How Should I deal with this?

[I Bleed Duke Blue]

So last year this girl befriended me, a fellow co-worker at school. Our job is already very stressful as it is campus security at night and the hours are 11:45 PM - 7:00 AM. Yes and then I go to class right after lol :nuts: .

But to keep this short and sweet, this co-worker basically fell in love with me but knew I was in love with my friend. My friend who I have talked about here before who in June took her own life after I paid for her rehab and such she regressed and took her own life.

She used her death as leverage to try and curry favor with me, and when I got angry with her for doing it I said I was going to "take my leave now" and deactivated facebook. Next thing I know the cops are knocking at my door at 1 AM saying that your friend feared for your safety blah blah blah. I told them I was fine but I was absolutely livid on the inside. These are the same f4993ing people I would call when my friend was ACTUALLY trying to kill herself and the cops wouldn't do shit.

Safe to say I haven't talked to my psychotic "friend" since. Now I have to sit next to her and work with her and I can't even look at her face. And shes trying to act all cheerful and it's pissing me off. But I need this job, and I don't know what to do ... just quit? I need this job to help pay for tuition with my dad, who is honestly a beast of a man. He pays for all of our college tuition with little help outside of scholarships we have earned. He gets up at 4 AM to go to work and comes home at 6-7 PM. He goes to China, South Carolina, and various other parts of the world in order for us to live an upper-middle class lifestyle (and paying for 8 kids college educations, yes 8! My dad got remarried after my biological mother died of breast cancer).

So you can see I don't wanna let my pops down, but you can also see this genuinely evil (in my opinion) person is working this job. This job is great pay though as I'm a supervisor, and I truly don't know what to do. Seeing this chicks face reminds me of the friend I lost every day, and that the cops came to my door on bullshit assertions and when I begged them to go save my friend ...they didn't .

 

[Boxur227]

Not entirely sure where to start with this so I'll just jump in.

Your hours are outrageous and quite frankly unacceptable. I can not imagine you're performing to the fullest of your ability in school with such a tiring schedule. That being said, i feel you owe it to your dad to excel as much as possible in your education. Obviously, having a job that keeps you up all night until your classes the next day is not allowing you to do that. It is evident you need a change.

I strongly recommend searching for a new job. Ask friends on campus, apply to multiple organizations, introduce yourself to new people, exhaust all of your options. Although it may not pay better now it would be wise to make a small present sacrifice for a future gain. However, if you choose not to do this you have to deal with this psycho until one of you decides to leave. You stated above you're the supervisor, i would recommend finding a reason to get her fired. You could also tell her how you really feel (although it may be more difficult to be around her once the truth is out).

Either way you're gonna have to make a sacrifice.

 

[I Bleed Duke Blue]

Not entirely sure where to start with this so I'll just jump in.

Your hours are outrageous and quite frankly unacceptable. I can not imagine you're performing to the fullest of your ability in school with such a tiring schedule. That being said, i feel you owe it to your dad to excel as much as possible in your education. Obviously, having a job that keeps you up all night until your classes the next day is not allowing you to do that. It is evident you need a change.

I strongly recommend searching for a new job. Ask friends on campus, apply to multiple organizations, introduce yourself to new people, exhaust all of your options. Although it may not pay better now it would be wise to make a small present sacrifice for a future gain. However, if you choose not to do this you have to deal with this psycho until one of you decides to leave. You stated above you're the supervisor, i would recommend finding a reason to get her fired. You could also tell her how you really feel (although it may be more difficult to be around her once the truth is out).

Either way you're gonna have to make a sacrifice.

The good news is, I am carrying a perfect 4.0 GPA after 3 years, even in the intensest of courses I have been able to get high marks, even with this job. I owe it to my father to work my ass off in the classroom, and that is not a priority I have strayed from. Though, grades aren't everything, this is a whole other side story but I do worry about finding employment post-graduation. It's not as "easy" as it once was, as internships and work experience are weighted super heavily, though I plan on rising up the ranks where my dad works (I too am an engineering major like he was).

The bad news it the towering tuition costs and the fact that you're right, I do have to make a sacrifice. I appreciate the wise & well thought out response. I think it may be time to leave the job, but I'm desperately trying to secure another one first.

Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it, you have no idea.

Edit: It's not every night that I'm working, probably 4/7 days a week. Normally. Which is still a ton

 

[Boxur227]

Depending on where you live I'm sure there are websites designated specifically for your area. I live in Michigan, we have michiganjobs [dot] something (have never used it personally). You can also use monster or other job websites throughout the country.

You could even put yourself in a pool for a temp agency (just to get something).

Through it all, i personally would go to the professor i have the best relationship with that is most relevant to my career path and explain my situation, perhaps he/she would have a solution to your problem. Introduce you to an employer or something along those lines.

 

[I Bleed Duke Blue]

Depending on where you live I'm sure there are websites designated specifically for your area. I live in Michigan, we have michiganjobs [dot] something (have never used it personally). You can also use monster or other job websites throughout the country.

You could even put yourself in a pool for a temp agency (just to get something).

Through it all, i personally would go to the professor i have the best relationship with that is most relevant to my career path and explain my situation, perhaps he/she would have a solution to your problem. Introduce you to an employer or something along those lines.

I've been doing that actually ^_^ . I have a professor whom I got the highest marks in his three most rigorous classes. He actually ran into me on the sidewalk the other day and told me that if I needed any help with my resume or a recommendation he would help me out. I have his office hours marked down and I plan on utilizing that for sure.

Funny you're in Michigan, small world. I'm thinking U of M for graduate school possibly. My main dilemma I'm just trying to solve is this job dilemma. I can't even look at this chick man, especially that I have come to the very chilling realization that she called the cops to mess with me, not out of genuine concern. I don't think this girl is right in the head...

 

[Boxur227]

I've been doing that actually ^_^ . I have a professor whom I got the highest marks in his three most rigorous classes. He actually ran into me on the sidewalk the other day and told me that if I needed any help with my resume or a recommendation he would help me out. I have his office hours marked down and I plan on utilizing that for sure.

Funny you're in Michigan, small world. I'm thinking U of M for graduate school possibly. My main dilemma I'm just trying to solve is this job dilemma. I can't even look at this chick man, especially that I have come to the very chilling realization that she called the cops to mess with me, not out of genuine concern. I don't think this girl is right in the head...

University of Michigan is a good school. Great medical program (although you're not going through that).

I know lots of people that went to Perdue university for engineering. I would look into that as well. The tuition would be a bit cheaper and possibly the same if not a better program.

If you're security, i would tend to stray as far away as possible from her and maintain minimal contact. I wouldn't give her any reasons to have an idea of socializing with me.

 

[I Bleed Duke Blue]

University of Michigan is a good school. Great medical program (although you're not going through that).

I know lots of people that went to Perdue university for engineering. I would look into that as well. The tuition would be a bit cheaper and possibly the same if not a better program.

If you're security, i would tend to stray as far away as possible from her and maintain minimal contact. I wouldn't give her any reasons to have an idea of socializing with me.

Already joyfully tried to converse with me, so it's pretty clear it's all a joke to her or she was trying to add even further stress upon me because she realized I would never reciprocate her feelings towards me onto her.

Yes!! I have thought about Purdue, maybe University of Pennsylvania (if I can get high enough marks + recommendations I can get money from them to study there, and both my parents graduated from there so possibly legacy could help add a little spice to my application). Michigan's engineering program is ranked among the best as well, but you're right, deep cost. My best course of action would be finding employment, in a real job, and then maybe considering graduate school. My dream scenario would be getting a TA gig at the college I am studying at post bachelor's degree...this is what my brother is doing and he could NOT be happier (and my dad couldn't be prouder of him). My biggest fear in life is not making it...because my father has dedicated much of his life to making mine comfortable and enjoyable. Sometimes I can't even sleep I'm so nervous thinking about the future. I just hope that in this day and age that I can make it...I hope my relentless drive and insatiable hunger for knowledge helps lead a path my dad can look back on and be proud...that's really all I care about. I'd be in a hole if it wasn't for my old man.

 

[Boxur227]

Regardless, out of state tuition is going to be extremely costly without a scholarship.

Some colleges (like Perdue) will pay to house you for a few months if you qualify for a specific program (i had a out of state friend do this). I'll look a bit more into that as my friend will be awake.

Your father will be proud. You do more than the average college student and I'm sure he acknowledges that. You've already got more to put on a resume than many others do, that helps. Take it slow and let things fall into place.

 

[I Bleed Duke Blue]

Regardless, out of state tuition is going to be extremely costly without a scholarship.

Some colleges (like Perdue) will pay to house you for a few months if you qualify for a specific program (i had a out of state friend do this). I'll look a bit more into that as my friend will be awake.

Your father will be proud. You do more than the average college student and I'm sure he acknowledges that. You've already got more to put on a resume than many others do, that helps. Take it slow and let things fall into place.

Well thanks for all the time you've given me tonight, I don't think you realize how much I needed it . I am actually from Pennsylvania, so I'd get the in-state cost, but it's still enormous, so I'd need them to give me money to go there, which is within the realm of possibility.

Either way, I'm sure I'll figure it out. That was actually an entirely different ball of wax. So you have helped me unwind and solve two of my biggest challenges in life. I wish you the best my friend. Thank you for helping me.


If anyone else wants to chime in with ideas, feel free. This personal support section restores my faith in humanity, Sythe has a lot of smart people and I'm proud to be a part of it. Thanks again Boxur

 

[Boxur227]

Well thanks for all the time you've given me tonight, I don't think you realize how much I needed it . I am actually from Pennsylvania, so I'd get the in-state cost, but it's still enormous, so I'd need them to give me money to go there, which is within the realm of possibility.

Either way, I'm sure I'll figure it out. That was actually an entirely different ball of wax. So you have helped me unwind and solve two of my biggest challenges in life. I wish you the best my friend. Thank you for helping me.


If anyone else wants to chime in with ideas, feel free. This personal support section restores my faith in humanity, Sythe has a lot of smart people and I'm proud to be a part of it. Thanks again Boxur

No problem, buddy.

Don't stress so much. Although the both of you work very hard you don't need to pay everything off right away. Student loans are designed to help for the current time (although they are a pain for the future). Don't worry about the cost of college when there are so many different ways designed to help you pay for tuition.