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Synful

Dragon Slayer

Banned
Joined
May 24, 2012
Sythe Gold
0
Messages
441
GTgcK.png
 
Sythe Awards 2009 Winner
I am writing this letter to persuade you that Synful's fixation on poststructuralism is nothing more than camouflage for a lack of original ideas. I will persuade you of this by providing a few examples and illustrations of the way in which Synful seeks to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in his logic because he indisputably doesn't use any logic. If we're not careful, his vilipensive conjectures will throw us into a third world war as soon as our backs are turned. Never have I seen such a gross error in judgment as his decision to pilfer the national treasure. If Synful could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to cause (or at least contribute to) a variety of social ills. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Synful's phalanx of simple-minded energumens is filled with weak-willed, manipulable smatchets who believe Synful's story that his castigators are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that this is clear to every knowledgeable observer. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Synful in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that Synful's protégés are too lazy to break away from the peloton and resolve our disputes without violence. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that we need to ensure that Synful receives his just deserts. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to get the Synful monkey off our backs and off other people's backs as well.

Synful's sympathizers are united by only two things. Want to guess what those are? They're a deep-seated sense of victimization and a burning desire to establish rack-and-thumbscrew programs. Aside from those two things, the members of Synful's plunderbund have little in common. Surprisingly, some of them even realize that this is just simple math. That is, if A is more jealous than B, and B is more jealous than C, then A is more jealous than C, right? In case you don't have the secret decoder ring, A is a hideous slave to fashion; B is a sententious flapadosha; and C is Synful.

If Synful manages to spoon-feed us his pabulum, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that there are two sorts of people in this world. There are those who lead us into an age of shoddiness?shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people?and there are those who demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Synful. Synful fits neatly into the former category, of course. We must, in one voice, cry out that we will not tolerate his slatternly personal attacks. It's a pity. Particularly telling is the way that I oppose, deplore, and disavow discrimination, extremism, and hatred of every kind. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Synful's biased, impulsive squibs. Finally, if this letter generates a response from someone of opposing viewpoints, I would hope that the author(s) concentrate on offering objections to my ideas while refraining from attacks on my person or my intelligence. I've gotten enough of that already from Synful.
 
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Roman"]t[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="System"]t[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Franklin Gothic Medium"]e[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Times New Roman"]n[/font][/color] [color="#fd0000"][font="Courier New"]e[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Garamond"]n[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Arial"]o[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Fixedsys"]u[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Arial"]g[/font][/color][color="#fd0000"][font="Garamond"]h[/font][/color] [color="#fe0000"][font="Palatino Linotype"]o[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Arial Narrow"]f[/font][/color] [color="#fe0000"][font="Trebuchet MS"]t[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Lucida Sans Unicode"]h[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Garamond"]a[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Lucida Console"]t[/font][/color] [color="#fe0000"][font="Franklin Gothic Medium"]a[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Impact"]l[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Impact"]r[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Comic Sans MS"]e[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="Fixedsys"]a[/font][/color][color="#fe0000"][font="System"]d[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Book Antiqua"]y[/font][/color] [color="#ff0000"][font="Arial Black"]f[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Arial Black"]r[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Courier New"]o[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Arial"]m[/font][/color] [color="#ff0000"][font="Garamond"]S[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Microsoft Sans Serif"]y[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Verdana"]n[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Trebuchet MS"]f[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="System"]u[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Century Gothic"]l[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Lucida Console"].[/font][/color][color="#ff0000"][font="Times New Roman"][/font][/color]

dat color.
 
I am writing this letter to persuade you that Synful's fixation on poststructuralism is nothing more than camouflage for a lack of original ideas. I will persuade you of this by providing a few examples and illustrations of the way in which Synful seeks to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in his logic because he indisputably doesn't use any logic. If we're not careful, his vilipensive conjectures will throw us into a third world war as soon as our backs are turned. Never have I seen such a gross error in judgment as his decision to pilfer the national treasure. If Synful could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to cause (or at least contribute to) a variety of social ills. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Synful's phalanx of simple-minded energumens is filled with weak-willed, manipulable smatchets who believe Synful's story that his castigators are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that this is clear to every knowledgeable observer. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Synful in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that Synful's protégés are too lazy to break away from the peloton and resolve our disputes without violence. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that we need to ensure that Synful receives his just deserts. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to get the Synful monkey off our backs and off other people's backs as well.

Synful's sympathizers are united by only two things. Want to guess what those are? They're a deep-seated sense of victimization and a burning desire to establish rack-and-thumbscrew programs. Aside from those two things, the members of Synful's plunderbund have little in common. Surprisingly, some of them even realize that this is just simple math. That is, if A is more jealous than B, and B is more jealous than C, then A is more jealous than C, right? In case you don't have the secret decoder ring, A is a hideous slave to fashion; B is a sententious flapadosha; and C is Synful.

If Synful manages to spoon-feed us his pabulum, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that there are two sorts of people in this world. There are those who lead us into an age of shoddiness?shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people?and there are those who demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Synful. Synful fits neatly into the former category, of course. We must, in one voice, cry out that we will not tolerate his slatternly personal attacks. It's a pity. Particularly telling is the way that I oppose, deplore, and disavow discrimination, extremism, and hatred of every kind. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Synful's biased, impulsive squibs. Finally, if this letter generates a response from someone of opposing viewpoints, I would hope that the author(s) concentrate on offering objections to my ideas while refraining from attacks on my person or my intelligence. I've gotten enough of that already from Synful.

Thanks for the effort, but I cbf reading it =S
 
Sythe Awards 2009 Winner
dat color.

What would I do without Smper to provide me with a nonstop source of obnoxious modes of thought to complain about? Let me make clear what is foremost on my mind and what the focus of this letter will be: there's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will undoubtedly persist as long as Smper continues to acquire public acceptance of his audacious pranks. The most disagreeable chawbacons I've ever seen suffer from a collective self-image that prefers victimization to success and imposes a suffocating group conformity that ostracizes nonconformists. I know because I have experienced that personally.

Society must soon decide either to empower the oppressed to control their own lives or else to let Smper fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that that's not the most frightening thing about Smper. Have you heard that he and his peuplade are unable to engage in any sort of discussion without resorting to vicious, internecine squabbling? I find information like that disturbing on so many levels that I can't help but want to tell you a little bit about Smper and his Pecksniffian barbs.

Human nature being what it is, it is not surprising that I have no idea why Smper believes that everything will be hunky-dory if we let him create a beachhead for organized antinomianism. Perhaps the thought popped into his head during omphaloskepsis. In any case, Smper has been known to say that his nemeses are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. That notion is so incompetent, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Perhaps if he thought about it, he'd realize that rigid adherence to dogmatic purity will lead only to disunity while we clearly need unity to make this world a better place in which to live. To most people, the idea that Smper's morals represent a calculated assault on diversity within our community is so endemic, so long ingrained, that when others conclude that the quest to understand how he can be so harebrained raises far more questions than it answers, this merely seems to be affirming an obvious truth. If Smper hadn't been waffling on all the issues, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out pulling back the curtains on Smper's wheelings and dealings and showing them for what they really are. In any case, Smper is a hard worker. He works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on his insidious whinges. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, Smper's hastily mounted campaigns can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Smper still has the ability to inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan's hordes.

If it is not yet clear that Smper's stuporous fantasy fits neatly into his naive model of society, then consider that knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with pesky, foolish televangelists on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to convince innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction. Smper's daft doctrines are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of metagrobolism are blooming all around us. Trumpeted so many times, Smper's fairy tales have begun to feed on themselves, to generate their own publicity, to cow Smper's enemies not by argument but by sheer repetition, and to elevate Smper's undertakings to prominence as epistemological principles. Smper's plan is to dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. Smper's thralls are moving at a frightening pace toward the total implementation of that agenda, which includes promoting vilipensive ideologies such as nosism. In light of my stance on this issue, when I say that the absurdity of Smper's plaints did not dawn on me until I realized that even Smper must concede that his paroxysms are revolting in theory and scummy in practice, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that his etatism movement consists entirely of lovable, cuddly people who would never dream of sugarcoating the past and dispensing false optimism for the future. This is a common fallacy held by virulent erastophiliacs.

Although we can occasionally tie the retailers of sanguinolent new claims to older fabrications, there is unfortunately no shortage of new rumor. In plain, simple-to-understand English, Smper drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes him sound smarter than he really is and obscures the fact that when Smper says that he is a spokesman for God, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. Smper, get a life! What we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person?every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility?must concern himself with it.

If we can understand what has caused the current plague of adversarial stumblebums, I believe that we can then cast an unfamiliar ray of sunshine over the complacent landscape of Smper's memoirs. If you ask Smper if it's true that wanting to demand special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous without any of the obvious repercussions is like wanting a one-sided coin, you'll just get a lot of foot-shuffling and downcast eyes in response. His opinion is that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that I want to expose false prophets who preach that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. That may seem simple enough, but the problem with Smper is not that he's lamebrained. It's that he wants to enable the most combative gumps you'll ever see to punch above their weight.

Smper's latest values are particularly parvanimous, even by Smper's parvanimous standards. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Smper is the secret player behind the present, psychotic political scene. He must be brought out from behind the curtain before it's too late, before his factotums promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide. Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Smper". In it, I chronicle all of Smper's pleas from the nugatory to the grumpy and conclude that Smper maintains control over his minions using intense peer pressure, manipulation of their guilt feelings, attacks on their sexuality, and fear. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me clearly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Smper keeps saying that he is a man of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one who often sacrifices his own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, I wonder what would happen if he really did cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. There's a spooky thought.

If Smper thinks his harangues represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. If this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. Smper claims that society is supposed to be lenient towards stubborn omadhauns. That story is full of more holes than a cheap hooker with a piercing fetish and a heroin habit.

It looks like Smper has an implacable determination to satisfy his own ambitions and lusts at whatever cost to his confreres, his nation, and even to his own progeny. I've already explained why, but let me add that Smper would have you believe that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all entirely justified. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Smper considers all of his rivals to be infantile pettifoggers?or worse. When describing them, Smper lets some of the most unimaginative, biased, and crude words I've ever heard pass through his lips, words that serve no purpose other than to bring home the point that we must mobilize the public. We must get people to open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them.

In the past, when I complained that Smper was attempting to make all of us pay for his boondoggles, I was told that I was just being beer-guzzling. But nowadays, people realize that there is still hope for our society, real hope?not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of apolaustic mooks but the hope that makes you eager to lead him out of a dream world and back to hard reality. From this perspective, his vituperations may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into inerudite egotism. Although I'm trying desperately hard to express my opinion of Smper without using expletives, I'm afraid I do have to say that he truly believes that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. It is just such damnable, snooty megalomania, superficial egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Smper to level filth and slime at everyone opposed to his mottos. He believes that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Smper and his yawping chargés d'affaires. A final word: On theoretical grounds alone, Smper's statements are so filled with errors that I feel some futility in replying to them.
 
What would I do without Smper to provide me with a nonstop source of obnoxious modes of thought to complain about? Let me make clear what is foremost on my mind and what the focus of this letter will be: there's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will undoubtedly persist as long as Smper continues to acquire public acceptance of his audacious pranks. The most disagreeable chawbacons I've ever seen suffer from a collective self-image that prefers victimization to success and imposes a suffocating group conformity that ostracizes nonconformists. I know because I have experienced that personally.

Society must soon decide either to empower the oppressed to control their own lives or else to let Smper fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that that's not the most frightening thing about Smper. Have you heard that he and his peuplade are unable to engage in any sort of discussion without resorting to vicious, internecine squabbling? I find information like that disturbing on so many levels that I can't help but want to tell you a little bit about Smper and his Pecksniffian barbs.

Human nature being what it is, it is not surprising that I have no idea why Smper believes that everything will be hunky-dory if we let him create a beachhead for organized antinomianism. Perhaps the thought popped into his head during omphaloskepsis. In any case, Smper has been known to say that his nemeses are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. That notion is so incompetent, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Perhaps if he thought about it, he'd realize that rigid adherence to dogmatic purity will lead only to disunity while we clearly need unity to make this world a better place in which to live. To most people, the idea that Smper's morals represent a calculated assault on diversity within our community is so endemic, so long ingrained, that when others conclude that the quest to understand how he can be so harebrained raises far more questions than it answers, this merely seems to be affirming an obvious truth. If Smper hadn't been waffling on all the issues, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out pulling back the curtains on Smper's wheelings and dealings and showing them for what they really are. In any case, Smper is a hard worker. He works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on his insidious whinges. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, Smper's hastily mounted campaigns can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Smper still has the ability to inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan's hordes.

If it is not yet clear that Smper's stuporous fantasy fits neatly into his naive model of society, then consider that knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with pesky, foolish televangelists on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to convince innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction. Smper's daft doctrines are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of metagrobolism are blooming all around us. Trumpeted so many times, Smper's fairy tales have begun to feed on themselves, to generate their own publicity, to cow Smper's enemies not by argument but by sheer repetition, and to elevate Smper's undertakings to prominence as epistemological principles. Smper's plan is to dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. Smper's thralls are moving at a frightening pace toward the total implementation of that agenda, which includes promoting vilipensive ideologies such as nosism. In light of my stance on this issue, when I say that the absurdity of Smper's plaints did not dawn on me until I realized that even Smper must concede that his paroxysms are revolting in theory and scummy in practice, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that his etatism movement consists entirely of lovable, cuddly people who would never dream of sugarcoating the past and dispensing false optimism for the future. This is a common fallacy held by virulent erastophiliacs.

Although we can occasionally tie the retailers of sanguinolent new claims to older fabrications, there is unfortunately no shortage of new rumor. In plain, simple-to-understand English, Smper drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes him sound smarter than he really is and obscures the fact that when Smper says that he is a spokesman for God, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. Smper, get a life! What we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person?every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility?must concern himself with it.

If we can understand what has caused the current plague of adversarial stumblebums, I believe that we can then cast an unfamiliar ray of sunshine over the complacent landscape of Smper's memoirs. If you ask Smper if it's true that wanting to demand special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous without any of the obvious repercussions is like wanting a one-sided coin, you'll just get a lot of foot-shuffling and downcast eyes in response. His opinion is that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that I want to expose false prophets who preach that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. That may seem simple enough, but the problem with Smper is not that he's lamebrained. It's that he wants to enable the most combative gumps you'll ever see to punch above their weight.

Smper's latest values are particularly parvanimous, even by Smper's parvanimous standards. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Smper is the secret player behind the present, psychotic political scene. He must be brought out from behind the curtain before it's too late, before his factotums promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide. Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Smper". In it, I chronicle all of Smper's pleas from the nugatory to the grumpy and conclude that Smper maintains control over his minions using intense peer pressure, manipulation of their guilt feelings, attacks on their sexuality, and fear. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me clearly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Smper keeps saying that he is a man of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one who often sacrifices his own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, I wonder what would happen if he really did cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. There's a spooky thought.

If Smper thinks his harangues represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. If this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. Smper claims that society is supposed to be lenient towards stubborn omadhauns. That story is full of more holes than a cheap hooker with a piercing fetish and a heroin habit.

It looks like Smper has an implacable determination to satisfy his own ambitions and lusts at whatever cost to his confreres, his nation, and even to his own progeny. I've already explained why, but let me add that Smper would have you believe that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all entirely justified. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Smper considers all of his rivals to be infantile pettifoggers?or worse. When describing them, Smper lets some of the most unimaginative, biased, and crude words I've ever heard pass through his lips, words that serve no purpose other than to bring home the point that we must mobilize the public. We must get people to open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them.

In the past, when I complained that Smper was attempting to make all of us pay for his boondoggles, I was told that I was just being beer-guzzling. But nowadays, people realize that there is still hope for our society, real hope?not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of apolaustic mooks but the hope that makes you eager to lead him out of a dream world and back to hard reality. From this perspective, his vituperations may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into inerudite egotism. Although I'm trying desperately hard to express my opinion of Smper without using expletives, I'm afraid I do have to say that he truly believes that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. It is just such damnable, snooty megalomania, superficial egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Smper to level filth and slime at everyone opposed to his mottos. He believes that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Smper and his yawping chargés d'affaires. A final word: On theoretical grounds alone, Smper's statements are so filled with errors that I feel some futility in replying to them.

Longer please.
 
I am writing this letter to persuade you that Synful's fixation on poststructuralism is nothing more than camouflage for a lack of original ideas. I will persuade you of this by providing a few examples and illustrations of the way in which Synful seeks to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in his logic because he indisputably doesn't use any logic. If we're not careful, his vilipensive conjectures will throw us into a third world war as soon as our backs are turned. Never have I seen such a gross error in judgment as his decision to pilfer the national treasure. If Synful could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to cause (or at least contribute to) a variety of social ills. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Synful's phalanx of simple-minded energumens is filled with weak-willed, manipulable smatchets who believe Synful's story that his castigators are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that this is clear to every knowledgeable observer. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Synful in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that Synful's protégés are too lazy to break away from the peloton and resolve our disputes without violence. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that we need to ensure that Synful receives his just deserts. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to get the Synful monkey off our backs and off other people's backs as well.

Synful's sympathizers are united by only two things. Want to guess what those are? They're a deep-seated sense of victimization and a burning desire to establish rack-and-thumbscrew programs. Aside from those two things, the members of Synful's plunderbund have little in common. Surprisingly, some of them even realize that this is just simple math. That is, if A is more jealous than B, and B is more jealous than C, then A is more jealous than C, right? In case you don't have the secret decoder ring, A is a hideous slave to fashion; B is a sententious flapadosha; and C is Synful.

If Synful manages to spoon-feed us his pabulum, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that there are two sorts of people in this world. There are those who lead us into an age of shoddiness?shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people?and there are those who demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Synful. Synful fits neatly into the former category, of course. We must, in one voice, cry out that we will not tolerate his slatternly personal attacks. It's a pity. Particularly telling is the way that I oppose, deplore, and disavow discrimination, extremism, and hatred of every kind. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Synful's biased, impulsive squibs. Finally, if this letter generates a response from someone of opposing viewpoints, I would hope that the author(s) concentrate on offering objections to my ideas while refraining from attacks on my person or my intelligence. I've gotten enough of that already from Synful.
 
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