Did I do enough?

[Rivenstarz]

I spent this morning with a group of people doing teambuilding activity's for an Employer.
You know small groups, Tell a few things about yourself, that kinda stuff.
Upon entering the room there was this woman mid 40's very nervous disposition,
Really looked like she didn't want to be there, or was very anxious hands fidgeting ect.

I spoke with her briefly and noticed, a black eye hidden badly by makeup, and a bruised nose, her hands always around her face trying to cover what everybody in the room had already noticed.
cos lets be honest it stuck out like a sore thumb

Before I could even ask what happened, she cut me of with a story about how she fell while she was camping and that's why she's got the bruises ect.

so we carried on, but it bugged me I was worried infact I still am that she maybe be in a abusive relationship

I took her to the side before we left and asked her, if she was alright and needed help and she looked like she was going to Cry but stutted and said she was okay.

Im devastated here thinking I could of done more and im unsure of how I could of helped even if I could.
Maybe if I walked her to her car or something or just was more assertive when I asked her.

I feel like what ive thought is 100% happening but, I mean I could be wrong. she could of just fell camping like she said.

I hope im wrong, but what If im not and I haven't done enough.

 

[gambling_babz]

So
In these situations, she's clearly in denial. If the boyfriend finds out that you knew that, something could go wrong there. If the boyfriend knew that she was with you, she'd be in trouble. You need to befriend her at work and talk to her a lot. It doesn't have to be directly related to this situation, but you need to be very casual. Wait until she's comfortable about it. Worst comes to worst, offer her a place to say, money for her to go somewhere else, but find a way to help.

I CBA to type a lot right now but if you want more help pm me privately.

In all, you did what you could at the time, and I applaud you for that. Thank you, and good job.

 

[Specificc]

you cant get blood out of stone you did more then anyone else would of

 

[T__]

Well i think you did a good job!

 

[PIT RAT]

So
In these situations, she's clearly in denial. If the boyfriend finds out that you knew that, something could go wrong there. If the boyfriend knew that she was with you, she'd be in trouble. You need to befriend her at work and talk to her a lot. It doesn't have to be directly related to this situation, but you need to be very casual. Wait until she's comfortable about it. Worst comes to worst, offer her a place to say, money for her to go somewhere else, but find a way to help.

I CBA to type a lot right now but if you want more help pm me privately.

In all, you did what you could at the time, and I applaud you for that. Thank you, and good job.

what he said^^^^

 

[Revora]

Asking was more than enough.

Don't pry.

 

Asking was more than enough.

Don't pry.

I disagree, although I am quite assertive in nature. If you genuinely have to ask if you did enough you didn't do enough @Rivenstarz possible exception for this might be suicide, especially unexpected ones. But generally if you second guess yourself you didn't follow your gut, and that isn't healthy in general. Even if your gut feeling is improper, who cares. Worst thing that happens is she gets mad and leaves, then realizes you were trying to help, and ensure that she was really ok even past her general judgement. Our second nature is to ensure we try our hardest to make sure people around us are protected and if we can help, that we try to do so. What you did was nice, but not enough in my opinion.

 

[Rivenstarz]

I disagree, although I am quite assertive in nature. If you genuinely have to ask if you did enough you didn't do enough @Rivenstarz possible exception for this might be suicide, especially unexpected ones. But generally if you second guess yourself you didn't follow your gut, and that isn't healthy in general. Even if your gut feeling is improper, who cares. Worst thing that happens is she gets mad and leaves, then realizes you were trying to help, and ensure that she was really ok even past her general judgement. Our second nature is to ensure we try our hardest to make sure people around us are protected and if we can help, that we try to do so. What you did was nice, but not enough in my opinion.

This is what I needed to hear

 

This is what I needed to hear

I try my hardest to make valid statements that hit home.

 

You said this was an employee team building exercise. Does that mean that you work in the same building as this woman? If at all possible you could always follow up or befriend her if you work together. If you remember her name you could also add her on social media and ask to get coffee or talk sometime.

Sometimes people that are being abused won't tell anyone about it, regardless how much you push them to talk. There are lots of reasons this could happen, so I wouldn't blame yourself for not getting her to tell you her life story after briefly knowing her.