Funny Sex Jokes!!

Surprised Kitchen Sex

Sarah is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

John walks in.

Sara says, "I want to make love to you right now."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, John gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards Sarah says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove.

A little puzzled, John asks, "What was that all about?"

Sarah explains, "The egg timer's broken."

Some people might not get this...lol, but say what you think.

First Time Sex

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with
her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her
boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for
the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a
trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's
his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour, by
telling the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family
pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where
the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and
bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
Ten minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after
20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to
the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.


Office Sex

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded: "The bastard used coins"

LOL

 

Hahah made me laugh pretty good !
I wish there were more things like this so i could do something while i'm cooking sharks.

 

The last one was funniest ^_^

 

lol i liked the last 1 hehe

 

I like the last one

 

You plan on citing where you got this?

( http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/jokes_sex.htm )

 

The second is the funniest imho

 

LOL, you're actually wrong, i didn't get these jokes from there, although on there is some good ones

Oh by the way only 1/3 of the jokes are on there.

 

I was showing you a page of sex jokes. Not telling you you got those from there.

Whatever.

 

Doesn't look like it to me, you said the above. Thanks.

 

funny... good one.

 

I giggled at the second one.

 

Haha love the third joke.

 

Love the last one.

 

Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

 

LOL @ the last one.

 

lol man

 

Lol! funny

 

Rofl, nice, I liked the last one best. I didn't quite get the first one though :O

 

the last one was funny lol