Le Marijuana Drug Test

[ilovegold69]

So i'm going to be working for a school district in a little while and I don't know whether or not I am going to be required to take a drug test. This isn't one of those overnight cure questions as I have a little while before I am tested. I used to be an almost daily smoker but have since stopped (a few days ago). My question is what are some long(ish) term things I can do to expedite the process of cleaning my system? I don't know whether or not i would pass but I assume that if i planned ahead correctly it would help a lot.

Thanks!

I did a little poking around on the internet and basically what i found was that exercise and redbull were the way to go. There were others as well but I honestly don't believe most of them.

 

[Xier0]

Lots of water and do exercise.

 

[LindseyDaBlender]

Drink a lot of water, that is basically all i know for this case.

 

[TikiTakaGold]

Don't touch for a while while at your job

 

[nodnarbusn]

You WILL be tested. Taking niacin is supposed to quicken up detox, try that and drink tons of water. If you pass the first one you are likely to never take one again. It may be worth it to buy a bottle of detox tbh.

What kind of work will you be doing?

 

[Emperor Nero]

Never tried it but I have heard that a glass of straight vinegar will clean you out.

 

[ilovegold69]

You WILL be tested. Taking niacin is supposed to quicken up detox, try that and drink tons of water. If you pass the first one you are likely to never take one again. It may be worth it to buy a bottle of detox tbh.

What kind of work will you be doing?

Teacher's aid type stuff

Never tried it but I have heard that a glass of straight vinegar will clean you out.

I read that as well... i'll try it i guess it couldn't be that bad

 

[Lean]

Drink water, eat fruit and exercise. THC metabolites are stored in your fat cells which is what a drug test would pick up, not actual THC.

 

[Margaretas]

Just drink water. Go to the toilet more.

 

[ilovegold69]

So I have been drinking a shit ton and I'm pissing like every other hour it's fucking insane... Is it the pissing that flushes it out or am I just overdoing it?

 

[Dimethyl]

I was on probation for several years, so I've taken a ton of drug tests and there really isn't much you can do. Detoxes, drinking vinegar, niacin is all bullshit and doesn't really work. Even exercise doesn't accomplish that much and drinking water isn't doing anything because THC is stored in your fat cells. There is only one thing that I know works and that's the dilution method.

Basically 4-6 hours before your drug test, start drinking water. Drink 2 glasses to start and then drink 1 every 30 minutes until your drug test. Your piss should be completely clear. If your piss is all water, then they are going to know something is up, so you also have to get some B2 vitamins, which will make your piss yellow. It has to be B2. B12 or a B-complex won't work and will just make it green. Sometimes it's hard to find B2 vitamins, so you might have to hit up a few places. Take them a few hours before your test. The final thing you might need to do is take some creatine the night before. You can take a creatinine supplement or eat a lot of red meat. Some drug tests might test your creatinine levels. Most don't, but if they send it to a lab, then they probably will. When you drink a lot of water, your levels go down and they can see if you tried to cheat it, so you need to get them back up. Don't take too many supplements though. You don't want it to be insanely high either. That's it really. Pretty simple. You're basically pissing water, but it'll be yellow, so they won't know shit.

Your other option is to buy a Whizzinator. Some of them are pretty expensive, but there are some cheap ones too. It's basically just a belt you strap around your waist with a rubber tube and a bag of fake piss. You also have to buy the heating packs. Sometimes they don't always work, so it's good to bring a backup. I wouldn't bother though if you're just going to get drug tested once.

Good luck. Do you know when you're getting tested? I have a very high metabolism and I've learned how long it takes for my body to get rid of THC. I've smoked every day for years at a time and it takes 10-14 days for me to get it out. Everyone's body is different though. My friend is smaller than me and exercises a lot and it takes him a month.

 

Lots of water and do exercise.

This^, back in the day i use to be a big stoner and when my football coach told us we were being tested the next day, I drank like 5 gallons of water and went super hard at practice. Passed the next day

 

[Lucien101]

So I have been drinking a shit ton and I'm pissing like every other hour it's fucking insane... Is it the pissing that flushes it out or am I just overdoing it?

Drinking tons of water only dilutes your urine.

Dilution of urine can mess up the amino acid test.

Nothing on gods green earth is going to make your body magically clean of THC.

Anybody that tries to sell you drinks or lotions or detoxes that claim they do, are scamming you of your hope and money.

Trust me, I have a friend in the military that took one of those detox drinks you can buy at your local smoke shop, and he said it didn't work and he was kicked out.

You could be overdoing it, be careful to not overdose on H2O. Yes you can die from drinking to much water.


Several factors play into whether or not you will past the test.

1. type of test (urine, blood, hair, etc)
2. quantity/quality of marijuana/THC concentration (consumed)
3. your body fat percentage
4. diet
5. metabolism
6. your current weight/height

You should pass the test within 4 to 28 days of last consumption.

 

[basics]

If you don't wanna stop, Detox is the best way to do it, i'm on probation for the 2nd time and i got off the first time by using detox kits, which can be a bit pricey, usually you have to pee a certain amount of times before it works, otherwise it will have instructions on it, but your best bet is just to go clean, its gonna be a bit tough at first, if you still wanna get high while working i recommend doing LSD, or shrooms, they don't come up in drug tests and LSD is an experience worth doing, that's because i have an addictive behavior, and it sounds like you do too. All Drinking tons of water will do is delude your urine which may not work everytime. I'd recommend finding something to replace cannabis, and don't get K2/Spice. Everyday cannabis use to none is very difficult to do. I wish you the best luck

 

[Animalistic]

Be careful with these niacin and water detoxes. Niacin will irritate the FUCK out of your skin, and you will itch like a crack fiend.

Drinking tons of water just before a drug test will cause you to piss imperfect urine, meaning the acidic levels of the urine aren't proper, and you'll likely be subject to a retest, or considered a failure by attempt to dilute the sample.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is stop smoking, because NOTHING ELSE is a 100% guarantee at all.

Source: Been on probation since I was 17, arrested for failing a drug test twice since then. After this last time I went to prison, I just cut all illicit substances whatsoever, because at 21, it's way too early in life to be making bad decisions, or in your case, there's no point in risking a job over it. Jobs are way too valuable right now.

 

[basics]

Be careful with these niacin and water detoxes. Niacin will irritate the FUCK out of your skin, and you will itch like a crack fiend.

Drinking tons of water just before a drug test will cause you to piss imperfect urine, meaning the acidic levels of the urine aren't proper, and you'll likely be subject to a retest, or considered a failure by attempt to dilute the sample.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is stop smoking, because NOTHING ELSE is a 100% guarantee at all.

Source: Been on probation since I was 17, arrested for failing a drug test twice since then. After this last time I went to prison, I just cut all illicit substances whatsoever, because at 21, it's way too early in life to be making bad decisions, or in your case, there's no point in risking a job over it. Jobs are way too valuable right now.

THIS RIGHT HERE ^^^

 

[Puhastusproff]

H2O will do its job.

 

[ilovegold69]

just to be clear i wasn't planning on continuing smoking marijuana (i assumed that was implied). I will buy a home test tomorrow and see where i stand. Wish me luck!

 

[Ruby]

Cranberry juice.
Exercise.
Potassium and Iron.
Red Bull.

Common misconception: URINATING DOES NOT DECREASE THE HALF LIFE OR AMOUNT OF THC IN YOUR SYSTEM, BUT MERELY DILUTES YOUR PEE IN ORDER TO DECREASE THE CONCENTRATION.
I have smoked weed for the better half of my life and have not once tested positive in a drug test. The secret is knowing beforehand when you're going to be tested in order to lay off the grass and begin the cleansing.

The half life of THC concentration is about 10 days. There is way too much variation to even approximate how long THC will be detected in the urine of an individual. Infrequent users with a fast metabolism will have the shortest detection time. Frequent or chronic users with a slow metabolism will have the longest detection times.

If you use marijuana on rare occasions, your urine may be clean of metabolites in less than a week. There is a common and strange phenomenon that occurs with chronic users. You would expect a chronic user to have the longest detection time and the smallest chance of passing. This is not always the case. A chronic user with a high tolerance may eliminate drugs as fast as an occasional user. Chronic users have tested negative after a week long binge. Fat tissue also makes a huge difference. Skinny users not only have a faster metabolism (usually), but also lack storage for THC metabolites. The more fat a person has, the more THC metabolites will be stored in the body and thus the longer the detection time is for a user.

Usage at 2-4 times per month 11-18 days
Usage at 2-4 times per week 23-35 days
Usage at 5-6 times per week 33-48 days
Daily Usage 49-63 days

you're welcome for life.

 

[Lorenzo]

Any update on where you stand. Also like they've said drinking water and exercise causes you to sweat and flushes your system.