first things: shoutout to my man grafix, he's gonna be FUCKING BIG y'heard? he rocks his no name $10 pawn shop piece of crap guitar like a motherfucker
Welcome China Lover! Your request has been directed to the Suggestions & Feedback department. Please wait for our operator to answer your call.
Call accepted by operator helen. Currently in room: helen.
helen:
hey,this is Rose,how are you?can i help you?
China Lover:
Hi Rose
helen:
hey
China Lover:
I'm really impressed that you went to the trouble of giving all your child-labourer customer service team anglo-saxon names. It almost makes it almost believable that you aren't working in a sweatshop that reeks of sweat, rice and despair. But here's a suggestion though, don't try to preted that you're all attractive females because 1) this is fucking China I mean "attractive female" and "chinese" would be a fucking contradiction and 2) everyone sort of knows that you abort your female unborn faster than you can say "one child policy" and then use their fetuses to garnish your nation's favourite dish;
"sliced dog served with WW2 era japanese military rations that were left on your god forsaken soil"
China Lover:
just a few suggestions you know
helen:
?
China Lover:
Im sorry, I guess I should buy something, ok how about some computer generated firework footprints that I could use for my awesome light show?
China Lover:
or maybe some smashed tibetan monk skulls, I hear those are in good supply?
helen:
what do you want to say here ?
China Lover:
I want to say here that your nation is fantastic I mean look, you're working 8 year olds on 24hr shifts to sell some laughable virtual items to westerners
China Lover:
truly a fucking superpower for this century
helen:
:O
China Lover:
oh and you called yourself "rose" when it says you're "helen", are you forgetting the made up name you were given, little boy chinese labourer?
China Lover:
the best thing that happened to your country was the fucking japanese invasion
China Lover:
by the way, is your cousin Jackie Chan?
China Lover:
because thats all that anyone in the rest of the world cares about
China Lover:
what's the matter Chairman Mao? Air pollution got your tongue?
helen:
i dont know what are you talking about here
China Lover:
how about this, can I maybe get a song from your website? Preferably one that is lip-synced by an attractive chinese girl but was actually performed by some ugly little girl?
China Lover:
and then maybe the authorities find out and kill both their families and then try to appease the western press with a missile launch or something
China Lover:
WEE CHINNEEESUUH WE SPEAKUH ENGRISH GOOD MISTER LET US HELP YOU WITH YOUR GAME GOLD!!!
China Lover:
HAHAH YOU HAVE BEEN SCAMMED BY THE CHINESEEEEE!!!! WESTERN FOOLS
China Lover:
*goes back to filthy rice paddy filled with acid-rain*
China Lover:
I'm sorry perhaps I have bee a bit disrespectful
China Lover:
maybe you can hire your sweatshop labourers to construct a huge sign that says "We Love Unit 731" for me?
China Lover:
I'll pay good money
