Freestyle - Rate, So i can improve.

[Herbal Essance]

like jobs, crime pays in
many similar ways,
standin outside and we puffin on js
eyes glazed, bomb haze
ddc in ya face
niggas gettin killed
wrong time, wrong place
feel the lyrics i lace
dedicated to my niggas
yea its never too late
so bring the love or the hate
stayin strapped wit the k
every night every day
and this money i make
100gs in the bank
and i never liked fudge
but i love flippin cake



Hey guys, This is a freestyle i just wrote. I usually don't write but, tell me how you feel on this.

 

[blastboy]

lol the ending is hot

 

[Herbal Essance]

Thanks

 

[Trusted_Seller]

Complexity- Lacking
Metaphors- Non-Existing
Wordplay-Not There
Multies-Basic If Any
Flow- The only decent thing about this write I feel. It flowed pretty well.

My advice would be try to tie the lines better. Perhaps count syllables and etc.

 

[Herbal Essance]

thanks, but you won't rap.
and you are the one with the fake vouches.

 

[i3urnin_Up]

pretty good

 

[TheHacker]

I like that