I am reading every reply, But not responding to them (yet)
So there is this girl. We'll call her #1
Info about her/me
#1 is 16 years old
I am 17 years old
We both share a mental disorder wich makes it hard to succesfully communicate with others.
on a scale of 0-10 she's a 9,9 to me.
I really like her and have done so for the past 2 years, I never got around to asking her out because...
When I met her she was dating my 'best friend' (sounds pretty gay thus the ' thingys)
And at the time I was together with my girl with who I have recently broke up after three years.
About three months after we met there was a rumour spreading that she secretly loved me.
Smart as I was, I broke the poor girls heart.
Told her I would not want to be with her and she simply is not a girl i'd like.
I said this because she was still dating my 'best friend' at the time, And I was still together with my girlfriend at that time.
My 'Best friend' and GF remained oblivious and never knew about this, So I thougt.
another four months later #1 and my 'best friend' had a terrible breakup.
This fell together with a big fight between her and her parents.
At this moment she tried to commit suicide and very nearly succeeded.
After this she has been in and out of hospitals for months and I had not seen/spoken to her for even more.
At this moment I found out that he always has known she was in love with me.
About three months back she returned to the 'normal' people and I saw her again every now and then.
This was really hard for the both of us and kinda kept trying to avoid the other.
twoo weeks later she also started dating a guy from my school a real loser but they make each other happy so I was glad for her. (though they have been fighting lately)
Though one month later I broke up with my girlfriend after 3 years, Clean breakup aswell.
Both wanted different things and in the end everything went surprisingly smooth.
At this moment she sought contact with me again and I agreed to meet her for a burger.
I told the entire story so far to my 'best friend' and he said "Please don't date her, I don't think I can handle that."
So as friends I told him "Ofcourse mate, Don't worry about it. Bro's before ho's."
So last week we went rollerskating to the Mc Donald's and I bought us two meals and sat down.
We both had a great time, An awkward silence every now and then and some staring at each other, But nothing inappropriate happened.
I agreed to pick her up after school, Just as friends.
We got another burger and I walked her home.
Though we ended up fooling around on the way home and at some point she kinda nailed me to the ground and sat on me.
I responded with "please get off that" Then the giggled and said "make me".
I tried again. "Please?" she just wiggled around on it.
Then I tried to explain her how this was so weird for me.
I ended up telling her the whole story from the moment we met untill where we are right now.
I explained I never wanted to break her heart, But how it was for the best.
How I always tried to avoid her, no matter how.
She started crying and asked "Where were you when I needed you?"
I replied with "I had no idea, you felt like that."
An hour of hugging and talking later we had an awkward silence, and before anything happened I told her;
"Don't do anything to be with me. Keep seeing that other guy It can't work out now"
Eventually I said goodbye to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
What do I do now?
I can't stop thinking about her, It's crazy.
I want to be with her but I can't
Don't respond with "Don't see her again" I really do need help and that is not going to cut it
Update1: I have told my 'best friend' what I have done and it turns out he still wants her back.
Update2: I spoke to my 'Best friend' and we actually used 'the bro code' To see what to do now.
Layed down a few ground rules.
eg; No dibsing, No backstabbing, Bros before hos, No hard feelings etc etc.
Update3: Under no circumstance would she even consider talking to my 'best friend'
Update4: I got her home from school, Had some small talk, Pretty fun.
Update5: My 'best friend' said "Maybe I should let you two, Fool around. I don't know." He likes to be there for me but it's hard on him
Update6: Met up with her again this evening and we did some rollerblading, Great excuse for physical contact.
Though I am not going to kiss her and asked her not to do the same while she still is in a relationship.
Update7: I spoke with her once more and she has said she will not be leaving her current BF for me. (I have told her not to do so before)
Update8: Meeting up with her this saturday, Telling her I am backing off. At least for now.
