Need Advice...

Some of you might know by now that I'm in some legal trouble over child support, but at once many of you don't I'll explain it again...

I have a child who I never see. The mother invited me over twice to see my daughter, and both times called the cops and said I told her I was coming over to kill her or some stupid shit like that... Both times I still had the text messages on my phone, so managed to avoid getting into trouble. However, she didn't get in trouble for false police report or whatever either, and the second time the cop even told me I obviously wasn't welcome there and to never come back... In other words, the cop told me I had no right to want to see my own kid.

I've got jail-house tattoos all over my hands and arms, so that's not helping with my job situation... I've looked VIGOROUSLY for a job since I was 18, however did not get my G.E.D. (high school diploma equivalent if you're not from america) until I was 20. I thought things were going to turn up, I'd finally get a job, finally get my life on track... However, 5 months after getting my G.E.D. I was arrested for non-support, or in other words, not having a job.

I was given a class D felony for not paying child support. The judge, my probation officer, everyone promised me that because it was only child support, it would not affect me obtaining a job... Bull fucking shit.

Since then I have been rejected from 8+ jobs for having a felony! They don't care why, the last place that I called and they said they could not hire me due to failing my background check.... After being rejected from at least 7 jobs before this, maybe more, I honestly lost fucking track, I got a little bit of an attitude and demanded they tell me why... All they said was I had a felony, when I asked if they even knew what the felony was for, he told me that they are not given that information, the background check simply came back saying "felony".

I'm on a suspended something or another... It's called SIS Probation. When I took the plea deal the judge explained to me that this means I AM NOT convicted of a felony, and will NOT be convicted unless I fail my probation and he sends me to prison.... So why the fuck is this felony on my record? I've been told by many that even in an SIS case, it DOES show up on back ground checks, however it will be removed from my record when I complete probation.... That sounds a little more like I've been convicted but the conviction will disappear once I complete my probation.

However, I have done a lot of internet research and there has been many people asking about it on forums alllllll over the internet.... And some of them were told it will no longer be on their record, others were told it will ALWAYS be on their record, but most were told it would remain on their record but only be visible to legal figures, such as judges, for if they were to get into more trouble.... So this question is ONLY for people have been on an SIS probation sentence (for anything, not just child support), were the charges against you removed from your record? Were employers able to view the charges?


Now, I'm having A LOT of issues in court... I do everything they ask of me... The judge also explained that in the SIS, he could throw me into prison at any time he so wished, if he truly wanted to, he could wait until the final day of my 5 year probation and then throw me into prison for another 5 years. So I mind my manors, I do as I'm told, I do every little fucking thing I can in order to please the court.

My probation conditions: Look for and maintain a job, pay child support, abide by all laws, state and federal.

Firstly, I had lost my license when I was 19. I was in a car and the cops found a grinder with a little weed powder in the bottom, not even enough to smoke, a fucking pinch of pot..... The person whose weed it was we all knew would not accept the blame... The girl whose car it was was leaving for college the next day, and the other girl in the car was pregnant... The cop said if someone did not claim it, they were going to charge all of us with possession of marijuana, being the kind of guy I am... I took the fall... (the grinder was mine, the weed belonged to the worthless girl that would never take the blame... In fact, afterwards she told me that if I so much as mentioned her name she was going to report alot of the shit I've done and didn't get caught doing) and Missouri has a "no tolerance law" where if I'm under the age of 21 and caught with any illegal substance, if I'm driving or not, I lose my license to drive. The court made me pay over $1,000 to get my license back. Well, they made my grandfather pay over $1,000, if I had a thousand bucks, I would of paid some child support long before I got arrested...

So at this point, the court has already made me do 1 thing that was NOT in my probation conditions... but there's plenty more.

But first, I'll tell about what happened just last time I went to court (January 22nd 2014), there was another man taking a plea deal for probation... Same as I did... The missouri state minimum is $206.00 a month in child support. This man was 36 years old, has a minimum wage job... They wanted to make him pay the same as me, 300 a month, 206 payment + 94 towards the backed child support each month.... Now, this man, who has a job, while I do not, was not given the same deal... When asked if I could pay 300 a month I said I didn't have enough money, the judge, the same fucking judge, told me "well, you'll pay it or you'll sit in prison"... But this man, said pretty much the exact same thing... Said he only works minimum wage, won't have enough to give them 300 a month.... so the judge set it so he only has to pay 100 a month + 100 towards the backed... 200 bucks total a month and he has a mother fucking job!

Things the court has made me do not listed in my probation conditions: Get my license, take a tour of the prison, do community service (I was given 100+ hours to complete a total of 3 times now in the past year and 6 months), return to court once a month for the past year and 6 months (my probation officer has told me multiple times she has never seen them make someone come back except for 1 or 2 "show causes" to prove they are looking for a job)... and now the big one....

After this mad had gotten away with paying $100 less a month than I have to, I was called up, as usual, the judge and prosecutor treated me like a dog, mocking me for letting my "mommy" pay my child support to keep me out of prison, and then the judge told me I have until March 19th to either find a full time job, not temporary (I've had 1 temp job since I was arrested), nor part time... FULL time.... or, get enrolled in the community college to further my education in order to find a full time job.

Now, if I had money to go to college, I'd have money to pay child support... I tried to explain to the judge that I could not afford college and it really doesn't look like anyone is willing to hire me... He told me to get a pell grant and go to college because if I do not have a job or am going to school by my next court date (march 19th) they are going to "take action"....

I did some research on the college that's about 5 miles away, I take care of my grandparets so am unable to travel further than that for a long period of time... It's only a 2 year community college, I am REQUIRED to take so many courses in order to earn certain degrees, for example, to become a welder, and this is only to get a certificate to work as a welder, not the AAS degree in welding... I have to take:

Required Courses:
welding I
welding II
Engineering drawing
blueprint reading
computer-aided design
fund. of indust. maintenance
industrial safety and health
Machine tool I
machine tool II
technical mathematics or college algebra

I have to COMPLETE all of those classes + 1 directed elective, which I will not list all of them.

Classes start at $500.00 per class.... A pell grant will give me a MAXIMUM of $5,600.00 now, for those 10 classes + elective I would need 55 hundred... However, because I live with my mother, my only bill is child support, which I do not even pay on my own, I will NOT qualify for the maximum amount, I'd probably be lucky to get 3 grand, leaving me needing $2,500.00


I've always wanted to be an auto-mechanic, more specifically, a Harley Davidson mechanic, but due to lack of schools in my area, and no actual Harley shops for 30+ miles around... I knew I'd have to settle for a general auto mechanic... I do not know much about fixing cars... I want to, I love cars, I love looking at the engines and watching people work on them, however, I just know very little of doing so myself... So when the judge told me about this, I contacted an old friend who I know went to school to become an automechanic... Sadly, he did not go to the community college because they do NOT offer a mechanic class, welding is the closest to any kind of industrial work I can get at this college... And even worse, he paid $12,000 for school... TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS to become a general auto mechanic making $15.00 per hour, less than my mom makes at the factory, and she didn't go to college.... Most of factories around here that start at between 13 and 15 bucks an hour.... However none of them would hire me, two of which turned me down for having a felony...

So now "look for a job" is no longer good enough, they might as well just scratch that off the paper listing my probation conditions... Because now, I have to HAVE one in a little over 1 month, or enroll in college.... Considering welding would require me to work at one of these factories that will not hire me (and if they had, I would have been sent to school for welding at no cost to me) the only industrial activity I can learn to do around here, is not possible for me, because it will not help me get a job...

Yes, I could take welding, and when my grandparents pass away, which with their conditions, I'm sad to say will most likely be in the next 5 years, I could move away to a job that will hire me, however, still not having a job in those years they are a live, will seemingly get me put in prison.

I hate for people to help me. I like to be alone in things, I like to fix my own problems most of the time... It makes me feel low enough having my mother pay $300/month so I won't go to prison... It makes me feel helpless and like I'm just completely worthless... I want to pay it myself, it's MY job to pay it, but I do understand that I am unable to pay it so I let her pay it for me. But the judge and prosecutor "making fun of me" for doing so, does not help my feelings of worthlessness. And after my last court date, my mom told my grandfather what was said, that I have to do 1 of those 2 things they're going to "take action" (obviously they care more about intimidating me and making my life hard than they care about getting their money, sorry to say, but if I'm sitting in a prison cell, NO ONE is going to be giving them $300/month or any money at all).

But now, after that last court date, my grandfather's gotten pretty sick of the bullshit... He wants to pay off the remaining backed support, $4,600.00, to get me off probation so the felony will be gone and I'll be able to find a job and won't be treated like shit by these richy bitches in suits that talk down to me to make up for "lacking" something else... I don't want him to pay that... he paid my bail for pot, he paid to get my license back, he paid the 500 bail which he did not get back when I got arrested for child support (it went to backed child support instead of him getting it back when I went to court like normal bail), and now he's wantin to hand me almost 5 grand just to get away from this shit. I hate the idea that other people are always "protecting" me and pulling me out of trouble. I want nothing more than to be my own person and get out of trouble on my own and not let everyone else save me when shit falls apart. But when grandpa tries to do something for you, you don't say no.... It won't be allowed, if I told him no, he'd just contact the child support, tell them he was paying it for me and give them the money himself... I have no real choice in the matter...

However, I know that I CAN stop him... If they will not let me off probation, he will not pay it because there would be no point in paying... I'd still be in the same situation and he'd be out 5 grand. Now I have to admit, even though I hate the idea of him paying it, I hate the idea that I can't even take care of myself... The thought of being ABLE to find a job, being able to smoke pot once and awhile, being free again... It makes the idea more bearable... He made me ask my PO this morning if I'd get off probation if the backed was paid off, she said "I don't see why they would keep you on probation, but I also don't see why they're making you come back over and over again. It's ultimately up to the judge. You'd have to ask him on your next court date."

So, I guess I'll ask the judge on March 19th, however, I do have to at least have my pell grant forms filled out by then, so even if I do get off probation, I'm still going to go to college if I can get enough money... If I can find an area I'm interested in doing, I'll take a student loan, though I'll most likely just be in debt the rest of my life doing that...

I don't really know what I would choose to do, so I thought I'd explain a little about myself here and ask people what they believe I'd do best in.

I enjoy writing. I've written a fantasy novel, but have not released it, I've given out demo copies and review copies here on sythe, but I want to get my name out, write some short stories and give them away for free so that when I put my novel on itunes or whatever, I'll actually sell some because people will know they enjoy my writing. Like I said, I enjoy industrial work, I like to get dirty and do hard work, but I keep thinking to myself if I can't do what I want to do (work on cars or Harleys) that I'll just do something easy because if I can't do what I WANT, then fuck it, why work hard for my money?

As far as writing goes, fighting with depression anyway, and all this shit with court and probation has made me to where I cannot get motivated to write, so I have wrote no short stories to give out for free. I've thought a lot about taking a literacy class to help improve my writing skills, but do to selling books online not really being considered a "job", it would not be towards a certificate or degree and would most likely just be another $500 class that I can't afford, but believe it is something I'd really enjoy taking. If I take a different course, such as some kind of business management or something, would anyone thing I should pursue this thing I want and further build myself in writing?

At once I've almost already decided on finding something easy, I should say the learning part in any of these courses will be easy for me. I was an A student in school until I dropped out. All through school I was on the honor roll and for the most part, maintained a 4.0 grade point average. I even passed my GED test first try having only attended the very minimum hours of the class, I was praised at graduation for being the quickest student to come in and complete the GED. I have a very, very unhealthy fascination with history, mainly the years of 400BC - 1600BC, I know enough that when I watch the history channel series "vikings" that I pick out historical inaccuracies and go as far as to complain on their website/facebook that they got the information wrong. I also fascinate in religion. I know the history of all of the christ-based religions as well as jewish religion and a good number of pagan religions, I consider myself a Nordic Pagan, which is what causes me to research vikings and their beliefs so fervently. However, I believe in my state it is impossible to become a teacher with a drug charge, so even though I believe I could go as far as giving college lectures about the norse people, their beliefs, their wars and the christian crusades that attempted to wipe them out, I do not qualify as I have possession of marijuana on my record, which in Missouri, is still considered a narcotic.

At one time, I wanted to be a tattoo artist, but I'm not the best at drawing... I can trace just fine and could easily do outlines for tattoos, but I never have understood how to shade correctly, this would also require me to take anatomy, art and then apprentice under a tattoo artist for at least 1 year before I could be granted a tattooing license, which I do not believe the courts would go for the apprenticeship as it would be unpaid.

I can do anything on a computer, programs I don't know how to learn I can learn VERY quickly. I make mods for skyrim and taught myself how to use the Blender 3d modeling software in under 1 week. My mother also said she THINKS they used to teach classes on how to work on computers, and there's many computer repair shops in town I could possibly work for if I knew how to do such a thing and DO personally believe I would enjoy that type of work...

I'm good at money management, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone working in a bank covered in tattoos... So that's probably out the door as well... I do plan on talking to this guy at the college... With it being a community college I doubt he's actually called the "dean" but, the college gave me his card, and told me he could give me any information, as to what fields would be hiring the most, which would suit me the best, etc etc. So I will be talking to him before making a final decision, but would still like some input and ideas of what the people here at sythe would think fits me...

I will not list the different classes, only the different degrees/certificates as to what the college offers from their catalog, because, for example... I haven't looked at all of these... I have no idea what classes are included in what degrees... But I want to do things right, I want to take it all of the way, so if I did decide to go with say.... Computer repair... And there was a computer repair class included in earning the industrial technology degree... I would indeed go for the full degree/certificate or whatever... (I do not know what an industrial technology degree would open up job wise, I do not know if that would include working on computers, I know very, very little about college and what all the degrees are, I simple used that as an example).

If you want to reply and say you think one of these might be good for me to look into, please explain what someone with that kind of degree would do for a job, like for example, just a wild guess here, a Business Accounting Technology certificate/degree would allow me to become an accountant. (dont bother correcting that if it's wrong, if it's right, don't even suggest it. I don't think with my background and crappy-jail house tattoos, I would qualify to be an accountant...)



Business Accounting Technology
Business and Office Technology
Computer Information Technology
Drafting Design Technology
Early Childhood Education (I'm going to guess not possible with my drug charge)
Graphic Arts Technology
Industrial Technology
Marketing/Management
Welding and Metals Technology




Do you guys think I should accept the money from my grandfather? Or lie to him and tell him it won't get me off probation even if the judge DOES say it will? I worry it'll make me rely on other people even more, which is something I do not want to happen...

 

Add me on skype, we can talk informally.

 

If I were in your shoes, I'd borrow the money from your grandpa and pay him it all back when I get a job after the felony is off the record as you say it will be. I can't suggest much about college and careers as I'm not going to be of much help there. You're in a tough position. Keep trying and you'll be out of this mess soon hopefully. Good luck man.

 

Sorry whatitdo, just now seeing these replies, but am going to meet with the guy at the college today, will just see what all he says about what would be best for being hired in this area and probably just go with it even if it's something I don't really want to do. Thanks for the advice DMR, I will highly consider it when asking the judge if they'd let me off probation.