Nightmares about past

Hello,

I'm not really feeling comfortable sharing this here, but I might aswell do so. I'll keep it short.

I've been bullied for a long time in the past. Those bullies kind of keep spooking me at night, meaning they show up in nightmares and such. Is this normal? I can understand I'll have to process it all, but considering this has been about 10 years ago I think this is kind of strange. I have already tried tackling my old memories by EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy, but this didn't seem to solve anything. Also I'm still in therapy but this is mainly helping me with daily issues.

Just to add, those nightmares with those bullies in it aren't about actual previous experiences. They are about random occasions and pretty weird ones aswell.

I'd love some clarification about this. Thanks for any help in advance.

 

Your body will naturally manifest your fears in your dreams. During times of stress your body will often have bad dreams as a means of coping with the stress and processing the information. My long term relationship recently ended under weird circumstances sort of. (No fighting ect) When I was awake everything seemed fine with the relationship but for around a week before she actually ended it my dreams consisted of her breaking up with me. Sometimes your subconscious deals with issues you're not willing to face when you're awake in your dreams. My dreams after the break up were about times I was happy with her unfortunately it was it's way of dealing with the heart break. I'm not really sure what to tell you as even I fear my own subconscious during sleep. As of recently it has been good but around a year and a half ago I was dying in nearly every dream I had. I never looked into the reasoning but it definitely fucked me up pretty good. When I was much younger I had a reoccurring night terror I had to seek child therapy. I'm really not sure the solution but know you're not in it alone.

 

My girlfriend has been through some pretty bad relationships and she has kind of the same thing happen to her with her dreams. I would suggest 2/3 things that I have seen help her. 1, talk to someone whether it be a friend or a therapist. Tell them every dream you've had that week. 2. Think good thoughts before going to bed. It can be something as simple as imagining fun things to do next day, or even look at pictures of funny things online on reddit or cute animals. As a decision science / psychology major in college I can attest that these subconsciously help you concentrate on the good while you sleep. 3. Sleep with a bear, or if you have a dog then maybe cuddle with it before bed. I know its not the manliest thing to do, but it has helped her and others that I have read about. Hope this helps.

 

It sounds to me you may have deeper issues than just the dreams. Perhaps resolving these fears/anxieties could be achieved through some sort of self-realization or closure method like talking with an ex-bully (you said it has been 10 years right?). Fear is a form of control, and freeing yourself from it makes you feel liberated especially with irrational fears. Exposing yourself to your fear can be a great way of overcoming it, so you could try some exposure or training for yourself for when altercations get physical; you must be comfortable knowing you can't be bullied anymore.

 

I actually moved like 2 years ago and I'm expecting for them it were just jokes, but for me I took it all very personally. I'm not actually afraid of the nightmares but when I have them I'm not really confident about it either.

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

I feel your pain bro, although I was never fully bullied. What I'd honestly recommend is maybe face your fears and stand up to the bullies/let someone know it really helps.

 

I'm curious to know, what are you doing during the last hour before you lay down and fall asleep when you have these nightmares?