First Time - I Need Help

Hello. I am here for the first time to ask for some help, or to receive opinion(s) from others about what I should do, where I've gone wrong, and what kind of a person people really perceive me to be.

While on Sythe for the last 3 years, I've made a considerable amount of accomplishments. None were made at the expense of others, as I've always worked hard to earn that which I've received. After being denied for 2 OMM Applications, I finally received the rank on my third. I've amassed the amount of 350-400 vouches, but they have not been updated for a while. I've been a User Educator at least 4 times, but recently been denied the chance for unknown reasons, as well as Staff. I've been a Staff Member on Sythe twice, with my last term only lasting a month, which was 13 months ago. During that time, I was also a Super Mod for 4 months and an Administrator for 7 months on RSBot, while the domain was controlled by Qauters. In my last term as Staff, I stepped down from Administrator on the website to fulfill my duties on Sythe, as the website had become my home. I lost my position as the 1-month trial period had ended and my rank was chosen to be discontinued, most likely as the drama that became of it due to infractions I'd given to people in the spam forum.

For now, I'm having many problems. I need $10,000 to move to the United Kingdom so I can live with my girlfriend, but am having no luck at all in progressing towards this goal. My RuneScape Account had been threatened by leetpker on December 26th. He keeps trying to hack it, but continues to fail. My account was locked and I unlocked it yesterday. Then, today, it was locked again, and I am in the process of recovering my account again. It's hindering my ability to get things done, and holding me back from goals that I've set for myself just to feel good if I were to achieve them.
I feel as if I'm made out to be a criminal of some sort while on the website, due to the many people that attempt and have succeeded in holding me back. I don't know what it is those have against me, but I can't seem to achieve anything I want, as there is always someone standing in the way. I had wanted WoW Mod for quite some time, and with Verts motivating me, I finally decided to complete my guide and post it in the forums. Thereon, I've made continual contributions to the section, and helped out many people as I've always done. I am not angry that PureOwn has received the position as he is a friend, but I just continually question why I am denied such things time and time again. Please understand I am not here to complain, but am seeking help on what I should do.

For Christmas, I got nothing until just a bit ago. My parents ended up getting me a snuggie, but that was it. I'm happy to have gotten a present from them at least, but that's not what I expect from Christmas. I only wish to spend time with the family, and enjoy the day for it's reason of celebration: the birth of Jesus. I got this wish last night, however, as my sister and her husband came over, and we had a little family get together for a few hours. Also, on Christmas day, I had not received anything for the day, or calls from any family members, so I decided to try to make a present for myself by staking on RuneScape Classic. Someone with 10M ended up cleaning me for over 200M, so I felt like I had lost it all.

Guides I've created on Sythe:

• [Guide] The Largest Math Guide in History [/w MatterGor123] - Here
• [Guide] How to Verify PayPal - Send Money - Here
• [Guide] Paypal Creation and Usage - Here
• [Guide] When Selling An Account - Here
• [Guide] How Not to Spam - Here
• [Guide] Writing An Essay - Here
• [Guide] A Day in Paris - Here
• [Guide] Hunter 1-99 - Here
• [Guide] Myths of the White Lands [Christmas][Quest] - Here
• [Guide] Learning French Basics - Here
• [Guide] How to Play Minesweeper [Ex-UE] - Here
• [Guide] World of Warcraft - Here

Other notables:

• Only ever received 1 infraction point on 9-05-2009, as I was in a bad mood that day.
• When I was one time Staff, I removed Kamakazy Kid from the website for still trying to sell a patched guide.
• Helped get Deacon Frost unbanned while not Staff, as he was a huge asset to the website.

Basically, I'm coming to the point of depression, as I continually have helped people for years and years, but feel like I'm getting absolutely nothing in return. Yet, when I say that, I feel selfish, which is why I've not made a thread for so long. Listing some of my accomplishments may be unnecessary, and this thread is somewhat unorganized, but I had to find a way to ask for help somehow, before I make a decision on the website that I'll regret for a long time (thanks Bubba Fuzz).

 

Try taking a buddhist approach. It seems you always expect for something, and then fall short, leading to sadness. Nothing in life is a formula. Life is random, and you lose and gain things with out your control. Maybe if you stop trying to control things, and just flow with life, you will feel more satisfied.

About WoW mod: Just enjoy posting, continue making guides, and help others. But don't do that with WoW mod as your goal, do it because you like it. If the staff see your attitude change, perhaps you have a chance at WoW mod.

 

Stop. Living. On. The. Internet.

There is a huge world out there and you're obviously an intelligent person. Yesterday I applied for a job at a clothes store near my house where some of my friends work and I had my interview today. The job pays £6.50/hr with 5 hour shifts. That's £32.50 a shift, with the option of working two shifts.

My story is just an example and I'm earning the money to pay for my gap year which I've planned with a lot of friends of mine. That's just my take on it, everything you've stated is something to do with an online experience and your problem is far from online related - my two cents is just that you're not working anywhere near your full potential.

 

I do seem to expect for something, but only in continued work and dedication. It's much like working your hardest at a job for years to be promoted to manager, but someone else gets the position that you feel may be undeserving, but they've done just as much work if not more. I wouldn't say I'm trying to control things, because I'm not that kind of a person. I just hope to see that things are in check, and allow others to take control so long as the rules are followed.

I agree with this, but perhaps I've tried too hard (signature, user title, and avatar). I've changed my attitude for the better in many ways, but I can't' figure out yet what else needs to be done. From the few responses already I'm learning some, and thanks Sacro for your contribution(s).

There's never an end to the road ahead.

Wow. Congratulations.

I've actually wanted a job for a long time, and have spoken to many friends about this on numerous occasions. I don't think I'm trying my hardest to get one though, as I'm allowing my injuries/surgeries get in my way. I have surgery again in less than 4 months, which is a reason I think I'm disallowing myself to succeed, when it shouldn't even be a factor. Even if I have surgery, I should still be able to get a job and have the time off to recover after my surgery.

I don't have my license either, which really bugs me, yet.. I've not been doing anything to try to obtain it. Also, I've thought about applying for disability due to my inability to perform certain tasks, but I feel as if I'm not deserving of such a thing, due to me being so young (age 19).

Thanks for the responses so far. I really appreciate it.

 

Don't make Sythe such a priority in your life. As for the staff position, it is incredibly difficult to change the way the staff think of you (believe me, I can speak from experience). You have to come to terms with the fact that they don't have any intentions of bringing you back on the team. I don't mean to be harsh, but I felt the same way at one point. Even if they don't like you for something that is false or contorted, it sucks, but at the end of the day they will judge you in whatever manner they like. The harder you try to please them, the worse it looks. Especially when it is so apparent (most notably your UT).

 

I'm also 19 and without even my G1.. all of my friends bug me about it aha. I just don't see the need for it at the moment since i'm going to be in out of town university for four years, and my summer job back home is a five minute walk from my house.

As Luring King said, stop living on the internet; everyone on the internet is all for themselves in most cases. You will never get all of the respect you deserve.

I guess your first step is to get a part time job. You're definitely capable since your an intelligent person. I used to live on the internet before my part time job, but once I got it it lead to better things in my life. You really won't move on in life unless you get a part time job to save up for post secondary schooling (unless you have a way to pay for it already.) Do you see post secondary schooling in your future? What are your real life goals?

 

I suggest taking a break. Now, I MIGHT be wrong about this, but it could be you didnt get any calls due to you play Sythe/RuneScape too much and never interact with your family If you live at home and away from your parents/other family, call them like 3 times a month. Ive learned that parents really appreciate it. Also, if you dont live with your parents and you have no wife/husband, its not often adults get presents anyways and sorry about the 200M thing :\ But yeah, like I said, just take like 3 days off of Sythe/Runescape/computer. Dont even check your FB or anything. Just...i dunno. Go outside and sit in your yard and just absorb the sun. :] Or plan a family get together. This will definitely get you some brownie points with the family, if presents are what your looking for

 

Stop caring about your virtual life so much. It's hard to take someone seriously who's life revolves around games and internet forums.

I know you never stepped on anyone or did anything immoral to advance yourself, but you lose respect when all you're trying to do is advance yourself.

My advice: Don't leave sythe, but don't give it any more attention then it deserves. Get a IRL hobby, and learn something interesting. People will respect you more.

 

Like others said, I have always thought you take it all too seriously. Learn to prioritize; sythe should be nothing more than a hobby.