Jefe beats up unsuspecting whale as she tries to steal his pizza

Jefe · Oct 25, 2016

Today in the canteen I managed to snag the last piece of pepperoni pizza from the lunch lady, I blissfully walked on towards my seat as I heard the agonising groans from the disappointed hopefuls behind me.

However, to my surprise I was then approached by a large whale shaped female who had clearly had her eyes set upon the same slice I was about to indulge myself into, she didn't look happy.

The first words to exit out of her greasy chops were "Gimmie the pizza now Jefe."

I looked at her in utter amusement due the blasphemous statement she just tried to bespeak upon me, no words were relayed back to the wilder-beast, but I did sense a small surge of rage building up inside me.

With absolutely no warning I gracefully connected with 2 jabs to the creatures midsection, this followed by a swift uppercut to the chin that was able to rock the bitch unstable enough to ease myself into a spinning elbow to the temple, ultimately ending up with the oversized-yeti crashing to the ground in agony.

As a large crowd of on-lookers emerged, I knew I had to end her quickly and evacuate as I was now at risk of permanent suspension from college following my actions.

I rapidly climbed the canteen's un-stable counter and with my elbow primed and in position to connect with the Gruffalo's nasal area, launched myself off, it looked a bit something like this:

My elbow connected, completely shattering the bones of the area around the nose. There was a lot of noise, from the screaming females to the cheering males, I knew I had to exit, and fast.

I walked over to the table in which I had placed my pizza and decided to rest it upon the whale's forehead as she lay unconscious, I then found the nearest fire exit and swiftly left the scene without hesitation, I hope it was worth it.