bailout poem

[5buxamonth]

this economy is falling faster then light
but theres still time to fight,
depression,recession all the same
And only we are to blame,
spending money we dont have,and picking up other peoples tabs
its gettin worse everyday,
bailout plans helping companys who made mistakes
whatever happened to making your own bed and layin in it,
oh ye thats right no one can face it
When the economy falls
people will realise its time to step up and play ball,



rate it

 

[Glummy]

8/10. Great job on the poem bud.

 

[5buxamonth]

Thanks anyone else?

 

[delta9]

ill throw you a 6.9/20

 

The first 5/6 lines are pretty good, but the last few could use a bit of improvement.

 

[deadzone]

The first 5/6 lines are pretty good, but the last few could use a bit of improvement.

+1 it's good but you need to redo the ending I think to make it more catchy.

 

[Iam Satan]

I agree with the others, I noticed the same thing. Your ending doesn't flow, and it doesn't really hit home. Otherwise great job, you kept on subject, expressed what you wanted to, and writing about a current subject is always something everyone else can relate to.

Bravo.

 

[HaroldTyler123]

Like a bloodied warrior,
laying broken and torn.

Like a dying soldier, hopeless and forlorn.

But the blood, it be green,
the color of money.

And the soldier is an economy,
and it is anything but funny.

Broken are it’s people and shattered are their dreams.

Thanks to the ultra rich and their full proof schemes.

It is a tragedy with more pain to come.

Finance will be Hell, and their wills will be done.


________________________
Hotel Malaysia
Hotels Malaysia

 

[Sara2thespaceman]

nice. too bad you're banned.