dont know what to do anymore.

[daveed]

Well this is the last place I thought id ever come to ask for help. But its about all I got left.

This is gonna be pretty long and I'm sorry.

But here's my situation.

So my girlfriend and I have been together 3 years. (Were both 16) and we've been through some pretty tough shit. But recently my family had to move about 5 hours away because my dad got a new job. This girl is literally my world. She means everything to me and id take a bullet if it meant her being happy. I also love her family like my own. We all get along great and there just like my own blood to me.

We decided we would try and work our relationship out. I could come to see her every other week or something (neither of us go to.school) but here's the problem. And this might not make a lot of sense but ill try to explain. It the best I can.


My girlfriend has never exactly been "trustworthy". Ill give a few examples. Even though I cant even count how many times this has happened.

- her sister does a lot of drugs. And I don't like that. I told her if I ever figured out she was doing them that would be the end of us. Well i found out she was doing them and we argued and whatever and we made up. She told me she would never do them again. (This has happened atleast like 6 times.)


- shes not really bisexual shes just curious I guess. And one morning I noticed her hiding her phone from me. (And I know I shouldn't have done this) but I went through her phone and found messages from MY EX talking about how they loved each other and she had her come stay the night ( without me knowing) and they slept together (not sex) and so on and so on. Once again we fought and made up. ( shes done this several different times even after we fought)



There's many more examples but I winy waste your time.just to sum it up she is not at all trustworthy. And I admit ive fucked up) but not more than twice.

Well I'm in love with this girl. Head over heels inlove. And I know she loves me too. I know it.
Well since ive moved we've agreed to stay together and work it out. But what she doesn't know is that I know shes talking to another girl (yet again) and I just don't know what to do. She doesn't know shes basically ripping my heart out and spitting on it. I cant live without this girl.I just cant. I cry myself to sleep everynight. (Literally) and I just don't know what to do. I try to talk to my family about it. (Mainly my mom and older bro) but there no help.

Also I have a disability and I know it will be hard to find someone else that accepts that I just cant do some things like other guys can. (I had back surgery and I'm pretty fucked up.) But this girl loves me like I am. I know noons else could ever love me like she does.

But long story short. I just don't know what to do or say. And idk if Im really asking for advice or I'm just putting on the table. But idk. If anyone has any advice (or even took the time to read this) id love to hear what you have to say. Shit it cant get much worse from here.

I'm really not trying to write a sap story I just don't know what to do.
Well since ive moved

 

Hey buddy, sorry you've been having a tough time.

In short; I know right now you cant fathom not being with her and her not being around, it's heartbreaking to imagine. But honestly, dont keep running after her if she's going behind your back with someone else like that. If they'll do it once they'll no doubt do it multiple times.

Don't worry about being accepted, we all have our quirks and insecurities but there's always someone out there who doesn't see them like you do or loves you unconditionally no matter what.

Stay strong man, trust me, it's the first of (usually) many heartbreakers to come

 

[MadTwatter]

Alright buddy, I've got a long one for you (No pun intended). Sounds like you think nobody gives a shit, or would even take the time to read what you said. First off, I read the whole thing more than once to make sure I didn't miss any details. Second, I don't even know you, but I can relate to what you're going through, and whether you're looking for advice, or just need to get it off your chest, I'm going to help you out!

You've been together 3 years? That's a long time for your age, you're 16, so you started dating at 13? Well...Whether you want to hear it or not, because I sound like another old douchebag saying it's puppy love..But, really dude. I'm 17 and I have been in serious relationship, after relationship...It gets better, I promise you.

One thing you find often in young love is that feelings run very deep, but after someone fucks up...That connection just isn't what it used to be. I know you care a lot for this girl, and it just fucks you up inside every time you see a message/call or even someone else's name that you KNOW she has even a slightest bit of feelings for them. I'm going to give you two sides of advice, the side where you stay, and the side where you just can't do it anymore.

You have to end it...You think you are a piece of shit, and no one loves you? You have got more to offer than what you think. You would stick around KNOWING that she has done drugs, and KNOWING that she has cheated on you? You are loyal, and it doesn't matter if you've got a disability. People don't fall in love for looks or body, that's just lust. People fall in love with personality, and the fact that you stayed that long, you're a hell of a person. I know you love her to the moon and back, but you can't let someone treat you like that. I've been through it too man, you're scared because it will be so different, you'll have no one, your routine will be different, and you just love her so much...I PROMISE YOU if you get through it, everything will get better. Once you've hit rock bottom, you've got no where to go but up. Be positive, don't be negative and think that you have nothing to offer anyone, because you do.

Now, if you stay with her...It might get better, and it might get worse. But, if it does get better, it will be SO great you'll be happy that the love is there that was there in the beginning. But, when you put your head on that pillow at night by yourself, everything that runs through your mind will be about how she cheated on you (I consider just talking to someone cheating), and you'll feel like absolute shit. Nothing she says, and nothing you say can ever change that fact.

Girls are always complaining about how all the good guys are taken, and this is why. Because we stick around for girls who don't deserve us. You sound like a great guy, and you need to be with a great loyal girl who deserves you.

I KNOW, I KNOW BRO...I know you want to help her, make her better, fix her...But it's just not going to happen in this lifetime, she needs to learn on her own. If you leave her, I wouldn't doubt that her world would stop spinning, but she should have thought about that before she took you for granted.

There is NO scenario where this works out buddy...You have to let her go. Cheating, lying, drug abuse...Doesn't matter what love you have, at the end of the day, you just can't put up with that.

ANYTIME you need help, go ahead and post it here, or message me privately.

 

Buddy, I know it's going to be hard but judging by the way you've explained things your relationship is just not healthy right now. I've had a similar experience with a girl I thought I would never get over. Her and I spent a ton of time together and I thought she was fantastic. Unfortunately she moved 12 hours away some time after we had become official. It never worked, despite our attempts and as much as I wished it did at the time.

The only benefit of this situation is that because of your distance it is very likely that after some time you will start to drift away from her and it'll help you.

Soon after I broke with this girl I met the love of my life whom I've been with for five years now.

Heartbreak is something only time can heal my friend. Just remember, if you feel like you're at the bottom then there is nowhere to go but up.

If you ever need a hand or someone to just chat with, let's Skype! Add me!

 

[Naxious]

I must be very hard for you bro but don't give up, woman and girls are just like that so it's not like you can do anything about it tbh. Just relax and don't think too much about it. Girls are girls and they have many different perspectives from guys

 

[Lean]

You're still young man, there's plenty of other girls out there. Don't worry about people accepting you. Stay strong and you'll do just fine i'm sure

 

[S]

I know it feels like she is your everything, and that may well be the case. However, give it time, time heals all wounds. If it it doesn't work out, don't be put down, you're still young, and you will find someone else.

 

[daveed]

Thanks for everhones advice. It really does mean a lot.

 

[Split Minds]

Chin up buddy, had my first girlfriend, was going out for 3 years and broke up 8 months ago, Yeah it hurt but it made me realise it wasn't meant to be and i'm happier now without her.