Help?

[cescfabregas]

Hey everyone,

So I've been having some trouble with my girlfriend as of Saturday night and I have no idea what to say to her. I went with her to her school's junior prom, and then afterwards went to an afterparty. Later into the night her and her friends wanted to go to a different afterparty. The problem is that I'm pretty sure there would've been drinking/smoking/so on going on there, and that's totally against who I am. I just told her I wasn't interested in going and she made me take her home. She cried pretty much the whole time and I didn't know what to say to her. It's not that I would have done anything different but she keeps saying it was the worst night of her life (whatever) and all this stuff and how all her friends hate me and all of this stuff and I don't really know how to respond. I do like her a lot but I don't know of any way to cool her down or anything.

Any help?
Thanks guys

 

[The Don Kiluminati]

I think what you did was the right thing man. In them situations, it's easy to just get carried away and sometimes go against your character/beliefs.

Did you try and explain to her that you would've felt really uncomfortable going to that place? Would she really have wanted that, for you to be uncomfortable like that?

 

[cescfabregas]

I think what you did was the right thing man. In them situations, it's easy to just get carried away and sometimes go against your character/beliefs.

Did you try and explain to her that you would've felt really uncomfortable going to that place? Would she really have wanted that, for you to be uncomfortable like that?

I did, but all she can talk about is how when she went to my prom she didn't complain or anything (totally different situation though, my school had a post prom where parents were there the whole time) but apparently she'd rather have me be extremely uncomfortable. I even offered to just go drop her off and she can be there alone

 

[Joshmatee]

Stand your ground tell her that you didn't want to go because of all that and you didn't want her being around that environment because you care about her.

 

[cescfabregas]

Stand your ground tell her that you didn't want to go because of all that and you didn't want her being around that environment because you care about her.

I have but she said I didn't have to drink to be there and all this stuff. She's insulting me hard but I'm trying not to take it personally haha

 

[Joshmatee]

I have but she said I didn't have to drink to be there and all this stuff. She's insulting me hard but I'm trying not to take it personally haha

Did she want to be there to drink and smoke with all of that while she leaves you sober, while she gets shit faced or?

 

[cescfabregas]

Did she want to be there to drink and smoke with all of that while she leaves you sober, while she gets shit faced or?

No, she doesn't do that stuff, she wanted to go with all her friends who planned on getting drunk and such. I mean this sounds lame but I respect what my parents say and I wasn't gonna go off and go to a party like that, I was having fun as it was I didn't think alcohol was needed to have a good time!

 

[Swin]

Woahh.. she's over-reacting big time.

No offence, she needs to wake up to the real world. She crys and crys and claims its the worst night of her life when she couldn't go to a party when she was already at one?! Then she's not in a good enough mood to be with you?
She seems very selfish, inconsiderate and spoiled if you ask me.

But anyway, what to do with her I'd let her cool down, give her some space maybe send her a text how are you?
If you don't want to do that, send flowers to her house with a note of I'm Sorry, call me.
Add I love you if you have been out for a while or if you really do love her.

Goodluck man.

 

[cescfabregas]

Woahh.. she's over-reacting big time.

No offence, she needs to wake up to the real world. She crys and crys and claims its the worst night of her life when she couldn't go to a party when she was already at one?! Then she's not in a good enough mood to be with you?
She seems very selfish, inconsiderate and spoiled if you ask me.

But anyway, what to do with her I'd let her cool down, give her some space maybe send her a text how are you?
If you don't want to do that, send flowers to her house with a note of I'm Sorry, call me.
Add I love you if you have been out for a while or if you really do love her.

Goodluck man.

That's exactly what I thought! I mean, her parents have divorced and she's had a boyfriend cheat on her, but apparently it's worse to not want to go to a party.

I'm texting her again but she keeps beating a dead horse if you know what I mean. I asked her how her day was and she said it sucked. I asked why and she said it was because people thought I was being a "b***h" at the party. Personally I think it's just her being overdramatic her so I just try to steer the topic away from that. I might get her flowers next time I see her though

 

[Joshmatee]

I might get her flowers next time I see her though

Could be a good move man I guess if she isn't getting over it try and do your best to patch shit up, if you think she's worth it.

 

Get her a gift next time you see her
That should make her happy lol.

But if she does it again just say to her, you're jepodising our relationship over something tiny, I didn't want to go to a party and you are going mad at me, I have feeling to you know.

Something on the lines of that anyway

 

[kmjt]

Tell her she can either support you are not. There are people against partying and apparently you are. If she can't understand that and is being selfish she's not worth your time. If she's really that upset about you not going to parties maybe you two shouldn't even be together. Are you really that against parties? Is it more so you feel uncomfortable there or are you religious/strict parents?

 

[malakadang]

Give it time.

From what I can tell, she feels embarrassed that your her boyfriend in front of her group of friends. Consequently, she's stuck between you and her friends. Give it time, and try to get her to open up. I'll bet you anything if you can get her friends to accept you, everything will go down a lot smoother.

 

[Swin]

That's exactly what I thought! I mean, her parents have divorced and she's had a boyfriend cheat on her, but apparently it's worse to not want to go to a party.

I'm texting her again but she keeps beating a dead horse if you know what I mean. I asked her how her day was and she said it sucked. I asked why and she said it was because people thought I was being a "b***h" at the party. Personally I think it's just her being overdramatic her so I just try to steer the topic away from that. I might get her flowers next time I see her though

Yeah, well I'd give her time. If you keep chasing after her, she will think she's got you wrapped around her little finger and by the sounds of it she does.

Tell her you're sick of hearing about it, remind her it wasn't a big deal and how lucky she is to have you.
If she give's a bitchy reply back to that, I wouldn't bother with her.

 

[cescfabregas]

Tell her she can either support you are not. There are people against partying and apparently you are. If she can't understand that and is being selfish she's not worth your time. If she's really that upset about you not going to parties maybe you two shouldn't even be together. Are you really that against parties? Is it more so you feel uncomfortable there or are you religious/strict parents?

Well if she wants to go to parties its not really a problem to me. My parents have taught me since I was really young that I shouldn't drink or smoke especially before it's legal. I just don't have any desire to or be around people that do. Nothing against people that do I totally respect that it's just not me

Give it time.

From what I can tell, she feels embarrassed that your her boyfriend in front of her group of friends. Consequently, she's stuck between you and her friends. Give it time, and try to get her to open up. I'll bet you anything if you can get her friends to accept you, everything will go down a lot smoother.

Yeah, you're probably right. The thing is I know her friends way better than she knows any of mine. I know about all the drama that's going on between her friends and all this stuff but she hasn't taken the time to know any of my closest friends.

Yeah, well I'd give her time. If you keep chasing after her, she will think she's got you wrapped around her little finger and by the sounds of it she does.

Tell her you're sick of hearing about it, remind her it wasn't a big deal and how lucky she is to have you.
If she give's a bitchy reply back to that, I wouldn't bother with her.

Haha idk if I'd try that at this point, she's sending me ridiculously mixed signals. Yesterday she wants me to change my profile picture on Facebook to one of us together, then when I tell her that I love her she says stuff like 'Riiiight' or 'I have a hard time believing that' >_<

 

Make your position clear about hanging out with the drinking/smoking crowd, if you haven't already. Introduce her to your own friends and ask her to get to know them like you knew her friends. Also, try to ease her out of that group if you think that things are going to get serious with her, so that nothing like this will ever happen again.

Good luck!

 

[Worsnop]

She could probably be pmsing.. I know for a fact that girls sometimes just bitch bitch bitch. The smallest things you do are huge things to them. Just tell her to calm down and tell her that you were just uncomfortable and it's really not that big of a deal. Also apologize cause it seems like she wants you to beg and apologize for doing that. I respect what you did, I just don't think that your girlfriend has that good of a reason to just complain and I don't think that she has a good reason to hate on you for that. It's just a party... jeez.

 

[cescfabregas]

Make your position clear about hanging out with the drinking/smoking crowd, if you haven't already. Introduce her to your own friends and ask her to get to know them like you knew her friends. Also, try to ease her out of that group if you think that things are going to get serious with her, so that nothing like this will ever happen again.

Good luck!

I have tried to previous to this. She's met my friends before and I thought they got along well! Idk if it would ever be serious (I'm only 17) but I'm not gonna go try to change her friends at this point. Thank you

She could probably be pmsing.. I know for a fact that girls sometimes just bitch bitch bitch. The smallest things you do are huge things to them. Just tell her to calm down and tell her that you were just uncomfortable and it's really not that big of a deal. Also apologize cause it seems like she wants you to beg and apologize for doing that. I respect what you did, I just don't think that your girlfriend has that good of a reason to just complain and I don't think that she has a good reason to hate on you for that. It's just a party... jeez.

Idk, she might be but I doubt it. I've tried to calm her down but she just won't let it go. I thought the same thing too... if she wants to go to a party its fine by me, I just am not really into that kinda stuff. Apparently it was the worst night of her life.

Update:
She's trying to get at me on Facebook now lol, she just made a status like this...

When the only one you'd tell your problems to becomes the source of your problems....

Lol I mean come on? I really think she's taking this too far.

 

[Worsnop]

Yeah she's definitely taking this too far. Like what the hell it was just a party, she's overreacting and just trying to cause attention on facebook. And how is that the worst night of her life lol? You really need to tell her to stop overreacting.