P
Person
Guest
I originally planned on giving a background on my self so you'd further understand everything that's going on, but I'll say that I've basically raised my self. My dad left for Iraq/Afghan (he has come home multiple times but the main years of puberty he was gone) when I was 12, and my mom basically provided money for me.
About me:
I'm an older teenager and will be graduating High-school this year
I'm not an optimist to say the least, more of a realist that leans towards pessimist. I know 19% of high school relationships make it college, and 2% make it past there.
I'm not an ignorant person, I've been to third world countries and I've seen how others live and I appreciate what I have. I know things could always be worse and I hate complaining about my problems.
I'm a very laid back person. As in, I don't really get bothered by things, I don't yell or raise my voice (unless I need to) but I'm not a push over.
To start off, I'm in my higher teens and this will be the fourth year I've known my girlfriend. We've been best friends for 2 years and have been dating for one. We've had a great relationship, like really very little problems. We've never been in any "big" arguments. Yes, we've disagreed on things/something happened that her/i didn't like and we've talked about them and solved them. This is why I'm simply dumb-founded over what's happening and to say the least, now depressed. I have a lot going on and it's all crumbling at the same time.
My problem and what I need help with:
She's going out of town for a little while, and she called me and asked me to come over this morning. I get there, she walks outside (already starting to cry) and proceeds to tell me the following:
That why she's gone she believes we need time to think about what's best for us. She believes I treat her more as a bestfriend than a girlfriend and doesn't know if we should continue dating. Throughout the conversation she constantly states she needs times to think and further says that maybe this isn't what she wants, but maybe it's the stress at home that's making her think this (she has a very stressful family.) She also says that she's scared of losing me. She said she'd been having these thoughts for around a week, and it seems we can't hangout etc. due to my parents.
IMO we hangout quite often, but over the last 1-2 weeks I haven't been able to really do anything.
I asked if she was gone if she'd like me to simply leave me alone and she said no. Actually, she just texted me a few minutes ago saying that she just got there and was settling in. Not sure what/if I'm going to respond though.
How am I suppose to treat her more like a girlfriend than a best friend? We go on dates every now and then, but not really that often. We do go out and get little things (and the $ adds up) and I can't afford to take her to dinners and so forth. I don't think that's really what she's talking about, but it's one of the only things I can think of that would make her feel like a girlfriend..
As for the sexual aspect of it, we've yet to have sex. We've gone pretty far, but not all the way. I'm not sure if she wants to go farther, but even if she did I believe she still hasn't let go of the past and is scared.
I don't want advice that's simply saying "move on." The reason "younger" relationships don't last is due to the fact that every-time there's something wrong they just give up. I'd like to workout the problem, but if we can't, then I will move on.
Thanks to who ever helps.
About me:
I'm an older teenager and will be graduating High-school this year
I'm not an optimist to say the least, more of a realist that leans towards pessimist. I know 19% of high school relationships make it college, and 2% make it past there.
I'm not an ignorant person, I've been to third world countries and I've seen how others live and I appreciate what I have. I know things could always be worse and I hate complaining about my problems.
I'm a very laid back person. As in, I don't really get bothered by things, I don't yell or raise my voice (unless I need to) but I'm not a push over.
To start off, I'm in my higher teens and this will be the fourth year I've known my girlfriend. We've been best friends for 2 years and have been dating for one. We've had a great relationship, like really very little problems. We've never been in any "big" arguments. Yes, we've disagreed on things/something happened that her/i didn't like and we've talked about them and solved them. This is why I'm simply dumb-founded over what's happening and to say the least, now depressed. I have a lot going on and it's all crumbling at the same time.
My problem and what I need help with:
She's going out of town for a little while, and she called me and asked me to come over this morning. I get there, she walks outside (already starting to cry) and proceeds to tell me the following:
That why she's gone she believes we need time to think about what's best for us. She believes I treat her more as a bestfriend than a girlfriend and doesn't know if we should continue dating. Throughout the conversation she constantly states she needs times to think and further says that maybe this isn't what she wants, but maybe it's the stress at home that's making her think this (she has a very stressful family.) She also says that she's scared of losing me. She said she'd been having these thoughts for around a week, and it seems we can't hangout etc. due to my parents.
IMO we hangout quite often, but over the last 1-2 weeks I haven't been able to really do anything.
I asked if she was gone if she'd like me to simply leave me alone and she said no. Actually, she just texted me a few minutes ago saying that she just got there and was settling in. Not sure what/if I'm going to respond though.
How am I suppose to treat her more like a girlfriend than a best friend? We go on dates every now and then, but not really that often. We do go out and get little things (and the $ adds up) and I can't afford to take her to dinners and so forth. I don't think that's really what she's talking about, but it's one of the only things I can think of that would make her feel like a girlfriend..
As for the sexual aspect of it, we've yet to have sex. We've gone pretty far, but not all the way. I'm not sure if she wants to go farther, but even if she did I believe she still hasn't let go of the past and is scared.
I don't want advice that's simply saying "move on." The reason "younger" relationships don't last is due to the fact that every-time there's something wrong they just give up. I'd like to workout the problem, but if we can't, then I will move on.
Thanks to who ever helps.
