don't want to be pampered anymore, it will be hard to do, but you'll be thankful when your out on your own.

If all else fails, join the military . But really, this is something many teenagers go through, you'll snap out of it over time most likely, and you'll definitely become stronger if you put effort into it.

 

Try looking/interacting with people who are less fortunate than you are, for many it's a big wakeup call; for others it'll just pass to them as "that's them; I'm fortunate" ego trip; hopefully you'll fall into the minority former.

I must say I'm surprised that you're Asian and your parents haven't enforced strong work ethic on you (though I see Asians typically fall on either extremes of the spectrum). I myself struggle with motivation many times and have given up on countless endeavours due to sheer lack of motivation and being like you said 'a weakling' which I'm trying conscientiously to conquer.

 

You should try taking up martial arts, this will teach you discipline, you should get your butt kicked from time to time but I think it will help you with this problem.

 

Yeah, sometimes thursting your self into very tought situations will work.

However, that can sometimes backfire and make you not want to be motivated (or thrust in to those positions again).

One thing with motivation is that you need to feel good about yourself. Sometimes you feel "tired" or "worn down" and you really want a day of rest. So you'll sit around watch TV, ect. BTW, this is something that I fall into a lot. Basically, the "tired" feeling can sometimes be mistaken for the "lack of achievement feeling." If you go out and achieve things (get a job, do good on your homework, ect) you will start to feel better about yourself, which only makes you more motivated.

Again, this is something most of us probably do, I do it A LOT.

 

I'm the same way dude. I'm 18 and the point in my life where I need to actually do something with it is fast approaching. All I can suggest is take baby steps, go out of your way to do small things in your daily life that you can benefit from and wouldn't usually do. Some examples of this would be handing out resumes to get a job, doing a small work out, making and eating a healthy meal. Take things one step at a time and you'll feel good about yourself, and you'll find the motivation.

 

Sounds like you just need some independence, you should try finding a job so you can get into the real world for a little while, or you could actually tell your parents to go a little harder on you (might sound strange but I'm sure they'd understand you want independence of your own).

 

I think what you should do is start hanging out with a group of friends and, from personal experience you all try to be better than each other and you work and work to try to become the best. It's all in good humor and very motivating.

 

Come on man you got nothing to lose

Just try your best and give it a go and you will be better of then if you hadn't started at all