Reported Post by owain jones

[owain jones]

owain jones has reported a post.

Reason:

This is not the time nor the place, there have been many deaths this week.

Post: How To Kill Yourself!
Forum: User Submitted Guides
Assigned Moderators: R33l2r3al

Posted by: Programmer
Original Content:

How to kill yourself.

Hello everyone, well suicide rates have been going up. And I'm here to help YOU kill yourself without just shooting the front of your face off, getting your stomach pumped, or just having a broken rope.

Things you will need:

Rope.
Loaded Gun.
Pills. (Advil, Vikes, Oxys, E)

First let's start with a rope.
http://www.bizrate.com/search__keyword--manilla+rope.html

That will do just fine, or look around the house and find something strong you can use. Now follow these steps, to successfully tie what is called a "Noose"

1. Lay the rope in a big "u".
2. Bring one end of the loop down parallel to the original rope, forming a wide, sideways, "S". The lead (left side of diagram) should be left long, so that it might be tied to something when the noose is completed.
3. Hold the bottom of the original "u" and wrap the end of the rope (right side of the diagram) around the loop several times, from the bottom near your hand, up.
4. Poke the end of the rope through the top of the loop left by the "S".
5. Pull the right hand side of the 'u' through the coil that you have just created, until it securely holds the end of the rope.

TADA! Now you run off and "Hang" HAHA (No pun intended).

Let's move onto the gun. Shooting yourself can sometimes be hard and frustrating. What can happen is, the air and pressure can push the gun forward from the blast, and just blow your face off. Then that just leaves a mess. You have to wipe it up. Then tell the neighbors that you got mauled by a bear.

Proper way to blow your brains out with all the fuss! Load the gun and stick it to your temple. Lean yourself against wall because again, pressure can just blast your skull open when air tilts it up. Turn your head to an angle, and BLAST OFF! You're in hell!

Congratulations, you've just killed yourself.

Finally PILLS!
No one likes to OD on E and get there stomach pumped, you only end up in a Psych ward! Buy about 30 E pills. Just bomb them. You will most definatly die. That one is fast, and leaves you high and mighty till death.

PRO TIP: USE THE GUN AND GO OUT WITH A BANG! (STILL NO PUN INTENDED)

 

[MegaMatt]

Thread already deleted, thanks anyway