Adblock breaks this site

Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blupig, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
    $5 USD Donor

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Posts:
    7,145
    Referrals:
    16
    Sythe Gold:
    1,609
    Discord Unique ID:
    178533992981594112
    Valentine's Singing Competition Winner Member of the Month Winner MushyMuncher Gohan has AIDS Extreme Homosex World War 3 I'm LAAAAAAAME
    Off Topic Participant
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Hello! I wrote a bit of a depressing poem about zombies.

    The Living Dead -
     
  2. Sypherz

    Sypherz Legend
    $5 USD Donor New Retired Sectional Moderator Competition Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2008
    Posts:
    23,745
    Referrals:
    1
    Sythe Gold:
    622
    Discord Unique ID:
    1303476485860098070
    M
    Sythe's 10th Anniversary
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    I enjoyed that. And really respect the ability to write anything. I've tried to write poetry before but I can't. As far as the arts go I have Music and Theatre down my belt, but nothing else works for me.
     
  3. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
    $5 USD Donor

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Posts:
    7,145
    Referrals:
    16
    Sythe Gold:
    1,609
    Discord Unique ID:
    178533992981594112
    Valentine's Singing Competition Winner Member of the Month Winner MushyMuncher Gohan has AIDS Extreme Homosex World War 3 I'm LAAAAAAAME
    Off Topic Participant
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Well if you can write songs, they're essentially the same thing. The idea behind a song or a story is to be direct, and to bluntly explain the events. A poem tends to bend toward mystery, metaphors, and imagery to wane in the events to the reader. If you can write songs, take the rhyming aspect and warp the wording a bit to not let the reader know what's fully going on just yet. Lots of description, too, but never with repetition of words. Some mainstream songs nowadays rhyme the same words together, or different spellings (like to and too), which is a big no-no and ruins the piece.

    Just some advice ^_^
     
  4. Droppin' Pl8's

    Droppin' Pl8's Forum Addict
    Banned

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Posts:
    543
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    very nice it flowed very well.
     
  5. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
    $5 USD Donor

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Posts:
    7,145
    Referrals:
    16
    Sythe Gold:
    1,609
    Discord Unique ID:
    178533992981594112
    Valentine's Singing Competition Winner Member of the Month Winner MushyMuncher Gohan has AIDS Extreme Homosex World War 3 I'm LAAAAAAAME
    Off Topic Participant
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Thanks! I like putting rhythm in my writing
     
  6. Au revoir

    Au revoir Apprentice
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Posts:
    721
    Referrals:
    1
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    very good mann!!!!

    i wish icould write poems :(
     
  7. Gurtaton

    Gurtaton Grand Master

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Posts:
    2,912
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Only typo I saw. But other than that, the words you used were very simple, and yet the thoughts felt so deep and easy to understand. Is this your first poem?
     
  8. TheBailey

    TheBailey Forum Addict
    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2011
    Posts:
    481
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    enjoyed it mate you got alot of things in it i forget what you call them metaphors and something else Im bad at english lol :D
     
  9. ClazzD

    ClazzD Guru
    $5 USD Donor New

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Posts:
    1,140
    Referrals:
    1
    Sythe Gold:
    9
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    mm this is actually really good
    im not much of a writer myself but i appreciate good writing when i see it
     
  10. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
    $5 USD Donor

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Posts:
    7,145
    Referrals:
    16
    Sythe Gold:
    1,609
    Discord Unique ID:
    178533992981594112
    Valentine's Singing Competition Winner Member of the Month Winner MushyMuncher Gohan has AIDS Extreme Homosex World War 3 I'm LAAAAAAAME
    Off Topic Participant
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Lol good eye, and na been writing since I was around 12, took about a 4 year break in between though :p Thanks for the feedback

    Thanks! I'm glad people actually like it lol
     
  11. Wizpaper

    Wizpaper Member
    Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2011
    Posts:
    25
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    Poem I wrote - "The Living Dead"

    Its alrightt, Try to get it in a book or movie. :)
     
< 50kg scrotum | Should i get an iphone 4S? 2qewrthjkhgfdswq CANT decide !! -.- :( :( >


 
 
Adblock breaks this site