Hi guys , I have issues with pornography I m 25 years old , my girlfriend and me cant have any sex cuz of religion rules , we have to get married , but she doesnt want to get married but she wants to be with me , and I hate porno , but in the same time Im watching it, I want to quit watching porn and became more selfcontrolled in my life, I tried many times , it always come back to the same circle, how do I get out from it any advice ?
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- Thread starter bodia
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Jeez man. All of this sounds unhealthy in a lot of way, but more so you just sound miserable and unhappy. At very first you state that you're unable to have premarital sex due to your/her "religious rules". To be honest it kinda sounds like you really don't care too much about the religion/code it enforces and I might presume you only attend/abide for the girl you're currently seeing. That's an extremely hard thing to do, and I can understand that (my wife was LDS/Mormon when we first started dating, and it created a lot of tension). Secondly, is there a reason she doesn't want to get married? Have you not been dating long enough or is there other reasons? Do you see yourselves being married in the future? If she isn't down for the long haul, then it might be more toxic than good to begin with. If sex is important to you (which to many people and cultures it is, and that's okay), then maybe reconsider your relationship or the rules you set for it? To be honest it doesn't sound to me like you need restraint from pornography, it sounds like you're trying to use the idea of pornography addiction to reconcile a difficult relationship situation. I don't necessarily think pornography is harmful unless it's interfering with your job/life in a way that is negative. Maybe you need to just sit down with your partner and discuss what you both want out of the relationship and continue from there. Either way I wish you the best of luck man!
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Personally I was going through the same issue a few years ago before getting married. That short period when you meet someone new and you know they're your person but your religious mindset doesn't match up. You want sex and she doesn't approve because of religion. if you read the Holy Bible checkout 1 Corinthians 6:18 sexual immorality a sin you must flee from as a man its something we cannot fight you must pray and fast. Others might have different opinions on the topic but me personally prayer and fasting works its breaks chains! Gl on your fight bud.
Take care and stay safe
Pornogrophy is addictive, theres no easy way around it, you just gotta quit watching it. Distract yourself with other activities so that you don't think of it/get tempted back into it. Good luck!
EDIT; You might wanna start off by watching youtube guides/speak to a councelor.
EDIT; You might wanna start off by watching youtube guides/speak to a councelor.
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Tough subject here, i am religious and a christian however i still watch pornography in a relationship. You just have to come to the realization maybe that if she doesnt want to get married, and you do.. why doesn't she want to get married? is she scared you might not be the right person?
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You state you cannot have sex due to religion. Is she opposed to blowjobs? Is she opposed to using the 'poop hole loop hole' (anal sex)?
If one or both of the above aren't enough to satisfy you, or if she's unwilling to provide one or both of the above in place of vaginal intercourse, I'd suggest ending the relationship.
I only suggest that because what you have said about yourself and your situation. You clearly have a strong desire for more and your values are clearly very different from one another. This isn't a bad thing - this simply means that in at least 2 areas of your relationship you are very different and may have a much easier time getting along well with other people.
Don't interpret what I said above as some sort of ultimatum you should give. Don't walk up to her and say "Let me put it in your mouth or butt or I'm leaving you"...have a meaningful conversation with her (if these things haven't come up already), talking about how you feel and try to find an alternate solution that both of you are comfortable with.
See how it goes and take it from there.
If one or both of the above aren't enough to satisfy you, or if she's unwilling to provide one or both of the above in place of vaginal intercourse, I'd suggest ending the relationship.
I only suggest that because what you have said about yourself and your situation. You clearly have a strong desire for more and your values are clearly very different from one another. This isn't a bad thing - this simply means that in at least 2 areas of your relationship you are very different and may have a much easier time getting along well with other people.
Don't interpret what I said above as some sort of ultimatum you should give. Don't walk up to her and say "Let me put it in your mouth or butt or I'm leaving you"...have a meaningful conversation with her (if these things haven't come up already), talking about how you feel and try to find an alternate solution that both of you are comfortable with.
See how it goes and take it from there.
This exactly. Keeping yourself so busy that you are extremely exhausetd by the end of the day and you don't have time to think about it. Win-win, productivity + helping the problem you described.
Agree with everyone else. Just keep busy.
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Whenever you get the urge, get up and do something productive. I see this advice a lot over the internet, give it a try
Goodluck
Goodluck