OK, Just a little pinprick-There'll be no more-ah!
The Melty Man
*Warning, Do not proceed if you do not wish to become a follower of the melty man*
All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man. Do not speak his name, do not even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimension to do his work on your terrified pants. He is the arch-enemy of trouser confidence, Professor Moriarty in groin form, Darth Vader without the helmet.
Example A:
You're in bed with a woman, everything's going fine, that's when the melty man strikes.
Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored". Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck? Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead? Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once? Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time? She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to dry her neck? Should you kiss her now or does that mean you gotta start from the top again? Should you be making noises yet? Is it too soon to grunt?
And then, the killer - out of nowhere, for no reason you can think of, you call her "baby". You never called her baby before. You've never called anyone baby before. So why did you just call her baby? Suddenly you're starting to blush. Now, you're blushing AND you've got and erection. No-one's got enough blood! The engines cut. They can't take it!
Then the melty man hits you with his secret weapon. Just one single thought is placed in your mind at this crucial time: "Please God! Don't let me lose my erection!"
And I'm sure that now you wonder, how DO we have sex? That's very easy, you don't. Knowing of the melty man is being a follower of the melty man. And you're one of us now.
*Warning, Do not proceed if you do not wish to become a follower of the melty man*
All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man. Do not speak his name, do not even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimension to do his work on your terrified pants. He is the arch-enemy of trouser confidence, Professor Moriarty in groin form, Darth Vader without the helmet.
Example A:
You're in bed with a woman, everything's going fine, that's when the melty man strikes.
Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored". Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck? Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead? Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once? Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time? She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to dry her neck? Should you kiss her now or does that mean you gotta start from the top again? Should you be making noises yet? Is it too soon to grunt?
And then, the killer - out of nowhere, for no reason you can think of, you call her "baby". You never called her baby before. You've never called anyone baby before. So why did you just call her baby? Suddenly you're starting to blush. Now, you're blushing AND you've got and erection. No-one's got enough blood! The engines cut. They can't take it!
Then the melty man hits you with his secret weapon. Just one single thought is placed in your mind at this crucial time: "Please God! Don't let me lose my erection!"
And I'm sure that now you wonder, how DO we have sex? That's very easy, you don't. Knowing of the melty man is being a follower of the melty man. And you're one of us now.
