Another girl problem :/

Unregistered19 #1245788 · Apr 9, 2013

So , there is this girl....
We have been texting each other for almost 5months .... She has a horrible past.....
And i think i like her

She says she is not ready for a relationship,(its about to be a year , since she broke) ... She says that she loves talking to me and other stuff..... But the thing is..... I want to date her.....

Today she told me that , she had a dream last night in which she was having a foreplay with her ex,.....

How am i suppose to react to all this...... And how do propose her..... Iff possible

Thanks

pur3bloody · Apr 9, 2013

From what I see when you said "she has a horrible past and she's not ready for a relationship, and she had a dream about her ex", she is clearly not a good person that you should have a relationship with so if I were you I'd take things slow. Don't push for a relationship, give her her space and see if she keeps in touch with you

szskateman22 · Apr 9, 2013

pur3bloody said:
From what I see when you said "she has a horrible past and she's not ready for a relationship, and she had a dream about her ex", she is clearly not a good person that you should have a relationship with so if I were you I'd take things slow. Don't push for a relationship, give her her space and see if she keeps in touch with you

We can't assume that she's not a good person to have a relationship with pur3. She's emotionally unstable at the moment due to insecurities about what she did wrong with her ex (I would assume). We also do not know the rest of the situation with the ex (how long they went out, her past with him, etc.). Not to mention her actual past - which we don't know. These all play into an ability to move on and or get hung-up. She is currently in a hung-up stage (which you never want to force someone out of).

The smart play would be to keep a small distance for now (as bloody said).

The matter of the fact is that she needs time to recover. You never want to rush into any sort of relationship (especially when the other person is still hung-up). I have learned this from personal experience and from doing it myself. Allow her to reach out when she wants to and be there when she needs you.

Also... try flirting (or keep it up if you flirt) to see if she enjoys it/responds to it positively. It's a small leeway into building a better connection between the two of you.

Unregistered19 #1245788 · Apr 9, 2013

Well , about her past.,,.

Her bf dumped her after a 10month relationship....

She says that she is attached to me. We also talk on phone .,,. Till late night....

Again bringing under consideration the fact that .... Its been an year since she was dumped.

Thanks

Cabbage · Apr 9, 2013

I can relate to this story. I would suggest maybe getting more deep conversations with her. Don't be afraid to show emotion because that will show her you're more than just that guy she's texts. I would suggest to attempt this at night when she is not doing anything- studies show that people are more thoughtful at night than during the day. Feel free to also share a deep story that you've had happen to you in the past. It will show her you can trust her with something so close to you about it.

And in response to her foreplay dream, "To dream about foreplay indicates your unfulfilled desires and wishes." (Source: http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamd...thod=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=foreplay)
Maybe you could use that as an insight into her. I hope this can help in someway, feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to help in any further way I can.

Guided · Apr 9, 2013

Personal Experience:
I have had an EX who had a terrible past, wish I never went near her, you may believe that she has changed but trust me, deep down they never do.

This girl may be different, I don't know her, just take cautionary measures, don't want you to end up hurting yourself like I did myself.

Unregistered · Apr 11, 2013

Thanks guys , really great advice

She said today that...... Relationships scare her and .... She doesnt have those feelings for any guy which she had for new bf....
Wtf do i infer from it ?

Charm · Apr 13, 2013

Id just go round her place and just go for it, move in and if she's keen she will, if shes dreaming about foreplay shes a slappa and can't be that hard to tame

Lvl 75 Def · Apr 13, 2013

Oh that i'm not ready bs again, just go for it honestly. If she actually isn't you'll notice it fast enough and it shouldn't even be a problem for your friendship.