What should I do?

[K-3-V-1-N]

Well, I guess I should start out by saying that I was born into a Roman Catholic family. This is completely fine, but my family is what someone might refer to as "overly religious". I have come to the conclusion, that there is no God. This is something that did not come easily at all, because I was totally drenched with Christianity in my early childhood. A good time ago, I decided to tell my mother about my conclusion, and she did not take it lightly.

I have since been forced to go to Confirmation Classes. They're only once a week, and just for two hours. They are bearable, and it isn't that big of a deal to me to have those couple hours taken away from me. Confirmation, is exactly what it sounds like. As the instructors have informed me for the past year, the ceremony is to confirm a child's faith in the Church. It means that you accept what your parents wanted for you when they baptized you, and you're going to keep going with the faith.

The problem is apparent. I do not believe in a God, and I wish to have nothing more to do with the Catholic Faith. I've tried many times to tell my mother this, but there's nothing that I can say to accept my reasoning. Everytime I attempt to bring up the subject, all I get is how my soul is going to be damned to hell, and the occasional tears.

My question(s) to you, Sythe.. How do I handle this?

Am I supposed to go up there (in a few weeks, mind you) and boldly lie that I accept my Mother's faith?

Was I right in saying anything to her? Should I have kept my silence and gone along with whatever she tells me, until I move out on my own?

How am I to deal with her from now on? Do I pacify her and tell her that I've found my faith again?

 

[Divine blob]

Personally I would tell my parents to F*** off. Its your life. Your parents can't control your religious views on life.

 

[Ookami]

It's quite the situation you're dealing with. I'm into something similar but not as complex. I was baptized into the Catholic faith, but I do not want to convert myself into a religion. I am very open-minded; I accept all religions and respect them.

I know it's hard having parents who tell you that you should accept a religion for whatever reason, be it that it runs in the family or for a personal reason.

You've mentioned that you've expressed your feelings to your mother and that it is not working. A person cannot force anything upon you and your mother needs to respect that. It's not a matter of waiting to move out because the burden will probably always be against you since your mother will still try to make you believe. My personal advice to you is to keep trying to convince your mother. Perhaps getting advice from a gaming forum isn't enough. Maybe you should talk to someone else who would understand. You could always talk to a minister of the church you attend and he will more then likely tell you the same thing: you can believe in what you wish. Just keep talking to your mom with great respect and eventually she will see that you do not want to devote yourself into a religion.

 

[K-3-V-1-N]

It's quite the situation you're dealing with. I'm into something similar but not as complex. I was baptized into the Catholic faith, but I do not want to convert myself into a religion. I am very open-minded; I accept all religions and respect them.

I know it's hard having parents who tell you that you should accept a religion for whatever reason, be it that it runs in the family or for a personal reason.

You've mentioned that you've expressed your feelings to your mother and that it is not working. A person cannot force anything upon you and your mother needs to respect that. It's not a matter of waiting to move out because the burden will probably always be against you since your mother will still try to make you believe. My personal advice to you is to keep trying to convince your mother. Perhaps getting advice from a gaming forum isn't enough. Maybe you should talk to someone else who would understand. You could always talk to a minister of the church you attend and he will more then likely tell you the same thing: you can believe in what you wish. Just keep talking to your mom with great respect and eventually she will see that you do not want to devote yourself into a religion.

Sythe is the only place where I'm sure that I will get responses. Plus, I respect the opinions of alot of the members.

I can try talking to my mother about it again, but life seems so much easier when we're not. After I try to speak to her about it, I can't get a word in edge wise, and any logic I try to push into it is just heard as the "Devil's influences". I don't know man, how can I keep trying to reason with somebody that doesn't see any sort of reason? This doesn't only apply to my Mother, as all my other close family members are in the same field as her.

EDIT: By the way, thank you for responding.

 

[Ookami]

Sythe is the only place where I'm sure that I will get responses. Plus, I respect the opinions of alot of the members.

I can try talking to my mother about it again, but life seems so much easier when we're not. After I try to speak to her about it, I can't get a word in edge wise, and any logic I try to push into it is just heard as the "Devil's influences". I don't know man, how can I keep trying to reason with somebody that doesn't see any sort of reason? This doesn't only apply to my Mother, as all my other close family members are in the same field as her.

EDIT: By the way, thank you for responding.

Well all I can say is that things take time. Calmly explain to your mother all the reasons that make you not want to dedicate yourself into it. If she doesn't want to see reason to it then perhaps try again another time. If she refuses to listen to your opinions then tell her you will not converse until she is ready to listen without interrupting.

Good luck with it all and don't give up. Eventually she will understand that you no longer want to believe in what she does

 

[Darkgroove]

It's confirmation, not conformation.

Tell your mother, if not believing in God is a sin, then lying about it before the priest, the church community and God is an even bigger one.

 

[K-3-V-1-N]

It's confirmation, not conformation.

Tell your mother, if not believing in God is a sin, then lying about it before the priest, the church community and God is an even bigger one.

The problem is that I think she would rather have that then have me go without it. I'm thinking she believes I will convert when I'm older. If I do go through with it, I'm going to feel like a major cunt going in front of everyone and lying through my teeth. I just want to know what I can live with. Which of the lies will be worth it? Again, I've tried every argument imaginable.

Edited confirmation. Firefox betrayed me .

trollXover9000

u

 

[Darkgroove]

The problem is that I think she would rather have that then have me go without it. I'm thinking she believes I will convert when I'm older. If I do go through with it, I'm going to feel like a major cunt going in front of everyone and lying through my teeth. I just want to know what I can live with. Which of the lies will be worth it? Again, I've tried every argument imaginable.

Edited confirmation. Firefox betrayed me .

It's basically a mass, devoted to the people receiving the sacrament. You all stand together and the priest will recite the pledges, and you say I do, or I will. Can't remember exactly.(if you're taking the sacrament, you should be agreeing with what the priest is saying). Then you each have a short conversation with the priest in which you tell him which Saint's name you have chosen and why, then you get blessed and the mass continues.

Lying to a priest, and God, so that you can receive a sacrament that is intended for people who DO believe in God definitely won't save your soul. Tell her Jesus didn't receive confirmation

 

[Shroom Thrash]

Many people are in the situation as you, it's sad that some people are born into a family of fanatics and there is little room for self choice. Nobody can decide for you as they are not in your position and do not understand the extremes your parents may go to in protecting your "faith."

 

[†Tysonâ€Â]

I'd seriously do this:

Tell your parents to fuck off, that you've had enough of their bullshit and you don't want to waste your time pretending some dickhead exists when he doesn't.



You may as well stand up to them now and get it over with. If you seem really really angry and fed up with everything then they'll take you seriously etc.

 

[Shroom Thrash]

I'd seriously do this:

Tell your parents to fuck off, that you've had enough of their bullshit and you don't want to waste your time pretending some dickhead exists when he doesn't.



You may as well stand up to them now and get it over with. If you seem really really angry and fed up with everything then they'll take you seriously etc.

You obviously don't understand a thing about religious fanatics or their family life, that would be the most stupid and irrational action for OP to take.

 

[Infernal Dave]

My brother had the same problem, but he waited until he was out of the house. He told my parents that he didn't believe in the God that was portrayed in Christianity.

I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't try to bring it up many times. I think my brother told them after he left the house was so my parents would not lose their relationship. So far, it's working.

 

[Wilson1992]

If you seriously deny god's existence, hide it then.As long as you live under your parent's roof and use their money it is wiser you respect their expectation of you then to conflict with them.

 

[K-3-V-1-N]

If you seriously deny god's existence, hide it then.As long as you live under your parent's roof and use their money it is wiser you respect their expectation of you then to conflict with them.

I'm not denying God's existence, because for the purpose of this conversation one doesn't exist. I seriously don't want this becoming a religious debate. If you want that, go talk to the big boys in SFA.

I see a point in lying for the sake of peace, but it still is kind of lame that my family would reject me for something like this. If I was gay (or some thing else Christians are strongly against), along with this, I think they would all disown me. Unconditional love is something I think I would naturally give to my children, wouldn't you?

 

[Darkgroove]

I'm not denying God's existence, because for the purpose of this conversation one doesn't exist. I seriously don't want this becoming a religious debate. If you want that, go talk to the big boys in SFA.

I see a point in lying for the sake of peace, but it still is kind of lame that my family would reject me for something like this. If I was gay (or some thing else Christians are strongly against), along with this, I think they would all disown me. Unconditional love is something I think I would naturally give to my children, wouldn't you?

I don't understand why you agree to go to the "classes" if you think what they're preaching about God isn't true? All you're doing is prolonging a larger argument. Do you know why she wants you to have confirmation? Besides attempting to save your soul.

 

[god69er]

i will never understand cults like this that read you fairy tales from a book and expect you to believe them because its called the bible.

 

[lยкє]

yeah it is right that you spoke the truth tbh if they keep going on at you i would just ignore them and get on with your life

 

[SuF]

Repair your relationship with your parents... How you will do that is up to you. Your life will be much better if you do something now. :/

 

[Darkgroove]

yeah it is right that you spoke the truth tbh if they keep going on at you i would just ignore them and get on with your life

He can't, because they're forcing him to do stuff like confirmation to try to reaffirm the faith in him.

 

[b1b]

Am I supposed to go up there (in a few weeks, mind you) and boldly lie that I accept my Mother's faith?

Lie. Best way to repair the relationship. Your parents are obviously not going to accept you the way you are. Keep your views to yourself, andf then once you move out, go worship the flying spaghetti monster >.>. But seriously, even after you turn 18 they'll still be on your back.

Was I right in saying anything to her? Should I have kept my silence and gone along with whatever she tells me, until I move out on my own?

I guess silence would have been the better option here. You should of not said anything, and then move out etc. etc.

How am I to deal with her from now on? Do I pacify her and tell her that I've found my faith again?

PACIFICATION. "You've found the error in your ways." "You've come to the conclusion the is a God." etc. etc.

Also, Hai Kevin.