Hey all. I just wanted to get some friendly advice from a few of you guys because I'm a little lost right now with all the things that have been going on. I'll try and keep this as short as possible, because obviously you didn't come here to read a book 
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So over the past 2 1/2 - 3 years I've been extremely depressed over having to move in with my father. I don't even call him that normally, nor describe him as a human being. I moved in after living with my grandparents for all of my life. They had to take me in because this common jackass, and the mother I haven't seen almost all my life, left to go out, get high, go to prison, and get involved with the stupid people. Now people make mistakes, yes. But over and over... no.
Anyways, the reason I moved in here is because my grandfather got extremely ill to the point where we actually watched him die. He was a veteran, a good man to my grandmother, and always was a father figure to me and my little brother. A little after he died, my grandmother couldn't really take care of us both on what little she had. So if anyone had to suffer, I chose to move in because I didn't want my brother to even get to know him and fall into his games.
After I moved in it was constant beating, drinking, drugs, and mind games. He's gotten me arrested for "running away" several times and placed in juvenile hall (yes they do that here) for "running away". Half the times I didn't run, I just wanted to go visit my grandmother and he knew about it. Just felt like getting me in trouble.
That's when I got CYS involved, and got counseling. CYS didn't believe any forms of abuse even though I starved for days and he was constantly high. There's literally 9 other people here. Nobody can afford anything. It's just not a good place. Through counseling I got some medication to sleep and to aid in my depression. I got severely addicted to the Ambien somehow, even though I never abused it and it was prescribed.
When I finally got the balls to ask for something different the doc starts giving me drugs for Schizophrenia to "sleep." All this is really starting to get to me, it doesn't seem like much, but there is a lot I left out to make it somewhat readable. I just don't want the horrible side effects of this medication so I won't take it, but the doctor won't give me anything else to sleep. If I don't get to sleep I stay up for days at a time without tiring. So work/school is awful with no sleep, on top of the depression and withdraw of the Ambien and other drugs the doc gave me.
Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with the situation at hand? And maybe get some sleep on top of it?
If you actually got this far, I sincerely thank you for reading this and taking the time to do so. If you have any questions about this thing I call a life, I'll be glad to answer... but I've actually never been open or talked to anyone but my ex about this at ALL.
.So over the past 2 1/2 - 3 years I've been extremely depressed over having to move in with my father. I don't even call him that normally, nor describe him as a human being. I moved in after living with my grandparents for all of my life. They had to take me in because this common jackass, and the mother I haven't seen almost all my life, left to go out, get high, go to prison, and get involved with the stupid people. Now people make mistakes, yes. But over and over... no.
Anyways, the reason I moved in here is because my grandfather got extremely ill to the point where we actually watched him die. He was a veteran, a good man to my grandmother, and always was a father figure to me and my little brother. A little after he died, my grandmother couldn't really take care of us both on what little she had. So if anyone had to suffer, I chose to move in because I didn't want my brother to even get to know him and fall into his games.
After I moved in it was constant beating, drinking, drugs, and mind games. He's gotten me arrested for "running away" several times and placed in juvenile hall (yes they do that here) for "running away". Half the times I didn't run, I just wanted to go visit my grandmother and he knew about it. Just felt like getting me in trouble.
That's when I got CYS involved, and got counseling. CYS didn't believe any forms of abuse even though I starved for days and he was constantly high. There's literally 9 other people here. Nobody can afford anything. It's just not a good place. Through counseling I got some medication to sleep and to aid in my depression. I got severely addicted to the Ambien somehow, even though I never abused it and it was prescribed.
When I finally got the balls to ask for something different the doc starts giving me drugs for Schizophrenia to "sleep." All this is really starting to get to me, it doesn't seem like much, but there is a lot I left out to make it somewhat readable. I just don't want the horrible side effects of this medication so I won't take it, but the doctor won't give me anything else to sleep. If I don't get to sleep I stay up for days at a time without tiring. So work/school is awful with no sleep, on top of the depression and withdraw of the Ambien and other drugs the doc gave me.
Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with the situation at hand? And maybe get some sleep on top of it?
If you actually got this far, I sincerely thank you for reading this and taking the time to do so. If you have any questions about this thing I call a life, I'll be glad to answer... but I've actually never been open or talked to anyone but my ex about this at ALL.
