Getting a new house

[Zealot Reyes]

Alright so right now,Im just 15 and ive been a bit depressed about my future.
I live with my grandma and my grandma is cheap,annoying,and controlling.
She wants me to do everything for her,My mom has to live with her because we dont have money for a new house,and i hate it. I think im the only one that can change anything,My grandma is just holding everyone back,all she does is pray ALL day for god to help my grandpa(Has Alzheimers),which she should just spend time because thats time wasted. She treats my grandpa like total shit also. She forcefeeds him tells him to shut up,He wants to die. He has told me before and its saddening. My mom pays most of the bills in the shithole i live in but my grandma still acts as if the house is hers and limits my mom from doing anything. my mom never learned how to drive because of her,doesnt work because of her. My dad is gone,He left me when i was 12 due to finnancial issues,and now he is a alcoholic so i dont want to contact him,i called him and he isnt the same person. He told me so much crap when i called him that i should even know about. He is bad at being a father. My brother cant do much,He has autism,he is barely 18 but he refuses to work or drive or anything. I feel as if im the only person that can change the situation. I want to help my mom get a new house help her be happy along with my tiny family. My mom is deaf,She is limited from much,My brother does nothing,And im only 15 what can i possibly do. I really want to move my grandma has two houses,The shithole im in and a actually really nice home in a peaceful area but she wants to sell it when its paid off (withen the year) and i dont understand why she wont move there. My house is tiny,hell i even share it with my uncle. I want to help my family,I hate the situation and i feel powerless. i live in a gang infested neighborhood,and it isnt safe.
Is there anything i can possibly do? i want to move away to a peaceful place,I dont want a big house or anything just a plan on how i can help my family. My mom is currently on welfare so thats basically our only income.
Any plans on what i can do if i can do anything? thanks.

 

[Tom Brady]

If I were you I would Sit down and have a talk with your mother about trying to find another place to live, If you want to help her, then obviously you would need to get a job. Sounds like you are in a tough decision, but that should just motivate you that much more to work harder at everything. I'm in a bad situation myself and I use the negativity around me as motivation. Also its good to have ways to deal with stress. I like to listen to music, talk to friends, take a run and sometime I even read.

 

[Raising Hope]

You're still a child in my books and you're being abused. Your living conditions can be better but with a mother that's deaf and a father that's absentee there's not really much your parents can offer other than what they've been doing. You should contact child family services and get support there. Does your mother even know how to read lips and communicate with sign language? Your grandpa should be in a home and your brother should be seen and evaluated by professionals because it's not fair for him to be just there in existence with no life at all because he doesn't have the support he needs. You're still young enough to be put into foster care which in some cases is a lot better then where you currently reside. You need to think about your future and where you want to be when you're older. I'd put myself in foster care, get to school and do well then when you're ready attend college and shoot for the stars. You can't do much to help your family because you're so young and shouldn't be worried about anything other than school and girls and having a good time before you become an adult.

I don't know where you live but in Canada we have a good foster care system, my mother is a foster parent to a few kids and I treat them like they're family and they do well here. We all have are ups and downs with are parents but at the end of the day the only person you can count on is you, and it's only you that's going to be able to make sure you live a good life as an adult. If you feel like you need to stay home then make sure you at least get some consoling for you mother because it sounds like she needs a lot of guidance and help that you can't offer. Take your dad to court for child support, my sister and I took my dad to court and got a lot of money which helped my mom out a lot.

 

[Frugal]

Just try to motivate your mom to do and be the best that she can be. Its always hard for single mothers just show support and try to help out around the house doing more chores and things like that to show her that you both are in this together. Believe me when you are in situations like this with backs against the wall its best to show support.

 

[Stickly]

Hey man, glad you opened up and are asking for help!

So it sounds like really your home life is tough, and you're trying to pull your act together for your family. That's awesome! Here's the thing though man, you're still a kid and won't be able to do much. You could communicate with your mom about it, have her get a stable source of income. You yourself can't do much at your age, at least up here in Alaska you can't really get a job till you're 16. But I'd suggest getting an apartment if it's really that bad, until you have enough income to start on your own house.

 

[UpgradesnSuch]

You're still a child in my books and you're being abused. Your living conditions can be better but with a mother that's deaf and a father that's absentee there's not really much your parents can offer other than what they've been doing. You should contact child family services and get support there. Does your mother even know how to read lips and communicate with sign language? Your grandpa should be in a home and your brother should be seen and evaluated by professionals because it's not fair for him to be just there in existence with no life at all because he doesn't have the support he needs. You're still young enough to be put into foster care which in some cases is a lot better then where you currently reside. You need to think about your future and where you want to be when you're older. I'd put myself in foster care, get to school and do well then when you're ready attend college and shoot for the stars. You can't do much to help your family because you're so young and shouldn't be worried about anything other than school and girls and having a good time before you become an adult.

I don't know where you live but in Canada we have a good foster care system, my mother is a foster parent to a few kids and I treat them like they're family and they do well here. We all have are ups and downs with are parents but at the end of the day the only person you can count on is you, and it's only you that's going to be able to make sure you live a good life as an adult. If you feel like you need to stay home then make sure you at least get some consoling for you mother because it sounds like she needs a lot of guidance and help that you can't offer. Take your dad to court for child support, my sister and I took my dad to court and got a lot of money which helped my mom out a lot.

Probably the best support you will get on all of the forums. gratz RH

 

I don't believe he can just sit down with his mum and talk about this problem, his mother should already be trying to move out and I don't know about this but are deaf people even allowed to drive? Maybe you're wrongfully pointing stuff at your grandma when it's not really her. There's really not much you can do except stay in school, no matter stay in school and learn, educate yourself further and in the future when you have a good job you're going to be able to support your family more than you ever could now if you try and step in. That's just the way I see it, I don't think he's being abused.. Just he's in bad living conditions because he doesn't have a lot of money, I read nothing in there about him being abused physically or mentally.

You could try and get a part time job while going to school, help your mum earn that little bit of money. Apart from that, there doesn't seem like much else you can do except rough it out until you finish school and get a great job to support your family.

 

[Zealot Reyes]

You're still a child in my books and you're being abused. Your living conditions can be better but with a mother that's deaf and a father that's absentee there's not really much your parents can offer other than what they've been doing. You should contact child family services and get support there. Does your mother even know how to read lips and communicate with sign language? Your grandpa should be in a home and your brother should be seen and evaluated by professionals because it's not fair for him to be just there in existence with no life at all because he doesn't have the support he needs. You're still young enough to be put into foster care which in some cases is a lot better then where you currently reside. You need to think about your future and where you want to be when you're older. I'd put myself in foster care, get to school and do well then when you're ready attend college and shoot for the stars. You can't do much to help your family because you're so young and shouldn't be worried about anything other than school and girls and having a good time before you become an adult.

I don't know where you live but in Canada we have a good foster care system, my mother is a foster parent to a few kids and I treat them like they're family and they do well here. We all have are ups and downs with are parents but at the end of the day the only person you can count on is you, and it's only you that's going to be able to make sure you live a good life as an adult. If you feel like you need to stay home then make sure you at least get some consoling for you mother because it sounds like she needs a lot of guidance and help that you can't offer. Take your dad to court for child support, my sister and I took my dad to court and got a lot of money which helped my mom out a lot.

my brother is getting counsling to help with him and my mother speaks fluent sign language,She applied for a apartment thats for not so financially well famalies,But its been 2 years with no responce so yeah,only responce is a "approved and pending" still have to wait but its still hell i might have to wait a long time. My grandma tried to get all my mothers social secruity checks sent to her so she keeps the money and doesn move away,my grandma might be one of the biggest issues :l thanks for the awnser

 

[Zealot Reyes]

Thanks everyone for the support dont really come here so im suprised how caring people are here (Being a SF fag and all ) thanks everyone and also im not sure if id suggest child support on my dad,he cared but he wasnt right in the head and nobody liked him...had a gambling addiction. That'll be up to my mother though

 

[Raising Hope]

Just as long as you're okay and safe from abuse that's all that matters. Neglect is a really terrible thing for someone your age to go through. My dad was an abusive alcoholic that would rather gamble rent and drink are food money and one day my mother got the courage and she finally left him. It's a lot on a mother to go after their spouse for child support especially if they're abusive and threatening. My sister and I had to go to court and face him ourselves and get child support because he was just so aggressive that my mom was to scared to do anything about it.

It's a lot for a single mother to do anything really, she needs to be both a mom and a dad and sometimes things just get pushed so far back that they forget what they're even working towards anymore. Your grandma sounds very protective of her belongings and very wicked but who knows really how badly your grandpa treated her through out the years. She could just be vengeful but who knows some people just get worse as they age and lack a lot of sense and lose sight of whats most important.

Your grandma probably doesn't want to move into that other home because she wants to keep it in selling condition and needs the money for things that I couldn't even begin to list because she probably doesn't even know herself. When my grandpa died he left my grandma over 500 thousand dollars and she just lets it sit in the bank and always lives extremely poor and hates lending or helping anyone but really that's her business so I don't bother her for anything anymore and nor does anyone else in my family.

I lived with my grandparents for years with my mom and sister in a bedroom that we shared that was no bigger then my closet I have now. It feels good to look back at all the things I had to go through and to see all the stuff I have now and see how far my mother has gotten in life. Good things do happen but it takes time, it took my mom 8 years after she divorced my father just to get on her two feet and start living her life.

 

[Pizcheck]

Rising hope one of the best and cares.
Great advice man!

 

[hypermonkey3]

Want to get some good advice. Maybe right now you are thinking I would have to get a job if I want to move or something along those lines. Truth is in 3 more years you are going to be an adult. QUIT SCHOOL - Not Literally - and see everything as a Business Meeting. Network your stuff off and get some strong grades. Try to do as many out of home time worthy school programs or community programs (basically build your resume). 3 Years from now try to get a scholarship or take out some loans if you have to (you are going to have a low EFC if your living conditions are as described meaning lots of financial aid for college) GET A USEFUL COLLEGE DEGREE by networking with a useful college degree you would sure as hell get a real job and then get your mom our of there. I know this is long term but think about what I said.

 

[Nt A Charity]

Honestly, my best advice for you, regarding the house, is tough it out for the moment. Keep going to school but try and get the best grades you can, so you can get into a good profession. Then go to a college and ask about scholarships into the professions you'd like.

However, if you're grades aren't that good or you don't like school, drop out and become a tradesman. Most tradesmen get paid well and get skills in a lot of other trades along the way. You may be able to acquire the skills to build your own house.

The Grandmother situation is out of my league and all I can say is you cannot change people unless they are willing to change themselves.

 

Honestly, my best advice for you, regarding the house, is tough it out for the moment. Keep going to school but try and get the best grades you can, so you can get into a good profession. Then go to a college and ask about scholarships into the professions you'd like.

This exactly. Keep your head up and stay strong through anything life throws at you. The best thing for you right now is to focus on school and get the best grades possible which means getting the best job. You can also look for local jobs doing lawns if you have a lawnmower or just work for local restaurants/fast food stores.

 

[Cashmuney]

its gonna feel like the world is gonna be over but its not that bad, just look at the upside of everything.

 

[Nt A Charity]

You can also look for local jobs doing lawns if you have a lawnmower or just work for local restaurants/fast food stores.

This is another fantastic idea. Getting really any part-time job will help. Just have remember to keep your head up, think positively and keep on keeping on. Some advice for life in general, employers will always employ someone who is positive when life isn't going their way and they will employ people who really want to be employed. That's a bit off-topic but still getting a part-time job will help your situation.