bapesta818
Forum Addict
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2007
- Sythe Gold
- 0
- Messages
- 278
My Symptoms:
* I hear and see things that aren't there.
- I hear footsteps following me, and hear noises that aren't being made, rarely I hear voices (if I hear them I hear them say my name things like that)
- I see creatures in the shadows, stuff like that.
* I don't like reality.
- I kind of live in my own world, In my dreams, my day dreams, and in my thoughts I imagine the world different and I'm never myself.
* Sometimes I get lost in my own world and it takes a while to get back into reality.
* I feel like people or things are following me.
- If I'm driving and car follows me for a mile or more I start to freak out and I try and lose them. Same if a person is walking behind me.
* I go from angry to hyper sometimes.
- I'm kind of hyper but I'm not ADHD.
* I don’t like to socialize I’m not very good at making friends.
- In elementary school I had basically no friends, middle school I had one friend and that in the eighth grade, I made more friends in high school but I never went to parties, and I barely hung out with friends after school.
* I talk very fast sometimes, I always talk to myself, I will have conversations with myself and I talk as me and someone else (if that makes sense).
* I was told that I had major depression, and I would wing myself off of the meds that the doctors gave me, I hate meds they make me feel weird.
* I have an angry personality sometimes, sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m hyper.
* I don’t like most people, when someone makes me mad I just think about wanting them to die.
* I will have weird thoughts – like I had a friend tell me that they were going to learn how to surf and all that popped into my head was how they could die, like smashing into rocks or something. ( it is very scary and I can’t stop it from happening this happens all the time).
* OHHH… I hate germs I don’t like people touching me, like shaking hands, hands are gross..
Those are most of my symptoms.
My Past:
OK... it all started when my parents got a nasty divorce. When this happened I lived with my father he had custody. A year later he committed suicide. I was in the 5th grade. I completely shut down, I hated everyone and everything. I then had to live with my very alcoholic and verbally abusive mother, (she is an angry drunk). A year later I was forced to move to Arizona to live with my aunt and uncle. I hate to make new friends and I really never did I was still in the shut down mode and I was only able to make one friend those middle school years. I then had to move back to Oklahoma to live with my mom who was now sober (but not for long). She started drinking again and I was forced to pay many of the bills, I even bought my brother and my own Christmas presents. I now live with my Grandparents. My mom tried to commit suicide 3 times and is now in prison. When I shut down I don't think I rebooted right. The more I think about my life the more I want to end it..
What do you think?????????????????????????
* I hear and see things that aren't there.
- I hear footsteps following me, and hear noises that aren't being made, rarely I hear voices (if I hear them I hear them say my name things like that)
- I see creatures in the shadows, stuff like that.
* I don't like reality.
- I kind of live in my own world, In my dreams, my day dreams, and in my thoughts I imagine the world different and I'm never myself.
* Sometimes I get lost in my own world and it takes a while to get back into reality.
* I feel like people or things are following me.
- If I'm driving and car follows me for a mile or more I start to freak out and I try and lose them. Same if a person is walking behind me.
* I go from angry to hyper sometimes.
- I'm kind of hyper but I'm not ADHD.
* I don’t like to socialize I’m not very good at making friends.
- In elementary school I had basically no friends, middle school I had one friend and that in the eighth grade, I made more friends in high school but I never went to parties, and I barely hung out with friends after school.
* I talk very fast sometimes, I always talk to myself, I will have conversations with myself and I talk as me and someone else (if that makes sense).
* I was told that I had major depression, and I would wing myself off of the meds that the doctors gave me, I hate meds they make me feel weird.
* I have an angry personality sometimes, sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m hyper.
* I don’t like most people, when someone makes me mad I just think about wanting them to die.
* I will have weird thoughts – like I had a friend tell me that they were going to learn how to surf and all that popped into my head was how they could die, like smashing into rocks or something. ( it is very scary and I can’t stop it from happening this happens all the time).
* OHHH… I hate germs I don’t like people touching me, like shaking hands, hands are gross..
Those are most of my symptoms.
My Past:
OK... it all started when my parents got a nasty divorce. When this happened I lived with my father he had custody. A year later he committed suicide. I was in the 5th grade. I completely shut down, I hated everyone and everything. I then had to live with my very alcoholic and verbally abusive mother, (she is an angry drunk). A year later I was forced to move to Arizona to live with my aunt and uncle. I hate to make new friends and I really never did I was still in the shut down mode and I was only able to make one friend those middle school years. I then had to move back to Oklahoma to live with my mom who was now sober (but not for long). She started drinking again and I was forced to pay many of the bills, I even bought my brother and my own Christmas presents. I now live with my Grandparents. My mom tried to commit suicide 3 times and is now in prison. When I shut down I don't think I rebooted right. The more I think about my life the more I want to end it..
What do you think?????????????????????????























