Feeling A Bit Left Out.

[SexayMistahBee]

I feel like a social reject.
But I am not.

The problem is, I am great when I am with just one or two people. Thus, I am usually the first person to make friends with the "new" guy or girl and help him get used to the environment and atmosphere. For example, if there's a new person at school, I am usually his first and best friend for a while.

However, the problem is that once they start fitting in, that's it. They end up making new friends and I'm now all alone. Of course it's not anything like them ending up hating me or thinking that I'm weird.
Let's compare it to birds. Once a fledgeling is old enough, it leaves its nest. They are the fledgelings, I am the parent bird. Once somebody they could not be without, now somebody they don't need.

If I have any friends that I hang out with regularly, they are probably social outcasts, like the loner at school or gay guy. Right now, I have one very close friend who's like my brother, as we've been friends since 2006. But the only reason he hangs out with me, is because he has no other people to hang out with in his new class. He'll probably be gone sooner or later, too.

I also have a lot of trading newbies in my friendlist, whom I try to help out with the marketplace as much as possible. But once they end up getting "big" or maybe even be staff members, they'll have their own group to hang out with and once again, I'll be left out.

I can never fit into a group. Tried it, quickly lost interest as I had trouble focusing on what they were talking about.

I consider my being able to help people out to be a gift, but also a curse since I give my everything to do so but end up getting nothing in return. Of course I'm cool with that, as I like doing what I do, but it just makes me feel lonely and even betrayed a bit.

Sorry for the long thread.
does anybody have any advice for me?

Thanks a lot for reading my life's story.

 

[Tumsonis]

Well, there is something what others do not like in you, nothing big, but it is enough to chose others instead of you. Maybe ask some closer friend or classmate for a talk, person who would try to understand and not tell it everybody that you feel alone. Tell about your problem and ask what does he thinks about you and why is so, if he notices any bad attitude or something like that.

Maybe this ?

I can never fit into a group. Tried it, quickly lost interest as I had trouble focusing on what they were talking about.

 

[Emperor Nero]

Well you really need to seperate internet friends from real life friends; internet friends will come and go a lot because that is the nature of not having a personal relationship with someone. You can't develope a personal connection to someone you have never really met. I mean you may know their life story and heard about all their ex's but that doesn't mean anything, because social interaction is very different than internet relationships.

 

[Hotpursuit]

I've felt the same in the past, on some other forums aswell as in real life. I think the best thing to do is to introduce yourself to a group, rather than introduce others to one. If you become the 'new' person in a group, then maybe someone like yourself will help you out and get to know people however new/old they are. Then it's your decision whether to leaver them or not.

 

If you can make friends with one person, you can make friends with many.
If you lose interest and miss half the conversation or you are talking to someone else just say "sorry what were you talking about again?" or something on the lines of that.
It's just the same as talking to one person, all you're doing is making friends with one person, then another person, then another person, within a short time.

 

[SexayMistahBee]

Well you really need to seperate internet friends from real life friends; internet friends will come and go a lot because that is the nature of not having a personal relationship with someone. You can't develope a personal connection to someone you have never really met. I mean you may know their life story and heard about all their ex's but that doesn't mean anything, because social interaction is very different than internet relationships.

i dont think that youve completely understood what i said.

Pursuit: thanks man never thought of that
Yomsonis: i will consider that,too. Thanks man

 

[OneFatMoFo]

Hey, there are 2 kinds of people, introverted and extroverted and everyone is shy around people they are not comfortable with/they do not know.
Hope that clears some things up.
I feel very related to what you are feeling but you are just having a very pessimistic way of seeing things.
This is what you see.
I am a loner, I just have one best friend who i have known since 2005 he is another loner, i sometimes hang out with some loner friends but they are cool and basically my group friends are other social outcasts.

What I see
I have known my best friend since 2005 and I hang out with some guys from college and have a group of friends I usually talk to.

social incasts are the ones that define social outcasts, and you have probably already noticed this but the social outcasts are only defined by big groups of people where there usually isn't a lot of trust/friendship between them (think about a group of popular people, how likely is it that they are as close as you are with your best friend) so you are probably looking it from the wrong side.
I just don't see a problem with your social life as described.

p.s. you are just helping people out because you feel that doing so will get you acceptance and you try to fill in a group because you want to get accepted, this is just because you are unsecure about yourself and may need some sense of identity.
Some people are just not for you, the moment you began to feel uncomfortable around some people you know they are just not for you, whenever you click with someone it will be easy to get a long.

 

[SexayMistahBee]

Hey, there are 2 kinds of people, introverted and extroverted and everyone is shy around people they are not comfortable with/they do not know.
Hope that clears some things up.
I feel very related to what you are feeling but you are just having a very pessimistic way of seeing things.
This is what you see.
I am a loner, I just have one best friend who i have known since 2005 he is another loner, i sometimes hang out with some loner friends but they are cool and basically my group friends are other social outcasts.

What I see
I have known my best friend since 2005 and I hang out with some guys from college and have a group of friends I usually talk to.

social incasts are the ones that define social outcasts, and you have probably already noticed this but the social outcasts are only defined by big groups of people where there usually isn't a lot of trust/friendship between them (think about a group of popular people, how likely is it that they are as close as you are with your best friend) so you are probably looking it from the wrong side.
I just don't see a problem with your social life as described.

p.s. you are just helping people out because you feel that doing so will get you acceptance and you try to fill in a group because you want to get accepted, this is just because you are unsecure about yourself and may need some sense of identity.
Some people are just not for you, the moment you began to feel uncomfortable around some people you know they are just not for you, whenever you click with someone it will be easy to get a long.

Nah, it was probably because of all the stress that I've been going through, but you're right on the point, now that I think of it.
Thanks man, this helped me out the most.