Contemplating Suicide;;

Ever since my great grandma passed away (in 2009) i've been extremely depressed. About 5 months ago i was engaged to who i thought was the one guy for me, after careful consideration i called off the engagement for a friend of mine that i've had strong feelings for, for over 5 years now, thinking that he felt the same about me. Only to find out that he didn't really like me, the way i thought he did. Seems like life gets worse every day. Guys only like me for my huge tits -- for some reason they think they'll get laid cause im a "heavy" girl . But thats not how i work. The only thing thats getting laid will be my body in the ground.

Any help or suggestions is greatly needed... Someone please help

 

http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1293734

Some of those are actually very true.

As for the whole relationship thing, you just haven't found the right person. Not all guys are dicks, however sadly a large percentage are. Suicide wont help, that's not a solution to any problem. You have a family and friends who love you. There IS someone out there in the world for you, it's just a matter of time till you find them.

I'm a guy, I'll admit that I've done some fucked up things to girls. I hooked up with friends only to never speak with them again afterwards and yes I'd wish I changed things but sometimes shit happens. There is always going to be rough times in life but look at it like this. As time goes on, you'll go through ups/and downs and this issue with your friend will no longer be a problem you're facing in your life.

Of course getting over it isn't going to be easy but you NEED to get over it. You have a life to live and there's a lot you can offer to people in this world. Don't let one dickhead get you down.

Suicide isn't the answer, and if my reason wasn't enough, look at the 150 others in that thread.

 

Just like Dave (BSGPSeller) suggested, take a close look at this thread: http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1293734

Suicide is NEVER the answer. Everything ALWAYS gets better. Take a second to think about everyone that would be affected by your death... Your family members, your ex-fiance, your ex-crush. It's not worth it one slight bit, not for yourself, but mainly for them.

Unfortunately, you will need to move on from your previous problems. Try spending some time with the family, and maybe even start councelling. Just remember, SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. Hope to hear from you again. And if you ever need to talk, just send me a PM, or add me on my MSN/Skype.

 

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, don't do it.

 

You are a young girl with so many opportunities to find the right guy for you. A few sleezeballs will come your way, but the right person will come along eventaully. If you search hard enough, you will find what you are looking for.

You're not being abused... you werent sexually abused... you dont have a drug problem... you didnt find your best friend dead one morning and cant get that image out of your head.... your mother doesnt constantly tell you she wishes she drowned you as a kid.... etc etc

well i went through all that and more, im still here... u sure as hell better be

 

I had a friend in high school who was going through a similar situation as you are going through right now. Let me tell you i was not able to help her and i still miss and think about her everyday! You need to remember alot of guys are pricks like you said they see your "huge tits" and think that just because you call yourself a "heavy" girl means they can just use you and then walk away. "heavy" girls to me are no different than "skinny" girls because i do not look on the outside for superficial looks its whats on the inside that matters. Don't let not being skinny mini ruin your life its really not worth all the stress some people think it is.

Now you said you broke off an engagement with the guy you thought was the one for you, and have you guys not talked since you called it off? Is there no chance that you guys would be able to work out your relationship issues? If you said you think he was the one for you then why not try to fix things with him then? Just explain the situation to him and try to talk it out. You never know what the outcome could be and it might surprise you.

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. Death is a hard thing to deal with, especially when it is someone who was close to you. Were you two really close? Did she live a long healthy life? And have you been to any Doctors to get some help with your depression? They can offer counseling, support groups, or medication to help you deal more with all of this depression that seems to be hitting you all at once.

Suicide is definitely not the answer and does more harm to your friends, family, and anyone else who was close to you. Believe me there are people out there for you, you need to go an connect with your friends and just enjoy your life. Get out and do some things that you enjoy doing, and dont let anyone put you down keep your head up and push through this tough time and make a bright future for yourself.

Send me a PM if you want to talk i can talk on msn or pm if you need anyone to talk to!

 

Yes yes if you need someone to talk to, i am here as well.

Dont hesitate... we can probably help each other out. Talking helps... i sure as hell know.

 

This exactly. There is a lot worse anyone can go through, but know there are always people to talk to, and always people here willing to listen.

 

Sorry i'm new to this so i dont know how to "quote" more than one of you in the same reply.
@Eliza - I have been sexually abused multiple times growing up and beaten. I've found two friends dead from Over doses. My mother tells me every day how much she hates me.

@isuckathalo1 - I have talked to ex fiance' since i called it off and he wanted me back but i was still head over heals for my ex crush that i turned him down. Now he wants to kill me. Since then i havent heard/talked to him. Me && My grandma were very close, thats why its been so hard on me. i havent seen someone for my depression but i am currently looking for help with it.


Thank you all for your help and answers. For you who wanted me to PM you - is there a way to add "friends" or something like that on this website so i can keep intouch with you all if i need someone to talk to or if you need someone to talk to?

 

EXACTLY. I’m not worth the stress. It’s not about looks. It never is. I am done with relationships forever and I’m not gonna be with you because I know I’ll end up hurting you.

That dude is a nut case. I’ma smash him if I get to.

The darker the tunnel is, the brighter the light will be at the end once you make it through. But you MUST make it through first.

I’m sorry about your grandmother KC, I’m sorry I’m not the friend to you that you are to me. I harbor too much pain from my past and I will never date again. Espescially someone as amazing and caring as you. I can’t hurt someone so rare and so genuine. As you’ve said we’ll always be friends, but I can’t let us be anything more than that… I can’t hurt anyone more than I already have. I’m sorry but it’s for the best.


P.S. You don't gotta hide who I am. I'm done livin my life in secrecy.

 

Incase Of That you should Try Get Far Away From your Ex Dont Contact Him Or Even Try Visit Him I Suggest You Moveing To Another City Start On A new Life Forget The Past About Your Problems Does Your Mom Hate you because you Called Of The Wedding? or other reasons Well I Really cant say More Never Seen Any Close Friends Happen To Have The Same Problem But I Really Feel Sad This Happen Well I Guess Everybody is Here To Help To Solve Your Problem You Can Always Count On Us Your Welcome To Contact Me Tru Messenger or sythe For Advise Or Help I Hope This Helped.

 

There is no reason to "be done with relationships forever" you will never be truly happy that way. Also you never know if you will hurt her or if you guys will spend the rest of your life together, you just never know until you try to work things out TOGETHER.

You seem like you truly care for this girl and what it going to take for both of your lives to move forward is that you two need to realize that the past is behind you and you cant go back and change that at all. The only place you can go is forward, together. Maybe you two need to both get some help for your depression, and then maybe you two can work it out and move forward with your young lives.

Ok are you the best friend or the ex fiance`?

 

Taylor "isuckathalo1" is absolutely correct about everything. Also, He's the best friend that i've like for 5 years.

I will never want to contact/visit him , he's crazy! I never did anything to him to that would make him want to kill me. I called off the wedding cause the feelings werent there and i wasnt going to marry someone who i didnt genuinely love. Plus the fact that the relationship was extremely over controlled by him. i wasnt even allowed to talk to my own parents! Wasnt allowed to go to school cause he feared i would cheat. I am one of the most faithful girls on this earth. Never cheated never will! I cant just get up and leave my life behind for him. My mom hates me cause i told the truth about her husband (my step dad) abusing me growing up. She didnt want people to know the truth.

 

I have my reasons. And the only time I'm TRULY happy is when I am with my children. They are my worlds.

I do care for her. Out of the thousands of people (maybe 10's of thousands - literally) she is the only real friend I have in life. Besides my family and relatives nobody else is there for me but her. She gives me too much credit. I don't say I'm a playa to sound bad ass or to seem cool. I say it because it is true. Bein a playa is what destroyed my relationship with my son's mother - my ex-fiance. I love her, she never once wronged me and even put up with me using drugs, never being home, and bein a piece of shit scrubby motha fucka while she was working full time to get stuff for our son.

I can't hurt someone like that again. I hate myself for what I've done to my ex. I left state on probation and my 'friends' that came with me tossed me the car keys to a stolen Silverado said, "Learn to drive.", dipped in 2 minutes and left me holding a .22 to my head. The ONLY reason I didn't pull that trigger was because of my children. I thank God for my pride & joy every second of every day and every night. All day and all night. I can't thank God enough for them.
But I can't go through that again.
I can't hurt someone else so terribly that I feel more guilt and sorrow than I already have harbored inside my heart and my soul.
If that pain comes back even half of what it was than I WILL pull the trigger.
I can't hurt her BECAUSE I care.
I can't hurt her because SHE cares.

1/10,000 is a rare find. I have no intention to lose such a rare and priceless gem.

I'm sorry KC, jus know that it's because I care about you...

I'm the best friend. Her ex is crazy and I wanna break him for the way his mouth runs. I've never even met the fucker and he's as good as dead in my eyes.

 

Hm, well since we've gone through similar things, we should know exactly how each other both feel. Trust me i feel the same way as you.

PM me anytime
Click on a persons name you want to private message and select send private message option....
i also have msn... its in my signature

 

Theres so much to live for in life, just this week, a person that everyone gets along with pretty well decided to end her life. It opened every ones eyes to really think that your life means so much more than what we see it as. Im sure your a very beautiful girl, no matter what guys see you as, there are plenty of guys out there there would love to get to know you. Knowing someone for 5 years to find out he doesnt like you the way you do if hard, but nothing to give your life up over. Just remember God created us all for a reason and yours is to do something great. So look up and live life.

YOLO

 

Thank you guys for all the help!

 

Just really think about this. Theres so much more to live for in life

 

I have been through worse times, but think about the people around you, think about how you would feel, think about how others would feel if you're gone.

Inspiration.

Think about what you could have done to make the world a better place, to make the world remember you for what you have done.

Think about the countless activities, joy, fun, places to even do or go.

It's countless.

And trust me, when you have a clear thought about this, the last thing you will ever want on Earth is death. There's just so many things that fascinate around you.

If you think life sucks for you, you have to make the effort to make it better.

If you think life is torturing you, think about the kids in Africa who have nothing to eat, they cling on to their deary life.

Everyone who has a right sense of mind clearly values their life, there might be some with low self esteem, close to the edge of the world, but with some motivation and help from the people who have stood their ground, those people will be held and made to stand strong...

And we..

Are here..

To help you.

 

Don't kill yourself. It will be one of the worst decisions you ever make.

I know exactly what it feels like to be in such a low part of your life, but you need to think hard about this before you make any decisions. There are SO many reasons in this world to continue living... I'm sure there are countless people who love you, tons of experiences for you that you have not yet had, a wonderful guy out there somewhere who you will meet someday and share your life with, etc.

Suicide is NOT the answer. Although you may be in alot of pain and agony right now, please hold on. Those assholes who try and get with you just to get laid will move on and disappear, you will grow older, wiser, and more mature and you will meet people that are just like you! Things will get better eventually, they always do.

If you're ever feeling really low and you need to talk, please PM me or contact me via MSN.