I need help.

I think I might know what you're dealing with, but I'm not sure. Whenever there is something I feel sad about in general, I just think about it deeply whenever I go to sleep. I don't know if this is how you feel, but I thought I should post. Anyway, I searched around the internet, and found some answers. Not sure if this is true, but it seems to make sense to me. Apparently, there's a mental reaction to lighting that affects your mood. When it's at night and you are alone in a dark room, you begin to feel sad. It has something to do about the brain linking darkness with sadness. Also, whenever you go to sleep sad, you'll wake up in the morning thinking that you were unlike yourself the night before. This is because the chemicals in the brain are restored to their regular balance and you don't feel too emotional. Is this how you feel? I'm not sure if this will help, but when I want to get rid of these types of feelings, I try to resolve/move on from these issues. What is it specifically that makes you feel like an embarrassment? After identifying any issues, try to find ways to solve it yourself, if you can't, try to talking to a professional. Also, try to improve aspects of your life, like doing something you enjoy, hanging out with your friends/making news ones, etc. Also, are you sometimes depressed during the day, as well? You should try reading this, it might help: http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-with-Depression, even if you aren't, it's a good read, and might help you somehow. And, I hope this helped in anyway.

 

[ieatjello]

After thoroughly considering your issue, I have come up with a solution that may just work. Begin to think about what you want to do before this time, so you can have a better plan on how to deal with it. If you want to pack your things and leave, make a plan for it and do it in the least disturbing way. If you want to kill yourself, first consider other options, such as finding new friends and occupying your life with something you enjoy.

I think Grave may have hit the nail on the head.
If you think of a plan for what you want to do during the late hours of the night/early morning then maybe your mind won't be filled with these kinds of thoughts.

Ex. If you plan to watch LotR, look for & download some new music, and then play an hour of Cod with a buddie- then you'll be doing something and not leaving room for negative thoughts such as ending your life.

 

[TheGoon]

It's amazing how many junkies are on Sythe that turn to pot as the answer for everything.

Before bed do something proactive, work out.

Junkies? Haha, then you're quite the ignorant, arrogant, and flat out dumb.

Pot? What are you 40? Weed can help the OP out A LOT. If you knew anything, and I mean even the SLIGHTEST thing about Marijuana, you would know it has more benefits than negatives, and is used and proved to help in a wide variety of symptoms in the medical field.

Back to "junkies"... really? It's an herb grown from the earth. The base chemicals found in it are found in major over the counter medicine that major companies OWN. Wee aren't telling him to shoot up some heroine or smoke some crack... Seriously, get your head out of your ass and open your eyes. So narrow minded.

Anyways, on topic now...
OP,
Try getting on a good sleeping pattern, back up the schedule with some sleeping pills to get your body used to the times of "rest". Do some things before bed you enjoy! Music, a movie, reading, anything that will calm your nerves. If you do happen to wake up, don't be alarmed. Just be cool, and e rational. Think everything over and don't jump the gun and do anything you will regret! And also, if you couldn't tell by the wall of text above, i suggest trying some weed to help aide your endeavor of a restful sleep.

Sweet Dreams ~~

TheGÔÔN