Family issues..(?)

Alright, well, hey guys. I'm Christian. (Prefer Chris, though). I have two brothers, both parents, the whole family. I'm the youngest of the kids, and it's annoying. But down to the problems..

So, My dad, he's really never liked me much, he's favored the middle child for as long as I can remember. My mother, she's on a neutral basis with me all the time. She favors the oldest. Lately, my dads found the stupidest reasons to yell at me, while my older, the middle smokes weed, and drink and all that in the house, and he just tell him "You shouldn't do that, I don't wanna see it happen again." Of course it happens over and over. But over the past two months, he took my laptop I paid for myself, broke it, because I talked back to him. Took my cell away, grounded me to my room for a week, so on.

Pretty much, I'm tired of his shit, and I've told it too him to his face, and of course, that got me in more trouble. The past few weeks, I've been debating on moving out, and living with a friend, where I'll be getting a job with him, and we're at the same school.

Pretty much, I'm just wondering, what do you guys think about it all, am I over-reacting for wanting to leave? I know, since I'm still only 16, it's not a smart decision, but I can't take it.

 

Talk with your dad one-on-one when all is cooled down and explain to him how you are feeling. I'm sure he'll understand. If he doesn't, talk to your mom about how you're feeling. Make sure you don't yell at them when you are telling them though, be cool and let it all out. Moving out is not smart decision, atleast not until you are 18.

Hope all goes well with you and your family.

 

My father knows, and wants me to move out. My mother, sorta is just like I don't want you too, but I don't really care if you do.

 

What made them feel the way they do? What caused them to have a non-liking to you? Do you act repulsive? Have you tried doing nice things for your dad in an attempt to change the way he sees you? If not, give that a try.

Either way, moving out is not a smart decision at that age. Wait it out until you're 18 and then do so if you still have to.

 

What made them feel the way they do.. If I knew why, I probably would have tried to set it straight. It may have started out due to grades. Freshmen year, I had shit grades, my dad didn't want to talk to me for being a failure, so he didn't, for awhile. I don't act repulsive, though at this time, I just ignore him. Don't talk to him unless it's something important.

I know it's not the best idea to move out, but really, I can't focus in school when he's always yelling at me, and putting everything on me. Really just leaves me stressed, and I take it out on everyone else which effects my social life.

 

Maybe, and I hope I don't get flak for saying this, but moving out may be your best option.

If you can't concentrate in school because your parents are always on your mind, then that definitely isn't healthy. As long as you know you can get a job, and the "friend" doesn't mind you staying for long periods of time, I think it should work out.

Let's face it; your parents don't care for you at this moment. They need a wake-up call and realize that they have a perfectly good son, who doesn't smoke nor drink, who deserves none of the harsh things you get from them. Maybe moving out will be a wake-up call for them. Maybe then they will realize that they're creating this huge family problem.

Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, it's 2:30 am and I'm really tired, but I couldn't not reply back to you as someone who almost went through the same thing.

 

Trust me, putting up with shouting and unfairness and such is a lot easier than moving out and living for yourself. I've lived on my own from the age of 16, I'd take any amount of shouting and being unfairly treated if I could live with parents. Seriously, it's worth putting up with. You'll thank them one day for being strict, even if they weren't with your brothers. Just do as much around the house as you can, give them no reason to fault you, it's hard work but you'll appreciate it in later life.

 

Yeah, I had to live with a friend. It was OK, but personally, I prefer life with a family - even when they can be unbearable..
Living with a friend is obviously easier, but what if some kind of argument came between you? High school friendships can be rocky at times, and if you're together a lot, it can become tough to put up with them, as you see their flaws which you wouldn't see so often.

Personally, I'd say just tough it out.
Good luck.

 

In an economy like this, it's best to stay home whether its good or bad environment. Try to listen to your Dad and do what he says, because you don't want to be grounded for not obeying/listening.

I would try to fulfill his requests, also perhaps buy lunch for the family (maybe pizza?) and set up the drinks, plates, and napkins. Maybe he will see you taking initiative and re-consider his behavior towards you. Bring home good grades on major tests/quizzes and show him. Hope one of these suggestions help.

Best of luck brother.

 

I don't recommend moving out, not while you're still in school anyways. It's always best to put all your feelings out in the open with something like this, I think. Sit down with him and your mother and explain. If this doesn't change things or they get worse, talk to somebody at school about it. Usually, a guidance counselor has a lot of helpful advice, and they may even try to improve the situation personally if they feel that the situation has elevated to a level that is causing you harm in some way.

I know a lot of people are completely opposed to this idea, but it honestly is not a bad one. I personally received A LOT of help from a counselor in high school when I was growing up. At first, I too felt appalled by the idea. After doing so though, I felt so much better, and it really did turn my life around.

 

It seems like you just don't like getting yelled at, and if yelling is the majority of what your parents do count your blessings; all parents yell.

Do they beat you?
Do they steal from you?

Your only 16. If they are giving you free food and free shelter then just put up with it for awhile ^_^ Once you make the decision to move out and follow through on it, coming back may be tricky.

 

Move in with your good friend, if he is a good friend there family will treat you like there own. Maybe then your dad will realize how much he misses you and will be fair to you.

 

I used to be beat, but that stopped probably three years ago. That's all over. It's not only the fact that they yell at me, it's more of the fact it's only me. I don't plan on going back if I leave.

I already know who I'll be living with. His family is fine with it, and they love me. I've known them for around 8 years, so, I don't feel there will be all that many problems.