Carl the Alpha Fish

Recently, my girlfriend and I have decided to take in a orphan fish baby. I'm excited to introduce you all to the man, the myth, the legend, the frattiest fish there ever has been - Carl.

Carl comes from the deep depths of Asian rice fields and has just now discovered his home with me in northern California. He lives in a frugal, but cozy tank. Carl was born at 1 inch and 42 pounds. We are currently feeding him micro pellets until his balls drop. Then we will be feeding him macro pellets. He is a blue-purple color and pulls all the bitches. He is currently 0-0 in his life time as an alpha fish, although we are looking to pump up those numbers here once he grows a few inches.

Although I have been doing quite a lot of reading on alpha fish, I still am left with a few questions that I will take this time to ask you all on this great community we call Sythe.

If I get him glow in the dark rocks, will he be able to sleep at night?
Do fish sleep?
Can fish get tattoos like hermit crabs?
What is the best fodder for fish?
What are the best ways to train fish? (i.e going through hoops, following fingers, etc)
Are fighting mirrors considered torture in the fish world?

Thanks for listening, all feedback is appreciated. Pictures below from when we first got him and the second from after his first football practice

 

lol that you haven't already got him on a bulking phase

 

fire

 

i didn't read the post but im thinking of jerking off to your new fish dude he's a hottie with a body

 

i cant see a fish in the first picture dude

 

nevermind i see it now i thought that was part of the leaf

 

Your face just makes me think of Tinychat.

 

When you tell him they don't sleep. And he claims he searched it and that they do.. then you remember they sleep with their eyes open.. but he still doesn't know?????

 

carl

 

are you going to eat him

 

no but carl will soon be eating other small beta fish to get stronger

 

MARINE BIOLOGISTS HATE HIM! Watch How Your Fish Can Grow 2-3 Inches In 2 Weeks!

 

The first post of yours that I actually laughed at. Nice meme.

 

Is he addicted to MDMA yet

 

dam son

 

Carl was born at 1 inch and 42 pounds

I'm sorry but did u just say he was born a inch long weighing 42 pounds?

What the fuck does this fish look like???

World record holder!

 

get him a bigger tank you jew fuck

 

4hed bigger than the fish itself